


(Find Me) In The Drift

by Pangea



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Childhood Sweethearts, Communication Through Combat, Dimitri's Killer Self-Doubt, Felix Submitting To The Mortifying Ordeal Of Being Known, Felix's Bad Attitude, Grief/Mourning, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Nonbinary My Unit | Byleth, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reconciliation, Soulmates, Survivor Guilt, The Drift (Pacific Rim), cancelling the apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:28:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 53,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27113314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pangea/pseuds/Pangea
Summary: Legions of monstrous creatures called Kaiju are rising from the sea, crawling up out of a trench in the northern ocean to lay waste to Faerghus. As the years go by and the onslaught continues, Faerghus is on the verge of defeat—and if Faerghus falls, the Empire and the Alliance are next.Trained to be a pilot but never given an opportunity to drift, Felix left the Shatterdome five years ago and hasn’t looked back once since. Copiloting with Dimitri used to be all he ever wanted, until things went so very wrong.Haunted by his first and only mission, Dimitri hasn’t tried to contact Felix ever since that fateful day five years ago, even despite how much he regrets the way they parted. As the situation against the Kaiju grows more and more dire, Dimitri’s not the only one who realizes bringing Felix back just might be their only hope for a last-ditch, desperate mission to put a stop to them once and for all.That is, if Felix and Dimitri can find a way to resolve the tension between them and open their minds to one another before it’s too late.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 43
Kudos: 84
Collections: Dimilix Big Bang





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yinyoru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yinyoru/gifts), [RoSue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoSue/gifts).



> Deep, heartfelt thanks to my talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping, spectacular artists **YinYoru** and **RoSue** for collaborating with me on this project! You both know how much I absolutely love the pieces you've done, but it bears repeating again and again. You guys brought this fic to life!
> 
> Please check them both out here:
> 
> **[YinYoru Twitter](https://twitter.com/yin_yoru)** | **[YinYoru Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/yinyoru/)**
> 
> **[RoSue Twitter](https://twitter.com/RoBo9623)** | **[RoSue Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/rowboticly/)**
> 
> **[ART MASTER POST FOR YINYORU](https://twitter.com/yin_yoru/status/1320225918632267777?s=20)** **  
>  **[ART MASTER POST FOR ROSUE](https://twitter.com/RoBo9623/status/1320099239452618754?s=20)** **
> 
> **Be advised these artworks contain spoilers for the fic!
> 
> Thank you also to the mods of the Dimilix Big Bang for all your hard work running this challenge! It was lovely working with y'all over the past few months, and a much-needed creative outlet in These Times.
> 
> And finally, thank you to my one true beta, the magnificent **ikeracity** , who has gone above and beyond the call of duty this time around to ensure this fic is readable for human eyes. Any mistakes that may remain are purely my own acts of unintentional clownery.
> 
> Let's cancel this apocalypse, y'all!

Sparks fly past the protective visor covering Felix’s face in a bright shower of light, the white-hot glow of the metal beneath the electric arc of his welding rod almost too painful to look at. Ignoring the crick in his back that’s been bothering him for close to an hour now, Felix furrows his brow against the vivid light and concentrates on holding the rod steadily in his gloved hands as he welds the two joints of the enormous steel girders together.

“Fraldarius! Fraldarius!”

Felix pointedly ignores the voice calling his name, not wanting to sit up until he’s finished the long, perfect line of smoldering slag marking where he’s fused the two pieces of metal together. Stopping halfway through would weaken the integrity of the bond, and he’s not about to catch shit for it just because—probably—one of the other guys wants to tell him a stupid joke.

“Yo, _Fraldarius!_ ”

Switching the welding rod off so it no longer emits a dangerous electric arc of searing gas, Felix sits up from where he’d been pressed down flat against the steel girder he’s been working on and rips up his protective visor from his face so he can glare downwards at the ground a full two stories below him.

“What?” he demands, annoyed at the interruption.

“Visitor,” the same voice calls back up to him over the sound of at least two hundred other people, men and women, busy like worker bees all around them in the lattice-like network of steel girders, welding and hammering. Now that Felix is paying attention, he recognizes the foreman of the job sector he’s assigned to, and beside him is—

“Aw, Fee, is that really how you’re going to greet an old buddy?” The one and only Sylvain Gautier calls up to him, his shock of red hair unmistakable even within the dim, semi-gloom of the vast, cavernous inside of the construction site.

Felix is momentarily taken aback with enough surprise to see Sylvain, of all people, and here, of all places, that he doesn’t respond. Sylvain is not supposed to be here. Dimly, he’s aware of several other people pausing in their work to spectate this interesting interruption, and Felix can all but feel a ripple of interest flickering upwards through the steel beams as they all start to recognize Sylvain.

“Look, can you come down here?” Sylvain calls up to him with a cheery smile. There’s nothing in it Felix will be able to glean at this distance that could tell him what the hell he’s doing here. “It’s hard to shout up at you over all this noise.”

“Thank you for saving Torlodis!” someone calls out suddenly, and Sylvain ducks his head.

“Just doing my job,” he says, but he ruins the humble effect by giving a wink and a jaunty wave. “Just like all you fine folks are doing here too, of course.”

A few people let out whoops and shouts, and a smattering of clapping starts up too which is enough to galvanize Felix into motion, swinging his legs up from where they dangle and leaving his tools behind as he walks quickly across the steel beam towards the one of the ladders. He climbs down quickly, skipping rungs with practiced motions and letting gravity do most of the work as he slides down one level and then another, work boots hitting solid ground with a thud.

People are still clapping for Sylvain as Felix strides over to him, and it’s doubly annoying to realize just how much taller Sylvain seems to have gotten in the past five years as Felix comes to a stop, resisting the urge to fold his arms.

“Defense is just as important as offense!” Sylvain calls upwards to several more cheers, and he gives another wave before turning his attention to Felix, still smiling. “It’s good to see you.”

Felix narrows his eyes up at him. The foreman is looking between them curiously, and he can feel the eyes of everyone else above them looking down at them as well, so without a word he turns and strides off, heading towards the bright, yawning mouth of light fifty yards away. Despite all the noise, he can still hear Sylvain huff out a small laugh as he follows.

Outside the air is fresh and sharp, the cold sea breeze salty and mostly free of the stench of molten metal. The sky is overcast, but Felix still has to blink several times in the relative brightness as he leads Sylvain further away, winding through piles of rebar and scrap metal until they reach the end of the slab of concrete and there’s nothing left but ice. The sea is frozen this close to shore, during the winter, stretching out for hundreds of yards from the rocky coast.

“What the hell are you doing here,” Felix says without preamble and without turning around, eyes locked on the distant, grey horizon.

“I _said_ it’s good to see you,” Sylvain says lightly, coming up to stand beside him. He practically looms over Felix, but he always has, even when they were kids. “I mean really. Five years and not even a phone call? An email? A text?”

“And what would you have had me say?” Felix bites out. “‘Oh, thank you, Mr. Strong Pilot. You’re so brave.’”

“Wouldn’t hurt,” Sylvain says, but his eyes are twinkling when Felix finally turns his head briefly to glare at him. “We’ve been worried about you. I’m just glad to see you doing...well.”

“Really,” Felix says flatly, and Sylvain lifts his hands.

“Okay, okay. I’ll admit that working construction for the wall project is kind of the last place I expected to find you. When the Professor said they’d found out you were working here, I didn’t believe it at first.”

“Here I am,” Felix drawls. “Now you’ve had your look, so you can fuck off back to the Shatterdome.”

“I missed you, Felix,” Sylvain says fondly. Disgustingly, he actually sounds sincere. It’s enough to raise Felix’s hackles.

“If that’s all, I have work to do,” Felix snaps, turning around to head back. The half-constructed wall towers above them both, massive sheets of thick, plated metal standing between the ocean and the whole of Faerghus with a latticework of unfinished steel reinforcement behind them. A misguided, foolish attempt at protection.

A hand darts out and grasps him by the biceps, stopping him in his tracks. Felix throws another glare up at Sylvain, but Sylvain merely absorbs his vitriol with an uncharacteristically serious expression. “Listen. I want you to hear me out before you say no.”

Very suddenly, Felix realizes exactly what he’s going to ask. “I’m not going back.”

“We need you, Fee,” Sylvain says, unwavering.

“Don’t call me that.”

“The Adrestians pulled out of the Jaeger program,” Sylvain says, and Felix stops his attempts at trying to yank his arm free. “It hasn’t been announced in the news yet, but it’s only a matter of time. Edelgard decided this coastal wall would be sufficient protection once it’s completed, and therefore the Jaegers are just a waste of resources and funds.”

“Easy for her to say,” Felix snaps, “the Kaiju aren’t barreling out of Adrestian waters onto her lands.”

“I know,” Sylvain says with a smile that doesn’t come anywhere close to reaching his eyes. He lets go of Felix’s arm, seemingly certain Felix isn’t going to stride off anymore. “The segment of the wall down at Torlodis was finished when that Category III tore right through it.”

“I know that,” Felix mutters, putting a hand on his hip and fixing his gaze on a pile of rebar, already rusting in the salty air and covered in a thick coating of seagull shit. It’s an apt metaphor for the wall project as a whole; even Felix thinks the wall is a farce but working on it is better than sitting on his hands doing nothing.

“Jaegers are our best shot at defeating the Kaiju,” Sylvain says, and Felix can feel his eyes on his face, piercing. “But with Edelgard and the others gone, we’ve just lost more than half our pilots. We’re down to just two fully operational units now.”

“Two?” Felix arches a brow. He’d thought…

No. It doesn’t matter.

“Yes, only two,” Sylvain says, but he’s still watching Felix with his unfortunately perceptive eyes. “Claude’s still sending whatever funding he can scrape together from the Alliance, but in his last message he said the nobles were beginning to question the reasoning of pouring money into the Jaeger program while the wall was being built. It’s only a matter of time before they balk completely anyway, I think. We’ve always known Leicester had the least amount at stake in this. At least with the Empire we could pretend _maybe_ some of their coast was in danger.”

“None of this matters anyway,” Felix says, a little impatiently, “I’m not a pilot.”

“Sure you are,” Sylvain says smoothly. “You did all the same training we did.”

“So?” Felix demands, mad at how his voice is in danger of sounding brittle. He swallows it back, but keeps the anger. “I never got into a real cockpit.”

“But you were all but matched with—”

“It _doesn’t matter_ ,” Felix interrupts him dangerously, and for once in his life Sylvain has the good sense to shut up.

“What _does_ matter is that you’ve completed the training,” a calm voice says from behind them, and Felix turns to see Byleth approaching them through the rebar piles. “You might be a little rusty after five years, but it’ll be much quicker for us to brush up your skills than to find an entirely new candidate and train them from scratch.”

“Hello Professor,” Felix says stiltedly as Byleth comes to a stop. They’d covered the neon green hair extensively in the news when it’d happened, but it’s still shocking to see in person.

Byleth gives a small smile, perfectly polite. “Hello Felix. I’m glad to see you.”

“That’s what I told him,” Sylvain says, “and he still hasn’t returned the sentiment, by the way.”

Felix ignores him. “I was sorry to hear about the loss of Jeralt.”

Something flickers through Byleth’s expression so quickly Felix wonders if he’s imagined it. “Thank you,” they say, “I miss him every day.”

“If you only have two operational units,” Felix says, wanting to move past the awkwardness before Sylvain can make a comment, “I’d still be the odd one out.” He pauses. “Unless you think I’m drift compatible with you.”

“No,” Byleth says with a small laugh, “I don’t believe you are.” Coming from anyone else, it would be insulting, but from them, it’s merely fact. The Professor is the only person so far in existence who’s been able to pilot a Jaeger completely solo without their brain being fried in the aftermath. “We have a shortlist of candidates who we think have a strong chance of being drift compatible with you.”

“If you have that many candidates, why not just stick two of them in a Jaeger and call it a day,” Felix says bluntly. “Why bother with me at all?”

Byleth and Sylvain exchange glances. “It’s complicated,” Sylvain starts, and Felix narrows his eyes again.

“You want me to pilot with Dimitri,” he says, and the way Sylvain immediately glances at the Professor again for help only confirms it. “Absolutely not. I will never drift with the likes of _him._ ”

“I’m sure you recall your compatibility score,” Byleth says calmly, unruffled in the face of Felix’s anger.

“And I’m sure you recall how little it meant in the end anyway,” Felix spits back, and Sylvain’s face shutters.

“Decisions back then were made differently,” Byleth answers, still calm. “As it stands, we can only move forward with what we have left.”

“So I’m just the leftovers?” Felix asks bitterly, rage suddenly snuffed out like a candle and replaced with bone-deep exhaustion. He’s tired. Every muscle in his back aches and every joint in his body feels like the cold wind off the frozen sea is cutting right through.

“No,” Byleth says, somewhat reproachfully. “Never that. The reason we don’t just stick two of our candidates from our shortlist into a Jaeger and call it a day, as you say, is because no one is as good as you are. Your scores still remain at the top of the lists even now. The Jaeger program is hanging on by a thread, and if we’re going to finish this war, we need the best of the best. And that’s you, Felix.”

Finish this war, Felix wonders. He hadn’t thought there was ever going to be an end in sight.

“C’mon Felix,” Sylvain says, dropping a heavy arm down around Felix’s shoulders. Felix knows he should shrug him off, but he doesn’t. “You know just as well as we do that this wall isn’t going to cut it. And you also know that if we don’t put a stop to the Kaiju ourselves, they’re just going to keep coming until we’re all dead.”

“Yes,” Felix sighs, because there’s no reason to deny either of those things.

“So I want you to look me in the eye and tell me you’d rather die here on this big heaping scrap pile of junk metal,” Sylvain says, “or if you’d rather die in the cockpit of a Jaeger with a fifty-foot sword in your hand.”

Felix scowls and Sylvain grins, jostling him with his one-armed grip until Felix eels his way free. “Fine,” he says, fixing both Sylvain and the Professor with his best icy look, “I’ll come back. But you’d better save yourselves the hassle and strike Dimitri’s name from your list right now.”

“Alright, knew you’d see it our way!” Sylvain says, pumping a fist in the air in victory. “Felix is coming home!”

Byleth merely smiles, perfectly polite. “We’ll see.”

*

“You are distracted today.”

Dimitri looks up from where he’s been all but wringing his hands in his lap, fidgeting like a child in primary school, sheepish and guilty all at once for being caught out. “Oh. Yes. I suppose I am. I apologize.”

“There is no need to,” Dedue says, ever calm and steady. He’s sitting up in bed today, propped up by two large pillows Dimitri has offered to adjust for him multiple times, though Dedue has assured him he’s comfortable enough. “Today is a big day.”

“Ah,” Dimitri says, slightly embarrassed Dedue can read him so well as to guess what’s eating at him. It stands to reason, after all, as Dedue has been deep inside Dimitri’s head. “Yes, I suppose it is.”

Dedue observes him thoughtfully. The book he’d been reading rests lightly in his lap, spine leaned against the thick plaster of the cast encasing his left thigh where it hangs suspended along with the rest of his leg from the bed with soft straps. His entire left arm up to the shoulder is also encased in plaster, and beneath the thin hospital gown, Dimitri knows some of Dedue’s ribs are broken as well.

Even so, Dedue sits still, calm and patient as he waits Dimitri out. He has to be uncomfortable. Itchy. Restless. But it’s Dimitri who shifts in his chair beside Dedue’s bed, largely unscathed save for a few small scrapes here and there that hadn’t even required much attention, unable to hold himself as he should. Even the eyepatch, brand new and fitted perfectly to his head, feels stifling.

“Felix comes back today,” Dimitri says finally, even though Dedue already knows as much.

“Yes,” Dedue says, and he’s kind enough not to say so. “If he agrees to the Professor’s proposal.”

“I should have gone with them,” Dimitri says, looking past Dedue out the wide window his bed sits beside. It offers a view of the ocean, grey and choppy today, white caps frothing as they pitch against the counter forces of the wind and current as far as the horizon goes. “I should not have let Sylvain go in my stead.”

Dedue considers this. Dimitri has been inside Dedue’s head too, and knows how he thinks. He can practically feel Dedue choosing his words, lining them up carefully in a row before he speaks them aloud. “I respectfully disagree. The Professor was wise to choose Sylvain to accompany them. Sylvain is a childhood friend of Felix’s, and would thus know how to appeal to him best.”

So am I, Dimitri wants to say, but Dedue knows that. Dedue knows everything. “I should not have left things as they were for five years. I fear it’s too late.”

“Five years is a long time,” Dedue agrees, matter-of-fact as always, and Dimitri wants to wince. “What happened then was a tragedy. In the aftermath, you were not yourself. Perhaps you said things...you did not entirely mean. But you’ve changed since then. Perhaps in this same time, Felix has had time to reflect as well.”

Dimitri lets out a short, bitter laugh. “Have I truly changed?”

“Yes,” Dedue says, staunchly calm but firm. “You hold yourself to impossible standards you would not hold anyone else to, Your Highness.”

“Please, you know there’s no need for titles here. But we don’t need the drift for you to read me like your book, my friend,” Dimitri says, nodding down at the novel in Dedue’s lap, and Dedue cracks a brief smile. Dimitri sighs. “You’re right, of course. But I can’t help but feel…” Nervous. Maybe even terrified. “...Apprehensive.”

“That is only natural.”

“Felix has no reason to have forgiven me.”

“You know Felix better than I,” Dedue answers slowly, picking his words with care again, “I have no doubt you will be able to find a way to make amends with him.”

“As always, I am unfathomably grateful for your unwavering belief in me,” Dimitri says ruefully, and Dedue cracks another smile. “But yes, of course. I’ll find a way. I must, for all our sakes.”

Dedue watches him for a moment longer, and for a suspended, mortifying moment Dimitri thinks he’ll bring up the proverbial elephant in the room he can’t have missed from being inside Dimitri’s head. Thankfully, he merely says, “For the sake of Faerghus and the rest of the realm, I’m sure Felix will be willing to meet you halfway.”

Will he, Dimitri wonders, unwilling to pose the question out loud as they lapse into silence. Felix has always been so fiercely...himself. Unbending in his principles and sharper than a blade. What Dimitri has done to him _is_ unforgivable, even in the face of the apocalypse. Why would Felix ever want to return here? Why would Felix ever consent to stepping into the cockpit of a Jaeger with Dimitri and let Dimitri into his head after what happened with—

“I believe they have returned,” Dedue comments, and sure enough, when Dimitri listens closely, he can hear the familiar drone of the chopper blades, whirling by somewhere overhead as the helicopter circles over the Shatterdome in preparation for a landing on the rooftop helipad.

A thrill of adrenaline shoots through Dimitri. He’s not—he’s not ready. “What if Felix didn’t—?” he blurts out, unable to stop the volcanic emission of his anxiety from bubbling over.

“There’s only one way to know,” Dedue says gently. He reaches over to Dimitri with his right arm, his unbroken arm, setting his hand on Dimitri’s shoulder. “If he did not come, then we will find another way.”

Dimitri lets out a stream of air as a breath, exhaling slowly. He must be calm and centered. Just like the drift. “Yes. Of course. You’re right.” He covers Dedue’s hand with his own briefly, mustering up a weak smile. “Thank you.”

“There is no need for thanks,” Dedue says, allowing his hand to slip off Dimitri’s shoulder as Dimitri rises. “Your Highness.”

Dimitri pauses where he’s reached the doorway to Dedue’s room, looking back over his shoulder at his friend questioningly. “Please, Dedue, there’s never been any need for formalities here,” he reminds him again, “and you and I are far past that point now anyway.”

Dedue meets his gaze steadily. “You must remember. It wasn’t your fault.”

Dimitri gives him a small nod, turning away and stepping out of the room into the hallway to make his way down towards the service lift. He and Dedue have drifted together, so Dedue has been inside Dimitri’s head. Dedue has seen everything, so he knows exactly what happened five years ago.

Which is also exactly why Dedue should know it’s entirely Dimitri’s fault.

He spends the ride in the lift standing with his arms folded behind his back, head bowed as the rusting mechanisms haul the wide platform upwards, contemplative. Part of him wants to put this off for as long as possible, but most of him _has_ to know—did Felix return to the Shatterdome? It thrills him and scares him in equal measure. Regardless of what he said to Dedue, Dimitri’s still not entirely certain if he’s ready to face Felix again. Even if he owes it to him.

Even if he desperately, desperately wants to see Felix again.

The lift comes to a juddering halt at the rooftop, Dimitri’s heart stuttering along with the platform as it sways. It takes a moment for the doors to grind apart, half-rusted thanks to constant exposure of salty air and sea spray blown up from the ocean far below. The Shatterdome sits on the very edge of the coast, at the wide mouth of the River Loog where it meets the cold north Faerghus Sea. When the doors finally part to admit Dimitri out onto the rooftop, he’s hit with an icy cold blast of wind straight off the ocean, like Sothis herself is trying to flay him to the bone.

Hunching his shoulders against the cold, Dimitri walks across the cracked pavement towards the helicopter. Annette and Mercedes are already here, waiting just a little ways beyond the elevator doors and outside the reach of the whirling chopper blades as they slowly power down. Dimitri can’t help but feel a wave of fondness towards them as he walks up to join them. Of course. He’s not the only one looking forward to seeing Felix again and hoping he’s returned.

“Hello Dimitri,” Mercedes greets him serenely above the noise of the chopper as he comes to a stop beside her. With deft ease, she loops her arm through his so they stand united together. “Did you bring that tray of biscuits up to Dedue like I asked?”

“Yes, I did,” Dimitri answers politely. “He sends his thanks. The treats were delicious.”

“Oh, I’m so glad,” Mercedes says with a smile. “How is he feeling?”

“Well,” Dimitri says. “Dedue is strong. I have no doubt his recovery will be swift.” If he says it aloud, perhaps it will be true.

“I’m sure you’re right.” She gives his arm a small, gentle squeeze, something knowing in her eyes, and Dimitri has to look away towards the helicopter.

“Ooh, he better have come!” Annette says as the side door to the chopper slides open, and Dimitri’s mouth goes dry.

Sylvain is the first to emerge, ducking through the doorway and keeping his head down as he walks towards them. “Now I know you all didn’t just come up here to see little old me,” he says when he straightens, amused. “What could _possibly_ be all the fuss?”

“Don’t play coy!” Annette says, nearly stamping a foot in jittery impatience. “Did you find him or not?”

“I wonder,” Sylvain says, catching Dimitri’s eye and giving him a wink.

Before Annette can admonish him further, Byleth climbs out of the helicopter, calm and composed as always, and behind them, with a single old, battered duffle hoisted over one shoulder, comes Felix.

Dimitri’s heart pounds in his chest, louder than even the chopper or the wind in his ears. Mercedes strokes his hand gently.

“Felix!” Annette cries out gladly, prancing on the spot before darting forward to throw herself at him, flinging her arms around him with a breathless laugh.

“Ugh, what the hell, Annette,” Felix snaps, rocking back on his heels, but he catches her, and Dimitri notices he doesn’t shove her away and lets her cling. He always did have an immeasurable soft spot for Annette, and it makes Dimitri’s heart ache to see that hasn’t changed, even after five years of no contact with any of them.

“I’m so glad you’re back!” Annette shouts over the chopper, grinning up at him brightly. “You changed your hair!”

“You’re embarrassing,” Felix says back loudly, but then he adds, “You did too.” He finally pushes her away, though it’s more of a gentle brush than a shove. Annette makes a face at him but lets go so they can catch up with Byleth and join the rest of everyone else where they’re still gathered.

Mercedes gently lets go of Dimitri to step forward, leaning up to kiss Felix on the cheek. “Welcome back, Felix,” she says kindly, “thank you for coming.”

“Yeah,” Felix says, a slight flush rising to his cheeks as his eyes dart away to the side, never one for eye contact. “Thanks.”

“Let’s get inside,” Byleth suggests, wearing a small smile. “We can get you settled and do a quick tour if you’d like.”

“It’s not like I’ve forgotten what the place looks like,” Felix says, but then his eyes track back over and come to a halt on Dimitri.

Time slows, or at least for Dimitri it seems to trickle to a near standstill. He takes Felix in, drinks up the sight of him in the flesh like a dehydrated man led to an oasis in the Sreng desert. Five years stretch between them, and Felix is at the same time exactly as Dimitri remembers him yet utterly different—Annette’s right, he’s changed his hair, no longer up in a messy bun with a few strands loose; instead he wears it in a complex-looking part that gives him a sweep of bangs and culminates in a small ponytail at the back of his head. His cheekbones are sharper, his jawline more defined, and Dimitri wonders what Felix sees as he looks back at Dimitri in equal measure.

Dimitri tries to muster up a smile. He’s not sure how well he succeeds. “Hello Felix.”

Just like that, the spell is broken. Felix tears his eyes away, scowling. “Just stay away from me,” he says, hitching his duffle a little higher and jostling his way past Dimitri roughly, stomping towards the elevator doors. Byleth puts a hand on Dimitri’s arm briefly before following after Felix, and Annette frowns before scurrying after them too. Dimitri hopes she isn’t going to try and scold Felix.

“We’ll see you inside?” Mercedes asks gently, and Dimitri nods. Reassured, Mercedes flows after the group and catches up with them in time to join them on the lift before the doors close.

“Well, that went better than expected,” Sylvain says brightly, clapping Dimitri on the shoulder. The chopper’s engine powers down completely, and they no longer have to shout to be heard. “Don’t look so glum, buddy. He’s gotta be prickly at first because that’s who he is as a person, but he’ll come around.”

“I am not so certain,” Dimitri says honestly, huffing out a mirthless laugh. He’d hoped that maybe...but no, this is exactly the greeting he deserves. “He has every right to hate me.”

Sylvain frowns. “You don’t _really_ think he hates you? Dimitri, you know it wasn’t your fault. Even Felix knows that.”

Sylvain has more of an excuse than Dedue for not understanding; he hasn’t been inside Dimitri’s head. He hasn’t seen what Dimitri’s done.

“I’m sorry you missed the lift,” is all Dimitri says as the cold wind picks up again, biting even through his layers of clothes, “it’s going to be a long wait.”


	2. Chapter 2

Unpacking doesn’t take long on the account of not having much to unpack in the first place. Felix doesn’t have many worldly possessions he carries around with him, and his clothes don’t even fill a single drawer in the room he’s been granted. It’s a pilot’s quarters, a single room with the bare minimum essentials: bed, dresser, desk, tiny porthole window looking out at the ocean, and, most luxuriously: a private bathroom with a narrow shower.

After poking through the desk drawers only to find one bitten off pencil, Felix sits on the edge of the bed. When he’d lived in the Shatterdome before, he’d lived down with the recruits. They’re housed a couple levels below here, community-style in long rows of bunks. His bunk had been above Dimitri’s, at least until Dimitri had been moved up here into the pilot quarters.

_Hello Felix._ He can’t get the sight of Dimitri out of his mind, looking down at him with such tentative _hope_ it’s enough to make Felix ball his hands into fists. Who does he think he is, wanting to play nice now? And when did he get so tall and _massive?_

A rapid, echoing knock on the iron door to his room stalls his annoyed thoughts, and Felix gets up to peer through the peephole. Annette waits outside, giving a friendly wave to one of the engineers passing by in the busy hallway. Felix unlocks the door with a scrape and pulls it open.

“Where’s the Professor?”

“They got called into a teleconference,” Annette explains at once, whirling around to give Felix one of her bright smiles. “So lucky you, you’re stuck with me for the tour!”

“I don’t really need a tour,” Felix begins, and Annette pouts.

“Aw, c’mon, it’ll be fun,” she cajoles, “and besides, it’ll give us time to catch up.”

Felix heaves the most put-upon sigh he can muster but allows her to take him by the arm and drag him out of his room, heavy door clanging shut behind him. “Fine, but only if I get a song.”

“Felix!” Annette swats at him. “I can’t believe you still remember that!”

“It’s been five years, not fifty,” Felix says dryly as they make their way down the hallway, going along with the rest of the foot traffic. “You can’t tell me you still don’t make up songs.”

“That’s—it’s none of your business!”

“Maybe it’s the only reason I agreed to come back.”

“It is _not_ ,” Annette wails as they reach the end of the hall, passing through a wide, open doorway and into the massive hanger beyond. “Felix! Don’t be mean!”

“I’m not,” Felix answers absently, which is the truth, but for now he’s too busy looking up to focus on teasing her.

Standing on the ground floor of the hangar puts into perspective just how massive the Shatterdome is, the open-air space of fifty stories stretching on for the length of six football fields making all of the technicians and engineers swarming across the ground and scaffolding look like ants. Felix knows from memory there are six Jaeger bays, capable of launching up to thirty Jaegers at one time at maximum capacity. High above, at about the thirty-story level, or eye-level for a Jaeger, LOCCENT Mission Control overlooks the entirety of the hangar, serving as the communications center as well as Jaeger calibration and deployment coordination. Felix has only ever set foot there once.

Annette is quiet at first, letting Felix look his fill. “It honestly probably hasn’t changed much,” she admits after a few minutes, when they’re forced to step out of the way for a cart hauling a trailer full of cables wide enough for a human to crawl through.

“Less Jaegers,” Felix says. He can’t see all of the bays from this ground-floor angle, but he knows they’re mostly empty. On the helicopter flight across the bay from where Felix had been working on the wall to the Shatterdome, the Professor had confirmed they really were down to only two operational Jaegers—Lamine Crusher, piloted by Mercedes and Annette, and Daphnel Ruin, piloted by Ingrid and Sylvain.

Supposedly there’s a third Jaeger, fully built and functional other than a few necessary repairs, that’s to be Felix’s. Byleth hadn’t elaborated on its name or what exactly the repairs were, and even Sylvain had been suspiciously uneager to blurt out all the details. From where he stands with Annette right now, Felix can only see Lamine Crusher’s heels in the bay closest to them, so this third, mysterious Jaeger must be further down.

“Yeah,” Annette agrees. “It’s been tough. Especially with the Adrestians pulling out.”

“They couldn’t even leave the Jaegers they built behind?”

“No,” Annette says, her mouth twisting in a small, bitter smile. “They belong to the Empire, after all. I guess they’re going to be decommissioned there and taken apart for whatever worth they can get back out of them.”

Felix almost opens his mouth to ask what Dimitri thinks of that, but he holds his tongue. He doesn’t care what Dimitri thinks. “Never liked them anyway.”

Annette giggles. “Felix, you always say that about everyone but we know that’s not true.”

“Just take me to the next spot on this tour.”

“Alright, alright, Mr. Grumpypants,” Annette singsongs, and takes his hand to lead him back out of the hangar. She ends up taking him through the cafeteria, which looks exactly the same as it did five years ago, and there they run into Ashe just as he’s coming off the tail end of his lunch break.

“Felix!” Ashe exclaims, blinking at him in surprise before breaking into one of his unbearably wholesome smiles, stretching the smattering of freckles on his cheeks. Ashe had come to the Shatterdome initially as a kitchen boy, but his quick fingers and sharp mind had seen him quickly reassigned to the engineering unit, crawling across Jaegers damaged in battles with Kaiju to make repairs. He’d become part of their social group after bonding with Annette and Mercedes over baking in the kitchen during their downtime. Presently, Felix has to grapple with the unexpected realization Ashe has shot up in height and is now eye level with him, which is a shocking enough development all on its own. “Oh man, I’m so glad to see you!”

He looks like he’s going to come in for a hug, and Felix quickly sticks his hand out to turn it into a handshake instead. “Yeah, well. Surprise.”

“How’ve you been?” Ashe asks earnestly, and Seiros—he really wants to know.

“Fine,” Felix says stiltedly. “How’s things here?” He can tell Annette is muffling her laughter at him and tries to step on her foot, but she skips back out of the way.

“Oh, you know, we’re keeping on as best we can,” Ashe says, scratching the back of his head. “I’m sure you already know about the Adrestians packing up. The mood around here’s been a little strained ever since they left, but it picked up a little when Ingrid and Sylvain brought down that Category III without much trouble last week. I’m sure everyone’s super glad you’re back too! You’ll bolster our numbers, even if it’s just a little!”

“We’ll see,” Felix says, still skeptical. “We don’t know if I’ll be drift compatible enough with anyone yet.”

Ashe’s brow furrows in confusion. “Oh, but I thought—”

“It was great seeing you, Ashe, but I’m sure you have repairs to get back to,” Annette breaks in cheerfully, tugging at Felix’s arm with one hand and waving at Ashe with the other. “Gotta have Daphnel Ruin back in tip-top shape in time for the next Kaiju sortie! See you tonight at dinner!”

“Um yeah, sure,” Ashe calls after them, still looking slightly bewildered, “see you?”

“Annette,” Felix says silkily as she pulls him into the lift just outside the cafeteria, folding his arms as she hits a button on the grimy panel. All the elevators in the Shatterdome are more like service lifts than regular elevators, large enough to carry carts of metal and other supplies rather than just people alone.

“Yes, Felix?” Annette asks him sweetly, turning around to face him as they begin to rise.

“Why does everyone seem to think I’ll be drifting with Dimitri?” Felix asks, still keeping his tone deceptively pleasant even while anger spikes hot and jagged in his stomach. If they think he’ll let Dimitri within even a mile of the inside of his head, then they’ve all been spending too much time letting their brains be cooked by the radioactive nuclear cores of the Jaegers.

“Is it really such a surprise?” Annette wonders. “Just think about it for a moment, Felix. We were all recruits at the same time. We all remember your test scores. You two had the highest compatibility out of anyone. Even more than me and Mercie!”

“For all the good it did,” Felix bites out, and Annette ducks her head.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Felix takes a breath, in and out, and wills himself to calm. Annette doesn’t deserve his anger, and he doesn’t want to be angry at her anyway. “Don’t be,” he says, looking away, “it’s not your fault.”

“Anyway, it just sort of makes sense,” Annette continues lightly after a pause. “Who _else_ would you pilot with if not Dimitri?”

Felix snorts, making his derision towards just the idea clear. “The Professor says they have a shortlist of candidates. I’m sure one of them will be sufficient.”

“I see,” Annette says pensively, though she doesn’t sound entirely convinced. The elevator trundles to a shuddering halt, the doors peeling open. “Here we are! I thought you might like to see the Kwoon Combat Room.”

Like the cafeteria, the Combat Room hasn’t changed much at all either since the last time Felix laid eyes on it. Racks of different weapons line the walls along the raised, padded flooring where Felix and the rest of his recruit class would spend up to 14 hours a day being pushed to their physical and mental limits by Byleth, their training master and teacher, while drilling in all manner of combat.

Felix had reveled in it.

The ultimate goal of the Combat Room training had been to form ideal partnerships between the recruits. Those partnerships are the basis of successfully forming a neural bridge and drifting together to pilot a Jaeger, as it takes two people joined seamlessly together to handle such an immense mental load. Bonds have to be strong in order for the drift to be stable, and only a stable drift can keep a Jaeger going. The training they’d all undergone had pushed them to the brink again and again, and they’d all come out of it on the other side changed.

But apparently, Felix still hadn’t been quite enough.

Ingrid stands alone in the center of the padded floor, working her way through drills with a wooden lance, every motion precise and calculated. When she sees Felix and Annette, she stops, breaking into a smile. “Felix!”

“I told you he’d come,” Annette says smugly as Ingrid crosses over to them.

“I guess you were right,” Ingrid says with a small laugh, resting her lance on the ground as she looks over Felix for a moment. There’s a small pause, tinged with awkwardness, before she says sincerely, “It’s good to see you.”

“That’s what everyone’s been saying,” Felix mutters, fixing his gaze on the practice swords against the wall nearby. “Good to see you too.” He does mean it.

There’s another awkward pause, where not even Annette can find something to say. Felix isn’t sure what he _should_ say to Ingrid. He’s known her for as long as he can remember, just as long as he’s known Dimitri and Sylvain, before the Jaeger program was even a wisp of an idea or Kaijus were crawling up out of the ocean. But with everything that’s happened since, Felix is at as much of a loss with her as she seems to be with him.

He settles for the obvious. “I can’t believe you drift with fucking Sylvain.”

Ingrid’s face immediately wrinkles. “It came as much of a surprise to me, I can assure you, when we were initially slated to be paired. But we actually work quite well together, as I’m sure you’ve seen.”

“Hm. Do you inject morals into his brain or something while you’re in there?”

“Felix,” Ingrid says exasperatedly, and Annette laughs.

“You could be onto something,” she says, eyes sparkling mischievously, “he’s certainly cut down on the lady killer act ever since they started piloting together.”

“Did I hear someone say lady killer?” Sylvain asks, sticking his head into the room with a sultry grin. “Are you guys talking about me?”

“Speak of the devil,” Felix says dryly, and Ingrid scowls.

“You’re late,” she says to Sylvain as he comes further into the room, and it’s Felix’s turn to scowl when Dimitri trails in behind him. She tosses the lance in her hands at Sylvain horizontally. “We were supposed to meet here twenty minutes ago for training.”

Sylvain catches the lance reflexively, the wood smacking into his palms like it was made to fit there. “Yeah, well, got a little sidetracked. I’m sure you’ll find a way for me to make it up to you.” He grins beguilingly.

“Yes, I will,” Ingrid says matter-of-factly, already crossing over to collect another lance for herself. “Let’s go.”

“I’m going to have so many bruises tomorrow morning,” Sylvain says to Felix with a wink, but he kicks off his shoes and hops up onto the mat, giving his lance a lazy twirl before dropping into a ready position.

“Disgusting, aren’t they?” Annette says sweetly when Felix looks over at her incredulously.

Dimitri is hovering, looking as if he wants to say something, but Felix pointedly avoids looking at him. It’s excruciatingly hard not to—if Ashe got taller, Dimitri’s shot up like a weed in the five years Felix was gone, and his shoulders are twice as broad as Felix remembers. He’s grown his hair out, actually long enough now for him to pull back into a ponytail, and he’s wearing an _eyepatch_ —has he _lost an eye?_

No. Felix doesn’t care. “Where are we going next?” he asks Annette, focusing completely on her.

“Ah, there you are.” Byleth strides into the Combat Room just as Annette opens her mouth to answer, long coat fluttering behind them. “Thank you for taking him around, Annette.”

“No trouble at all, Professor!”

“You know none of you still have to call me that,” Byleth says, ruefully amused. “Felix, I wanted to invite you to have dinner with me tonight. I thought we might go over a few more things while we eat.”

“Fine,” Felix says, because he has no reason to turn them down. Hopefully it will involve briefing him on the list of his potential partners.

“Good,” Byleth says briskly, and then turns to Dimitri. “Dimitri, you’re invited too.”

“I—what?” Dimitri says, startled.

“ _What?_ ” Felix demands.

“Professor,” Dimitri says, pained, “I couldn’t possibly—”

“Oh, you certainly could,” Byleth says calmly, “so I’ll see you both in the cafeteria at 7. Don’t be late.” They turn on their heel and stride back out of the Combat Room.

“Man,” Sylvain says dreamily into the loaded silence that follows, “the Professor is seriously, like, one of the funniest people I know.”

Felix snatches up one of the wooden practice swords and throws it at him.

*

Dimitri pushes the food around on his plate slowly, doing his utmost to appear too preoccupied to notice how beside him, Felix is a ball of radiating fury. He knows what the Professor’s intentions are, inviting them both to dinner like this, and while Dimitri appreciates the sentiment, he knows this is never, ever going to work.

Case in point—

“Are you going to eat, or just spend the evening scraping your fork against your plate?” Felix snaps, clearly having no trouble with being annoyed at anything Dimitri might be doing at any point in time.

“My apologies,” Dimitri says, his hand stilling. At least Felix is addressing him directly, which he supposes is one tiny step forward. He hadn’t wanted to look at Dimitri at all earlier in the Combat Room.

Totally unaffected by the atmosphere of their table everyone else in the cafeteria has opted to give an extremely wide berth, Byleth dabs delicately at their mouth with a napkin. “Relax, both of you. This is just a dinner.”

Dimitri can _feel_ Felix’s scorn. “How was the teleconference, Professor?” he asks, trying to steer the subject into hopefully neutral territory.

“It went well, actually,” Byleth answers, sounding pleased. “Rodrigue’s trip to Garreg Mach will turn out to be very lucrative for us, I believe.”

Dimitri sits up a little straighter. “Really?”

“You sent my old man to the monastery?” Felix asks beside him, his voice stiff.

Byleth nods. “Yes, though he made a few stops across Faerghus and Leicester as well. We can’t rely entirely on Claude’s goodwill and efforts to scrape together funding, and being old nobility, your house has plenty of connections across the realm. We decided Rodrigue was our best choice as an envoy.”

Felix doesn’t have a comment in response to that, but Dimitri’s not surprised. Their relationship hadn’t been the only broken one when Felix left the Shatterdome five years ago; when Byleth finally tracked down Felix’s location to the coastal wall just a week ago, Rodrigue had been just as surprised as the rest of them.

“So Lady Rhea is willing to lend us aid?” Dimitri asks.

He wishes, not for the first time, to be privy to the teleconferences Byleth holds. Even though the Shatterdome is located in Faerghus, and relatively close to Fhirdiad at that, they’ve always strived to maintain complete neutrality when it comes to being represented by any one nation. Even Dimitri himself, crown prince and heir to the throne of Faerghus, technically loses his royal status while he’s on Shatterdome grounds and holds no authority other than what he’s been promoted to within the Jaeger program’s ranks, and a Jaeger pilot has no business sitting in on LOCCENT Command’s meetings with other Fódlan leaders.

It was a system originally designed in the interest of keeping Fódlan’s three countries working together in harmony against the very real threat of enormous monsters crawling up out of a deep sea trench a hundred miles off the coast of northern Faerghus. The very first Kaiju had come ashore one day in the Gautier fiefdom without warning, completely destroying three separate villages and tearing across nearly thirty miles of countryside. It had finally been brought down by a battalion of mages, but only after 95% of them had been wiped out.

A year later, the second Kaiju had made landfall further south, somehow miraculously narrowly missing Fhirdiad but rampaging across the entire continent, trampling several other villages on its way, straight into Leicester Bay. It’d swum across the bay and destroyed half of Derdriu before again being taken down by a battalion of wyvern riders at great cost and heavy loss. That had been the kickstart to the Jaeger program being formed, leaders from all three countries agreeing regular armies were not enough to take on this new, monstrous threat. A Jaeger had been funded, designed, built, and put to the test only a few short months later when the next Kaiju had emerged from the sea.

That very first Jaeger, piloted by a father-child duo, mercenaries recruited for their notoriety of working seamlessly together, took out the next Kaiju before it even got close to shore. The funding for more Jaegers to be built had been gathered overnight, and the rest is history.

Since then there have been hundreds of Kaiju attacks over the years, but none have ever gotten as far as Leicester again, and so far none of them have made landfall in Adrestian territory; Faerghus has taken the brunt of the attacks on account of being the closest to the trench where the Kaiju seem to be originating from, according to their scrying mages. It had been one of the reasons Edelgard had given Dimitri before she’d left the Shatterdome along with the rest of her countrymen.

“This had seemed like the only option at the time, when our armies could barely stand against a threat like a Kaiju,” El had said, standing in the doorway to Dimitri’s quarters. “And now the Jaegers have fended off the worst of the attacks. Only 15% of Kaiju even make landfall these days, and even when they do, it’s not for long. Between your efforts here, and the coastal wall being built, I think Faerghus has a handle on things.”

“Is that so,” Dimitri had answered, at the time unable to put into proper words what kind of betrayal this felt like.

The Shatterdome and the Jaeger program were supposed to be a joint effort, a united front between all three countries of Fódlan. But with the Leicester Alliance already grown lax at their distance from the frontlines, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise Edelgard too would seek to withdraw. It’s rare enough a Kaiju heads south enough to hit the Kleiman peninsula, so what does the Adrestian Empire, so much further south than that, have to worry about?

“We’re not totally abandoning you, Dimitri,” El said, correctly interpreting whatever expression his face was making. “If things get out of hand, we’ll return at once to lend aid. But sitting here waiting, day in and day out, when we have our own domestic matters to attend to, is not sustainable.”

“I understand,” Dimitri said, because what else was there to say, and that had been that.

Only once has he allowed himself the luxury of wondering what his father would have done, if Dimitri has failed in some fundamental way where his father would have not in keeping Fódlan united for this crucial cause.

“More than willing,” Byleth confirms in the present, drawing Dimitri back to the dinner table from his brooding thoughts. “She’s sending an allocation of rations that should keep us going for another couple months through the winter, but she’s also sending a Jaeger and two pilots.”

“The Church has a Jaeger?” Felix asks, skeptical and suspicious all at once.

Dimitri can’t help but somewhat echo his sentiments. The Garreg Mach monastery has always provided aid relief to those areas devastated by Kaiju attacks, but otherwise the Church has maintained an aloof distance from the Jaeger program. As the monastery itself sits in the near perfect center of the entire continent of Fódlan in the Oghma Mountains, the Church hardly has to worry about a Kaiju making its way onto their turf.

“Apparently so,” Byleth says blithely. “The Knights of Seiros are their own army. Is it so surprising they’ve ramped up their technology to match what Faerghus and the Empire can build?”

“Professor,” Dimitri says, shocked, “you say that as if they think we’ll use the Jaegers for war one day.”

“I don’t speak for the Church,” Byleth reminds him, “I’m only offering you a guess as to how the Church came to possess a Jaeger. Either way, it’s a boon for us for now. We can use all the numbers we can get, Jaeger-wise, if our final offensive is to be successful.”

“What _is_ this final offensive?” Felix asks. Out of the corner of his eye, Dimitri sees him fold his arms where he sits. “You keep talking like you have a plan to actually stop the Kaiju for good.”

Byleth gives one of their small smiles. “That’s actually what I wanted to go over with you and fill you in on. We do.”

Felix makes a noise of disbelief. “How?”

Dimitri waits for Byleth to explain, until he realizes Byleth is looking at him expectantly. “Oh—well, our mages have pinpointed the exact location where the Kaiju are emerging from the deep sea trench,” he begins, not daring to look over and address Felix directly. “We’ve taken to calling it the breach. They say it’s like a giant portal of some kind. It opens to another dimension, according to the team. But that’s where the Kaiju are coming out.”

“So you want to close the breach.” When Dimitri chances a glance sideways, Felix too keeps his gaze straight ahead rather than face Dimitri. What a pair they must make from the Professor’s point of view, Dimitri thinks in chagrin. “But I take it the magic’s too powerful for the mages to close the portal at this distance.”

“Correct,” Dimitri confirms. “Even if we chartered a ship and sailed out to sea to the point above the trench, it’s still too far down for the mages to reach effectively. The trench is miles deep. So we’ll have to close it with Jaegers.”

“How’s that supposed to work?”

“We’re going to bomb the breach with as much firepower as we can muster,” Byleth says calmly. “I have a team that’s been working on modifying the nuclear engines we built to power the Jaegers over the past few years. If they’re successful, and they’re getting close, we’ll be able to carry at least three of them—four, once we get you into a cockpit—with Jaegers down to the breach and detonate them inside the portal.”

“The force from the explosion should be enough to disrupt the magic holding the portal open, and collapse the breach for good,” Dimitri adds. “Then we won’t have Kaiju coming up at all ever again. The fight will be over.” Faerghus, and the rest of Fódlan, will be safe.

Felix is silent as he absorbs this. Dimitri knows what it sounds like—it’s crazy, a last-ditch effort hatched out of sheer desperation. The fact of the matter is the Shatterdome and the Jaeger program are operating on their very last legs, as both funding and support dries up. While he’s here on the coast serving as a Jaeger pilot, his uncle Rufus acts as regent back in Fhirdiad and he sends Dimitri weekly missives, detailing the state of the country and summarizing the daily council meetings and other affairs he attends in Dimitri’s stead.

The general population of Faerghus still views Jaegers as necessary and pilots on par with knights, if not even greater in valor and heroics, but just like the nobles in the Leicester Alliance, the Faerghus nobility is also beginning to slowly but surely sour on the drain of finances the program takes to run. They look more favorably towards the coastal wall project, which while also massively expensive, at least has a finite price tag. The Jaeger program is ongoing and there’s no end to the expenses.

It’s frustrating. Dimitri wants to believe in the coastal wall too, but it’s already proven to be nothing more than a sham: a Category III Kaiju ripped through it last week. At the rate they’re going, Category VI Kaiju are becoming more and more common and it’s only a matter of time, Seiros forbid, a Category V Kaiju emerges. The attacks are happening closer and closer together, only days in between each event whereas before they used to have months.

As Faerghus’ next king, it’s his duty to ensure his people are safe. Dimitri wants all the citizens of Faerghus to be _guaranteed_ safe, not safe only until the wall gives out. The Jaegers aren’t always a perfect guarantee either, but at least they’re more proactive than a barrier already knocked down once.

But if the Professor’s plan works, and they can end this once and for all…

“Ridiculous,” Felix says in that cutting tone Dimitri knows so well. But he doesn’t get up and leave. “Are you certain it will work?”

“We’re still smoothing out the finer details,” Byleth says. “In the meantime, you should concentrate on preparing to pilot again. It’s been a few years since you’ve trained.”

Felix scoffs. “As if I’d let up on my sword training.”

Byleth smiles again, and Dimitri has to force himself to take a bite of his dinner to keep from smiling too at the wash of overwhelming fondness for Felix he has. “I thought you might say that,” Byleth says, amused, “but you’ve still never drifted before. We’ll work on that tomorrow.”

“I’m ready,” Felix says firmly, confident but not boastful. “As soon as we determine who my copilot is, we can do a test run.”

“Felix,” Byleth says gently, “we already know who your match is going to be.”

Felix stands up abruptly, and if Dimitri weren’t still sitting on their shared bench he thinks it would topple over. “I’m not drifting with _him_ ,” he says through his teeth, low and angry. “I’m _never_ drifting with him.” He turns and walks away, striding through the cafeteria and ignoring all the watching eyes from the other people dining.

Dimitri gives into the temptation of twisting where he sits to watch him go for a moment, eyes tracing across Felix’s proud, stiff shoulders until he’s marched out of the cafeteria and is gone from view. When he turns back around, Byleth is watching him in turn appraisingly.

“Dimitri,” they say slowly, “why is Felix so angry with you?”

Dimitri sighs. He owes the Professor his honesty, at the very least. “It’s not for the reason you, or everyone else, for that matter, think.”

“Glenn,” the Professor supplies gently, and Dimitri nods.

“I suppose he may be angry with me about that,” Dimitri says quietly, “but I suspect it has more to do with something else. I...said some very terrible things to him in the aftermath, Professor, which is why I think he left in the first place.”

“That doesn’t sound like you,” Byleth offers, and Dimitri shakes his head.

“Dedue believes it wasn’t my fault either, as I was still reeling from the incident myself,” he admits, “but I know better. At the time, I knew exactly what I was saying. I meant every word.”

“And now?” Byleth prompts.

Dimitri offers them a faint, half-smile. “Regret, of course. Whether I was in my right mind or not, or what my intentions were, are no excuse. I hurt Felix terribly, and I’d like to make amends. In any way I can. In any way he’ll let me.” Not just for the sake of stopping the Kaiju and saving Faerghus, but also because Dimitri _misses_ Felix, so terribly.

Byleth examines him thoughtfully for a moment longer. “Well,” they say finally, “as I’m sure you know, what’s true for Felix is true for you as well. He’s your match, Dimitri. If anyone can find a way to talk to him, it’s you.”

“Yes, I suppose you’re right.”

“I am.” Byleth smiles, rising gracefully from their seat. “I’ll see you tomorrow in the Combat Room. I trust by then you’ll know what you need to do.”

Find a way to talk to him, Dimitri thinks once the Professor has left, alone at the dinner table with a plate of food he cannot taste. Talking to Felix used to be easy as breathing, in their youth, and all during their training as recruits—they were each other’s constant companions, never far from each other’s side. It used to be Dimitri would imagine he could practically read Felix’s mind, sometimes, even without yet having the intimate connection of the drift. But now…

Felix may as well be as remote as the stars, permanently out of reach, for all Dimitri can be certain.


	3. Chapter 3

Felix reports to the medical ward first thing in the morning so Manuela can give him a full physical and update his records, as they’re now five years out of date. She’s just as overwhelmingly chatty and flirtatious as ever, but Felix is somewhat glad she can uphold an entire conversation by herself as she takes his measurements and doesn’t actually require any input from him aside from single-syllable answers to her chart questions.

He leaves the ward knowing far too much information about her failed dating life he didn’t want to know in the first place, but at least he won’t have to go back for any of the results; she promises to track him down if any of his tests come back strange. Felix knows they won’t.

He’s making his way back down the hallway to the elevator when he passes by an open doorway and catches sight of Dedue inside out of the corner of his eye, surprised enough by the sight of him to stop.

“What the hell happened to you?” he asks, coming to stand in the doorway. He’d thought it was odd not to see Dedue following Dimitri around like a shadow, but no one had mentioned he was completely bedridden with what looks like half of his body in a cast.

“Ah, good morning, Felix,” Dedue greets him in his level, serious voice. He has a tray of breakfast in front of him where he sits propped up with pillows, but he carefully sets his fork down. “I was pleased to hear you chose to return to the Shatterdome.”

“Did you fall off a Jaeger?” Felix asks, ignoring the pleasantries. “Or did one step on you?” It looks like Dedue’s entire left side of his body has been crushed.

“Not quite,” Dedue answers, a hint of wryness entering his tone. He studies Felix for a moment, deliberate as always. “I see they have not told you. Why don’t you sit,” he says, gesturing to the plastic chair beside his bed with his unbroken arm.

Suspiciously, Felix stalks across the room and takes a seat. “Told me what,” he says, folding his arms.

“You are aware, of course, how Jaeger pilot recruits are chosen,” Dedue says. “All candidates must be Crest bearers.”

Everyone knows this. “Yes, because of how Jaegers are built and how they operate. Only Crest bearers can handle the strain, both mentally and physically, thanks to the extra boost Crests give.” It’s why there’s always been a shortage of pilots, as while Crest bearers aren’t rare, they’re not exactly common. The high mortality rate of Jaeger pilots doesn’t help either.

“Correct,” Dedue says with a nod. “Within the past year, however, the Professor has granted the research and development department permission to look into creating a way to allow non-Crest bearers to pilot. A desperate notion, of course, but you have seen how our numbers have dwindled. We needed more pilots.”

“It’s impossible, though,” Felix says, brow furrowed. “The magic strain would be too much.” Crests are power incarnate, and the Jaegers run on nuclear levels of magic. The pilots’ Crests are what help channel that energy to keep the pilots from being wholly consumed and burned from the inside out on power.

“Yes, that is what they reconfirmed,” Dedue agrees. “However, they discovered it would be possible for a Crest bearer to support a non-Crest bearer in the drift without fatality, if that Crest bearer were exceptionally strong. I’m sure you understand where this is going.”

Felix does. The Blaiddyd strength is all but legendary, passed down generation after generation through the bloodline of their house Crest. Dimitri himself used to break all manner of objects by accident in their youth before he learned better how to control his own strength. If any Crest bearer were capable of keeping a stable drift with a non-Crest bearer while piloting a Jaeger, it would be him.

“You and him,” Felix says, and Dedue inclines his head.

“Yes, His Highness and I,” he answers calmly, correctly interpreting who Felix means. “When it was determined His Highness was potentially strong enough to be able to pilot with a non-Crest bearer, I volunteered. After, of course, it was determined we were a suitable enough match for the drift.”

Felix isn’t entirely surprised Dimitri and Dedue are drift compatible. Dedue had come to the Shatterdome after his homeland Duscur had been wiped out completely by the only Kaiju that’s ever made a trajectory south enough to hit the region it used to be. It had been in the earlier days of the Jaeger program, when response times were still slow, and the Jaegers that day had arrived far too late to do anything but kill the Kaiju after it had already destroyed everything. Felix has never asked, but he imagines Dedue must be one of the only few survivors. He’d certainly arrived at the Shatterdome with nothing but the clothes on his back.

With no Crest of his own, Dedue couldn’t become a pilot. Felix had only been a recruit at the time, and a young one at that, but he dimly recalls none of the people in charge quite knowing what to do with him. It had been Dimitri who had taken Dedue under his wing, accepting him into the fold and helping secure Dedue the training he needed to become an engineer to at least help work on the Jaegers, if not pilot them. As a result, Dedue seemed to think he owed Dimitri some kind of life debt, perhaps for giving him a chance.

“This makes you uncomfortable,” Dedue observes. “Does it bother you that I am drift compatible with Dimitri?”

“No,” Felix snaps, narrowing his eyes, “why would it?”

“I see,” Dedue says placidly, “my mistake.”

“So you offered yourself up as a human test subject,” Felix says, gesturing at him. “Clearly it didn’t work.”

“On the contrary, the system was quite successful,” Dedue replies. “I do not believe anyone other than His Highness would be able to shoulder the strain of holding the drift steady with a non-Crest bearer, but he and I were able to establish a neural handshake and a solid drift.”

“And?” Felix says, raising his eyebrows, because obviously something went wrong.

“Are you aware His Highness had not piloted a Jaeger for five years until our experiment?” Dedue asks, throwing Felix off for a moment.

“No,” he says. Jaeger victories are broadcast all over the news every time they take down a Kaiju, of course, but it’s not like Felix has ever paid close attention to which pilots were being lauded as heroes week in and week out. He’s only ever kept an ear out for when a report comes in that a pilot’s been killed in action, and dreading it because he always recognizes the name.

Admittedly, it may also be why he hasn’t found it suspicious the media _hasn’t_ been pumping out nauseating levels of patriotism all this time about the crown prince personally piloting a Jaeger to save the country.

Why Dimitri hasn’t drifted in five years isn’t hard to guess, of course, but it’s still...surprising, on top of being downright infuriating.

“What made him change his mind,” Felix says, looking hard at Dedue’s shoulder.

“His Highness was reluctant at first to return to piloting,” Dedue admits, and Felix scoffs, “but he recognized the necessity. As I said before, our numbers had dwindled. The thought process was if he and I could provide one more battle-ready pilot team and Jaeger out in the field, it would be to our advantage.”

Felix swallows down his anger. “So let me guess,” he says tersely, “your test drive was successful at first, but then Dimitri had a meltdown.”

“His Highness cannot be entirely blamed for what occurred,” Dedue begins, and Felix snorts.

“You would say that.”

“His Highness carries a great deal of trauma in his head from five years ago,” Dedue continues calmly as if Felix has not interrupted, “but he held the serenity of the drift with remarkable ease. However, when it came time to face the Kaiju—”

“Wait a moment, they sent you on a mission?” Felix demands. “I thought this was just a test drive for your little experiment?”

“In a perfect world, perhaps we would have had the luxury of time for multiple tests before going out into the field,” Dedue says, “but that is not the case. As it so happened, a Kaiju was detected emerging from the breach while we were running our very first test. Since His Highness and I were already hooked into our Jaeger and drifting steadily, the Professor made the call to send us out ahead while the other teams were rallied.”

“And you just went along with this?” Felix asks scornfully.

“It was His Highness’ wish, and so it was mine as well.”

“Pathetic,” Felix says in disgust. “Charging off into a fight _neither_ of you were prepared for—”

“Neither of us thought of that, at the time,” Dedue says unflinchingly, “all that mattered to us was protecting Faerghus.”

“Well it doesn’t matter at all if you wind up _dead_ in the process,” Felix snaps.

“I see. Do you feel that way because of—”

“None of your fucking business,” Felix growls, and Dedue inclines his head again.

“Of course, it is not. I apologize.” He pauses, but Felix doesn’t say anything more. “We confronted the Kaiju. It was a Category IV, a very formidable foe. At first we were able to hold our own, but then at one point during the fight, it managed to get behind us. It attacked us from behind, and threw us off our balance, and I believe that is when His Highness was overcome with traumatic memories he may have been keeping suppressed until that point.”

“He chased the rabbit,” Felix says. During pilot training, recruits are taught that to form a steady, stable drift, pilots must keep their minds clear and free of thoughts, and especially of memories. Byleth had taught them that Random Access Brain Impulse Triggers, or R.A.B.I.T. for short, are the occurrences where one pilot latches onto a memory, be it their own or one inadvertently absorbed from their partner through their mind link. The slang _chasing the rabbit_ became commonly used throughout the program to describe pilots who become trapped in a memory and risk disrupting the drift.

“Yes,” Dedue says solemnly. “His Highness was rendered incapable of continuing the fight, and our neural handshake was beginning to dissolve. Under these conditions, it was impossible for us to continue fighting back against the Kaiju despite how it was still attacking us.”

“How long did it take for the others to get there.”

“Lamine Crusher arrived after seven minutes, and the Kaiju was defeated in another three.”

“You’re lucky you’re still alive,” Felix says flatly.

“Yes, I am aware,” Dedue acknowledges. “My injuries are also temporary. In time, and with physical therapy, I will heal. His Highness will never regain his right eye.”

Felix doesn’t have anything to say to that. At least it solves the mystery of Dimitri’s eyepatch. It’s a permanent fixture, then, not a temporary one. It also explains why the Professor tracked him down, since this little experiment to find Dimitri a different partner ended in utter failure. He doubts any other non-Crest bearers are going to be lining up to get into the Conn-Pod with Dimitri any time soon after that whole display.

It doesn’t mean Felix is going to drift with him either, though.

He pushes himself to his feet, and addresses the air above Dedue’s head. “Glad you’re not dead.”

Dedue cracks a smile, a fissure across his stony face. “Thank you.”

“Be seeing you.”

“Felix.” He stops in the doorway when Dedue calls his name, but he doesn’t turn back around. “Dimitri is very glad you came back.”

Felix snorts. “You’ve been in his head,” he says, loudly enough for his voice to carry back down the hall as he walks away, “so you know that’s a lie.”

*

“Dimitri, you shouldn’t have!” Lysithea says delightedly, and then snatches the plate bearing the piece of cake out of his hands. “Ooh, and it’s chocolate, too!”

“I thought you might enjoy a break,” Dimitri says with a small chuckle, following her back into the lab as she winds her way through the plexiglass displays churning out readings and tables loaded with stacks of paper and various instruments Dimitri has no name for.

“Don’t trip on that cable,” she calls over her shoulder, and Dimitri steps over said cable just in time where it snakes between the table legs on the ground. Where it leads to, or what it connects to, he can’t even tell in the dim light.

“Thank you,” he says. “I considered bringing something for Marianne too, but I assume—?”

“Eh, she’s in the back, I haven’t seen her all morning,” Lysithea says dismissively, hopping up onto a stool in front of one of the main displays and digging into her slice of cake eagerly. Lit up by the glow of the monitor behind her, she looks like a specter.

“I thought as much,” Dimitri says, slightly amused. Marianne has a tendency to get caught up in her research, and when she is, it’s best not to disturb or interrupt her. “Please encourage her to take a meal sometime today.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll check on her at some point.” Lysithea jabs her fork at him. “So what do you want, hm?”

“I wanted to see how your progress was coming,” Dimitri admits, leaning back against one of the lab tables, “but it’s alright if you don’t have much to report.”

“Well, we’re still watching the breach,” Lysithea says, lifting one shoulder in a shrug. She swivels around, flicking her hand across the wide screen behind her, and the image flickers, changing from a long string of numbers and magic runes to a three-dimensional render of the trench at the bottom of the sea. “No activity today, but another event should be coming soon.”

“It’s only been a week since the last Kaiju emerged,” Dimitri says, dismayed.

“I know. But Marianne seems to think soon we’ll be seeing Kaiju every five days. Then every three days. Then every other day. Then every day. Then—well, you get the point.”

“Multiple Kaiju in one day,” Dimitri says grimly, and Lysithea nods.

“And they’ll only keep getting more and more powerful, too. Eventually you guys will be fighting off multiple Category V’s at a time, at this rate.”

“We cannot allow things to come to that,” Dimitri says. They won’t survive it.

“I know. That’s why the Professor came up with their plan, excetera excetera,” Lysithea says, swiping the screen again, “but something about that portal really bugs me.”

“What about it?” Dimitri asks. The display now shows a rendering of the portal itself, a wide mouth in the bottom of the trench glowing with magic.

“Well, for one thing, what if we get down there and blow up the portal only for it to reappear?” Lysithea says, gesturing at the screen. “Look, I’m a mage. I know how magic works, and all magic has to have a source. It doesn’t just come from nowhere. That portal, and whatever kind of magic it is, had to be cast by _someone_. So what if we blow it up, and whoever it is just opens a new one?”

“We’ll have wasted resources and time for nothing,” Dimitri says, a cold pit forming in his stomach. He hadn’t considered this before, but everything she’s saying makes absolute sense.

“Maybe, maybe not,” Lysithea says, shrugging again. “That’s why I’m trying to narrow down what kind of magic the portal is made out of. I’ve never seen anything like it before. But if I can figure that out, maybe I can find a way to trace it back to its source.”

“Is it worth even carrying out the mission until you do?”

Lysithea considers, popping the last bite of cake into her mouth and chewing. “Hard to say. Closing the portal might buy us some time, at the very least. Unless whoever made it is able to open a new one like that.” She snaps her fingers.

“I see.” Dimitri watches the glow of the screen for a long moment, thinking. “Have you told the Professor all of this?”

“More or less, yes.”

“Very well.” If the Professor knows about this potential setback and hasn’t called the mission off, then they must have decided it was still worth it. Dimitri will have to trust in them and follow their lead. Byleth’s gotten them all this far, at the very least.

“Don’t look so grim, Dimitri,” Lysithea advises him. “I’m going to figure this weird magic out, and you all are going to blow up the breach. Everything’s going to work out.”

Dimitri musters up a smile in amusement. “You’re very positive.”

“Of course I am,” Lysithea says, spinning around on her stool lazily. “I think it’s important we all maintain a positive outlook and do what we can. Each time we find the light in the dark, we grow, bit by bit. And without growth, what’s the point in carrying on?”

“That’s very wise,” Dimitri says softly. “I’ll have to remember that.”

“Yes, you should,” Lysithea says primly, but she grins at him. “You could also remember to bring me cake more often, this was very nice. It’s such a _long_ walk down to the cafeteria.”

“I’ll be sure to,” Dimitri promises gravely, and she laughs. “Will you send for me if you make any progress or find anything out?”

“You and the Professor will be the first to know,” she assures him. “I’ll even let you know if Marianne stumbles across anything more insightful from her samples.”

“You have my thanks, Lysithea.”

She flaps a hand at him. “Like I said, we’re just doing our part. We wouldn’t be here if we didn’t believe in the cause and want to help.”

“It means a lot, coming from you, seeing as you’re from Leicester.” Even from the start, the Alliance’s governing body has always staunchly refused to allow its citizens to be trained as Jaeger pilots, maintaining that their funding support for the program was enough, and that after the enormous losses in Derdriu, no more Alliance blood was to be shed. Alliance citizens are still free to volunteer themselves to work at the Shatterdome in other ways, however, as engineers or techs, or as in Lysithea’s case, mage scientists.

Lysithea shrugs. “The way I see it, we can’t simply afford to let Faerghus fall. If the Kaiju trample this country, they’re just going to keep coming until they’ve destroyed the rest of the continent. Derdriu’s already been hit once before, which is something the nobility back home like to pretend to forget until convenient.”

Dimitri chuckles quietly. “One day I’d love to have you as an ambassador.”

“Ew,” Lysithea says, making a face, and then they laugh together.

“Well, I’ll leave you to your analysis,” Dimitri says, glancing at the time display in the bottom corner of her monitor. He doesn’t want to show up right on time, but once things have gotten started, it’ll be easier to slip in the back.

“Oh, got somewhere to be?” Lysithea asks, kicking her feet absently, her legs too short to reach the ground.

“Yes,” Dimitri says, “I’m sure you heard Felix is back.”

“I might’ve heard something along those lines,” Lysithea muses, leaning back against her desk. “That prickly jerk hasn’t even come by to say hello to me yet.”

“I’m certain he doesn’t mean anything by it,” Dimitri says diplomatically and Lysithea rolls her eyes, unimpressed.

“The Professor’s trying to set him up with a drifting partner, aren’t they,” she says instead, tapping her fingers on the edge of the desk idly. “You’d better get down to the Combat Room. Remind everybody—Felix included—just how high those old compatibility scores are.”

“Have you been digging around in the archive files?” Dimitri asks, and she tosses her hair.

“I’m a little nosy sometimes,” she says, “what can I say? And anyway, we need the best teams we can possibly build if the Professor’s mission is going to be successful. That includes you and Mr. Lone Wolf.”

Lone wolf, Dimitri thinks. Felix certainly had been on his own for five years, but that’s no one’s fault but Dimitri’s. He knows what he has to do.

“Thank you for your candor,” he says to Lysithea before he turns to go, and she laughs.

“Remember,” she calls after him, “we grow, and we carry on!”

*

It comes as no surprise to find the Kwoon Combat Room slowly becoming packed with onlookers as Felix goes through a few light warmups on the sparring mat, space along the walls filling in quickly as they wait for Byleth to arrive. Felix himself used to come to the pilot pairing matches as a recruit, telling himself he wanted to learn from the different fighting styles sure to be on display, but secretly also interested in seeing who would end up matching with who.

The shared joy of two pilots finding their match, their _equal_ , in one another, was something he once envied deeply. He used to imagine…

It doesn’t matter anymore.

“Looking sharp, pal,” Sylvain calls over to him after Felix has moved through a more complex drill, his voice filtering in above the rest of the murmuring of the waiting crowd. He leans back against the wall, arms folded behind his head.

Felix gives him a derisive look. “Why are you here,” he says, though he knows Sylvain wouldn’t be able to resist coming to heckle him.

“Are you kidding,” Sylvain says incredulously, proving Felix right, “like I’d miss this? My little Fee, whooping the shit out of people?”

“I had to stop him from bringing popcorn,” Ingrid says from beside him, shaking her head, while Sylvain grins.

“Aw, I would’ve shared.”

“Don’t call me that,” Felix says to him, and then turns his back to them both and runs through another exercise, wooden practice blade flashing through the air. Dimly, he notes Annette and Mercedes trickling into the room together as more and more people squeeze into what little available space left there is to watch. Aside from his four friends, nearly all of everyone else are techs or engineers, easily identifiable by their work clothes. There are barely any pilot recruits wearing their training uniforms.

As he runs through his warmups, he concentrates on emptying his thoughts and achieving inner focus. He pushes the conversation with Dedue out of his mind, and all of the troubling evidence of just how desperate and dire the Jaeger program has gotten. All there is is the next sequence in his drill form, nothing else.

The Combat Room has just about reached bursting capacity when Byleth arrives, striding through the crowd to take up position on the instructor’s platform. A hush falls, the murmuring lowering to a hum, and Felix does one last stretch before pivoting to face the Professor.

“Are you ready, Felix?” they ask, and Felix nods his head once, twirling his sword. “Good. First up is Lucas.”

A man steps up onto the mat, one of the few recruits, holding a wooden practice sword of his own. He’s around Felix’s age, maybe a year or two younger. “Well met,” he says, taking up a ready position.

“Well met,” Felix returns, mirroring him. Lucas holds his left elbow a fraction lower than he should. It will be an easy weakness to exploit.

“Begin,” Byleth says, and Felix lunges.

Less than three seconds later, Lucas is on the floor and his practice sword is skittering across the mat out of reach while the crowd murmurs. Felix looks over his shoulder at the Professor, eyes narrowed, but Byleth merely blinks their wide eyes at him.

“Next is Marsilia.”

A couple people dart forward to help Lucas up, walking him off the mat, and a woman steps up. She twirls a lance in her hands, and her ready stance is much more solid as she and Felix face off.

“Hi,” she says, “you won’t knock me over so easily.”

“We’ll see,” Felix says, drawing his sword back.

“Begin,” Byleth says, and Marsilia lunges.

Felix sidesteps her like she’s moving in slow motion, giving her a hard tap on the shoulder with his sword as she hurtles past. “One-zero.”

She whips around, bringing the tip of her lance around to strike, but Felix knocks the lance aside with a sweeping blow, darting beneath her reach and jabbing at her sternum.

“Two-zero.”

The crowd murmurs as they both back off from each other, circling. Felix is already bored with this fight. She’s no match for him. As she readies herself for another strike, Felix darts forward and leaps up to slam a foot down on the shaft of her lance, smashing it to the floor with a loud _crack_ while leveling his sword tip at her throat.

“You’re dead,” he says, and she scowls.

“That’s enough,” Byleth says calmly, and Felix withdraws, turning around to glare at them again as the crowd breaks into light applause.

“Is anyone here really worth my time or not?” he demands. “I was under the impression your list was people who actually had a chance of being compatible with me.”

“Charming as ever,” Sylvain calls with his hands cupped around his mouth.

“Yes, I handpicked the list myself,” Byleth answers, unruffled. “Next is—”

“Me.”

Felix whirls around as Dimitri steps onto the mat, grip tightening reflexively on the hilt of his sword. “I said no,” he says, low and dangerous, glaring at Dimitri as he comes to a stop in front of Felix.

Dimitri plants the shaft of his lance on the floor—of course, lances were always his preferred weapon back when they were recruits. Standing where he does, thanks to his height, Felix has to tilt his head back slightly to look up at him and he _hates_ it.

“Why not, Felix,” Dimitri says quietly, though the room is dead silent now. His single eye is locked on Felix’s face and Felix has to consciously will himself not to look away, or show any sign of weakness.

“I thought you made that clear yourself,” Felix grits out, glowering up at him, and something flickers in Dimitri’s eye.

“Begin,” Byleth says, and Felix’s brief satisfaction crashes to a halt.

“We’re not—” he begins, but Dimitri is already attacking.

He may be built like a brick shithouse, but Dimitri is fast. Felix has to jolt backwards across the mat to avoid being flattened, but Dimitri just keeps on coming. Gripping his sword with both hands, Felix meets Dimitri’s lance with a crash of wood on wood, the impact sending a jarring shockwave all the way up through his elbows to his shoulders, but he leans into it and forces Dimitri back.

They move back and forth across the mat, Felix trying to slip in past the long reach of Dimitri’s lance while Dimitri determinedly keeps him at bay and attempts to land a hit of his own. When Felix does finally swipe Dimitri’s lance aside, launching himself forward, Dimitri just barely manages to swing his lance back around just in time to block Felix’s sword with the shaft, inches from his chest.

“Good,” he huffs out, panting. There’s sweat on his brow and some of his hair is beginning to fall loose from his ponytail, pale blond strands sticking out wildly.

“Fuck you,” Felix snarls, equally out of breath, and twirls his wrist to unlock their weapons and darts out of reach as Dimitri tries to smash him in the shoulder.

It’s another long minute of back and forth before Felix finally lands a hit on Dimitri’s ribs, literally dropping down into a crouch to avoid another sweep of his lance before exploding upwards to nail him. The room explodes into applause, and Felix backs off, panting but smug.

He looks back over at Byleth, expecting them to call it and stop wasting his time, but they merely say, “One-zero.”

Gritting his teeth, Felix turns just in time to block a jab from Dimitri, knocking his lance tip aside with perhaps a little more vigor than necessary.

They spend another minute chasing each other in circles around the mat, sometimes on the offense, sometimes on the defense, exchanging a flurry of blows. Felix employs everything in his arsenal trying to get another hit on Dimitri and end this farce, but Dimitri ends up landing the next blow, sliding the head of his lance directly under Felix’s sword arm and up beneath his shoulder in a motion that, were this a real fight, he could have used to run Felix through.

“One-one,” Dimitri says, pulling back to the sound of more applause, and Felix bares his teeth.

The next time they clash, Felix loses all pretense of form. The motions are there, drilled into him through hours upon hours of repetition, but he’s no longer thinking about where his feet are or what direction his body is moving in. All that matters is Dimitri, his enemy, and Felix relies on pure instinct and rote memory to carry him as he attacks, defends, and counterattacks, every iota of his focus on landing the next hit before Dimitri does.

His chance comes in the form of Dimitri moving to thrust at him again, planting his feet wide and shoving his lance forward with both arms. Felix slams his sword against the shaft and presses down, sprinting forward and dragging his sword along the full length of the lance until he reaches Dimitri, swinging his sword forward into Dimitri’s shoulder.

“Two-one,” he says with a sneer, barely aware of the cheering crowd this time.

“Clever,” Dimitri answers, sounding almost amused, and then sweeps his lance sideways into Felix’s ribs. “Two-two.”

“Cheap,” Felix spits, batting his lance away and resisting the urge to massage his aching side as they back away from each other for a moment’s respite. If anything, he’s more annoyed at himself for not being fast enough to block it than he is at Dimitri for taking such an easy shot.

“What do you think, Sylvain,” Dimitri asks, spinning his lance lazily in his hands and without taking his eye off Felix.

“You both look hot,” Sylvain calls back, and a few people in the crowd giggle as Ingrid elbows him.

“Sounds like the point stands,” Dimitri says blithely to Felix, and Felix takes a moment to wonder who the fuck _this_ Dimitri is compared to the sad, pathetic one at dinner last night. It’s like this fight has breathed new life into him.

He doesn’t bother with a retort, adjusting his grip and lunging forward to pick up the battle once more and bring it to an end. Dimitri is ready for him, lance smashing into Felix’s blade, and they exchange another wild flurry of blows on the spot, reinvigorated by the short moment of catching their breaths. Dimitri’s defense is nearly absolute, the shaft of his lance always just barely enough in the way of Felix’s sword, but Felix’s blade is an extension of himself. Dimitri can’t get past him like this.

Dimitri tries to hit him with a quick jab, aiming low this time for his stomach, but Felix coils the muscles in his legs and jumps, flipping up into the air and spinning over the shaft of Dimitri’s lance like a pole vault. It misses him by millimeters, and Dimitri’s too surprised by the move to react in time when Felix lands on his feet in front of him and shoves his blade up against his throat.

“Three-two.”

The crowd breaks into an outright roar this time, Sylvain letting out an ear-splitting wolf whistle while everyone cheers and stomps their feet, going wild. Felix pulls away from Dimitri once more and saunters backwards, giving his sword a lazy twirl.

Dimitri’s actually smiling, lifting one hand to push his hair briefly back from his face, and the sight of him gives Felix pause. “That was an excellent move.”

“I don’t need compliments from you,” Felix snaps, glaring at him, but if anything, Dimitri’s smile only grows softer, more private, like they’re sharing something secret between them.

They’re _not._

“One more point to finish this?” Dimitri says, readying his lance, and Felix mirrors him with his sword.

“It’s already over,” he says, and charges.

Their blows are heavier now, both of them putting their full strength into every swing as they come at each other. Felix can feel every hit vibrating up his arms, shaking his entire body, but he gives it right back to Dimitri, at one point forcing him off balance completely, nearly knocking him backwards off his feet. He thinks this will be his chance to land his last hit, but Dimitri recovers in time to nearly send Felix sprawling in turn, and he has to back off before he’s sent tumbling.

At one point Felix swings his sword up to block another heavy downward swing of Dimitri’s lance, only for the wooden blade to shatter in his hands on impact, splintering like kindling. He reels backwards, furious, but Dimitri merely roars, “Give him another one!”

Annette pulls out another wooden sword from the stockpile and tosses it to Felix, and he catches it with ease. “You should have just hit me,” he snarls, lunging forward, and the force of their weapons meeting makes his teeth rattle.

They spend another long minute chasing each other in dizzying circles again, and Felix can feel himself tiring. Dimitri must be tiring too, as this has been a long fight even by Felix’s standards, but neither of them slows down, coming at each other again and again. Felix refuses to give in. He won’t lose here, and he won’t think about how aggravating it is Dimitri’s the one giving him the best fight he’s had in years.

But in the end, Dimitri’s bullheadedness outweighs his own.

Felix knocks Dimitri’s lance aside one last time, intending to use the opening to leap forward and end this, but Dimitri turns the motion into a wide swing, lance tip arcing around in the air in a large circle, returning low to catch Felix in the shins and sweep his feet out from beneath him before he can try to jump over it. Felix hits the ground hard, landing on his back as all the air momentarily rushes out of his lungs and the back of his head bounces on the mat.

For a moment, Felix is too winded to react, half-stunned where he lies while the crowd erupts again into cheering and clapping. Now that it’s over, his adrenaline high from the fight wearing down, he’s exhausted, every inch of him aching. He can only lie still, panting and looking up at the bright fluorescent ceiling lights overhead.

Then Dimitri fills his vision, blocking out the light as he looms over Felix. He’s close, _too close_ as he kneels down over Felix, his expression intent but unreadable. He bends down over Felix further, practically covering Felix entirely with his body, and Felix should sit up, push him away, snap at him to get back, but all he can do is lie there wearily and look up at Dimitri.

Gently, Dimitri’s fingertips come to rest beneath Felix’s chin, holding him there deftly for a long, suspended moment, and Felix wants badly to look away, look anywhere but at that single, piercing blue eye looking down at him with an intensity he doesn’t understand, yet somehow he can’t. They lock gazes, breathing together, in and out, in and out, and Felix has so much he could say right at the tip of his tongue, starting with what the fuck Dimitri thinks he’s doing, but he bites it all back, holding the words locked behind his teeth.

Dimitri’s eye flickers down to Felix’s lips, as if he can sense it.

And with the break in eye contact, the spell is broken. Dimitri lets go of his chin, only to grasp him by the forearm instead, and pulls Felix up to his feet as he rises. Felix has no choice but to go with the motion, though as soon as he’s standing he shakes Dimitri off, regaining his balance on his own. The moment that passed between them on the ground could have only lasted seconds, but it feels like it was an eternity, and Felix feels oddly exposed as he straightens his clothes, his practice sword left discarded at his feet.

“Three-three,” Byleth says calmly, their voice carrying over the excited chattering of the crowd. “I think we’ve seen enough here today.”

Felix can’t even muster up the energy to glare at them. His entire body aches. If there really was anyone else left on the Professor’s list, they’re not going to come forward now. Why would they bother, after the little show Dimitri’s put on to prove his point?

The only thing is, Felix doesn’t understand _why._

“I don’t want you in my head,” Felix says to Dimitri as people begin to trickle out of the Combat Room now that the show is over, but the two of them might as well be in their own private bubble of two for all he takes notice.

“I know,” Dimitri tells him, somewhat ruefully. He looks tired too, leaning against his lance like it’s the only thing keeping him upright. “We don’t have a choice.”

“Funny,” Felix says coldly, “I thought you already made up your mind about us five years ago.”

Dimitri winces. “Felix, I—”

“Shut up,” Felix tells him, bristling with fury, and Dimitri shuts his mouth.

A hand falls on Felix’s shoulder. “I’d like you to report to the Drivesuit Room in Bay 3 at 1300 hours,” Byleth says, their luminous eyes trained on Felix’s face. “Can you do that?”

_Will you do that_ is the real, unspoken question, Felix knows. There’s no denying Dimitri is his match. They were compatible five years ago and they’re still compatible now, for all that it stings.

There’s also no denying Dimitri is right in that they don’t have a choice—if they’re going to carry out the final, decisive mission to the breach where the Kaiju are emerging from, Felix is going to have to get into the cockpit of a Jaeger with Dimitri and drift with him.

Unless he walks away, just like he did five years ago. But back then, Dimitri told him to go. He made it perfectly clear Felix wasn’t welcome here.

This time he’s watching Felix intently, like he’s hoping for nothing else but for Felix to stay.

Felix doesn’t _understand._

“I’ll be there,” Felix says without looking at either of them, and walks away before he can see what kind of expression Dimitri makes in answer.


	4. Chapter 4

Leaning with both hands braced against the cold metal bar of the railing, Dimitri looks out across the hangar bay at the Jaeger towering within the crisscrossing scaffolding. At this height, he’s directly level with the vast machine’s shoulders, headless for now as the Conn-Pod won’t be connected until it drops down from the Drivesuit Room above.

All the repairs are done, and there aren’t any engineers or technicians crawling over the body of the Jaeger doing last-minute checks. Far down below, Dimitri can hear people starting to gather on the ground floor level, interested in watching the calibration test run. He wonders how many of them expect it to go well, or how many of them are expecting it to end in a disaster.

He hears footsteps approach from behind him, but he doesn’t turn around. “I’ll be up shortly,” he says, expecting the Professor looking for him. He’s not late yet and needs a minute or two more to gather himself and rein in his thoughts.

“I can’t believe they saved that piece of junk,” Felix says disparagingly as he comes up to stand beside the railing several feet away, and Dimitri whips his head over to look at him in surprise.

“Oh, Felix,” he says, straightening, “I didn’t realize it was you.”

“The Professor mentioned it’s been under repair until now,” Felix says, ignoring him and keeping his eyes focused on the Jaeger. “You and Dedue piloted it together, didn’t you.”

“Ah,” Dimitri says, chagrinned, “you spoke to Dedue.”

Felix finally turns to look at him, glaring. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“Yes,” Dimitri admits, ducking his head, “perhaps I deserve such a title after everything I’ve done.”

“Spare me the self pity act,” Felix says harshly, “and give me one good reason why I should let you into my head and copilot with you.”

Dimitri lifts his head. Felix stands with his arms folded, face turned away from Dimitri and glaring off at the Jaeger again. _Their_ Jaeger. Areadbhar Aegis was piloted before them by both of their fathers, constructed specifically for the king and his right hand man. In its massive right hand, Areadbhar Aegis carries a 437-foot-long lance, its head viciously curved and glinting brightly in the floodlights trained on the Jaeger. Its left hand, resting down at its side and empty for now, is capable of conjuring a massive shield.

Perhaps it had been foolish beyond comparison to attempt to pilot Areadbhar Aegis with Dedue. It’s a Jaeger made for a Blaiddyd and a Fraldarius.

“Dedue told me you hadn’t piloted in five years until your little experiment,” Felix says, his voice low and angry in the silence. “Do you remember what you said to me then?”

“Yes,” Dimitri says, miserable. “I was—”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Felix cuts him off coldly. “I just wanted to be sure.”

“I remember,” Dimitri says heavily. He’d been wrong, so _wrong_ , and he wants Felix to know it. But he can’t force Felix to listen.

“You still haven’t give me any reason why I should believe you’re not going to get me killed like you almost did Dedue.”

 _Like you did Glenn,_ Dimitri can imagine him saying. The omission hangs heavily between them, a gaping, open wound. It’s had five years to try to heal, but to Dimitri it’s still as raw as if it happened yesterday. “When Glenn died, we were in the drift. We were still connected. Our minds were still melded into one. I felt every moment of his death as if it were happening to me as well.”

Felix doesn’t say anything to that. Dimitri can’t tell if he’s still angry, or upset at the mention of his brother. He can’t tell at all what Felix is thinking.

“I was unprepared, when Dedue and I drifted,” Dimitri says quietly. “I’ve carried Glenn’s death with me in my head every day for five years, so perhaps I should have known better. I cannot give you a definitive answer as to whether or not it will happen again.”

“Good answer,” Felix says flatly. His arms are still folded, but the tension in his shoulders has relaxed by a degree or two. “If you’d lied and said you had it all under control, I’d kill you myself.”

Dimitri almost wants to smile, but he’s not sure if that’s allowed yet. Instead he says, “I know what’s at stake.” His mind may be a weakened, broken thing, but he can still carry out this mission. He _will_ carry out the mission, for all the people of Faerghus and the rest of Fódlan.

“Don’t be stupid,” Felix says, and he still won’t look at Dimitri but Dimitri knows an eyeroll when he hears one. “You’re not the only one who knows.”

“Of course,” Dimitri says. Everyone in the Shatterdome knows it, or else they wouldn’t still be here. “Felix.”

Felix holds out a few extra moments longer, but finally he turns his head begrudgingly to look at Dimitri. His eyes are molten gold, illuminated by the glow of the floodlights and piercing as he stares Dimitri down. For all that he holds himself remote and aloof, pointed at Dimitri like a knife, Dimitri can’t help but want to reach out to him. He knows it would be unwelcome.

“Thank you for coming back.”

For a split second, something utterly devastating flickers across Felix’s face, and had not Dimitri been watching him so closely he would have missed it entirely. “I didn’t come back for _you_.”

“I know,” Dimitri says, “I know. But you came anyway, despite...despite me.”

Felix’s eyes snap away and it’s like having a light turned off without warning. He stalks away without another word, leaving Dimitri standing on the balcony overlooking their Jaeger.

Alone, Dimitri scrubs a hand over his face wearily, massaging his eye. At least Felix stomps up the stairs leading into the Drivesuit Room, rather than walking into the elevator to leave entirely. The Professor had seemed so certain at dinner last night Dimitri would find a way to talk to Felix. At this rate it’s only a matter of time before Dimitri ends up driving him away. Again.

He gives Felix another minute or so of a head start, and then follows in his wake up the metal stairs to the Drivesuit room. He can hear voices already coming from the left chamber, so that must be where Felix is, and Dimitri veers towards the chamber on the right side. As soon as he steps foot inside, he’s immediately swarmed by a team of Drivesuit technicians, moving together as one in a well-practiced routine to get him outfitted in his Drivesuit.

“Greetings, Your Highness,” one of the technicians says as he helps Dimitri step into the circuitry suit, fingers deftly adjusting the malleable bodysuit to Dimitri’s frame.

“Good afternoon, everyone,” Dimitri says politely, trying to hold still and not shiver as the synaptic processor mesh begins to pulse as if it’s alive, reading the impulses of his body and muscles. Once Dimitri’s hooked into his Jaeger, his circuitry suit will relay the impulses directly to the Jaeger, as fast as his brain can generate them. It also interfaces directly with his Crest, and will maintain a magical feedback loop between himself, his copilot, and the Jaeger in perfect equilibrium.

The circuitry of the suit allows the pilot to feel everything the Jaeger does; it even transmits pain signals to the pilot's nervous system when Jaegers sustain damage. Though the pain is dulled, the engineers and mages who originally designed the suit considered this to be the best possible way to minimize reaction times and fight properly while using machines as tall as buildings to fight giant monsters from the sea.

“Hold out your arms, please,” another technician says, and Dimitri obeys as they begin to fit the second layer of the Drivesuit onto him—the battle armor. Made from polycarbonate, the battle armor fits around Dimitri’s circuitry suit like a shell, containing life support and magnetic interfaces at his spine, feet, and all major limb joints.

The technicians are taking their time today, checking over the creases and folds of Dimitri’s armor more thoroughly than they would in a real battle scenario. The whole process, including launch of the Jaeger itself, is supposed to take less than seven minutes, which is the average time it takes for a Kaiju to fully emerge from the breach.

“Brace yourself,” a technician advises him, and then Dimitri feels the jolt of the spinal clamp being inserted into the back of his Drivesuit, its nodules attaching to the vertebra of his spinal cord. When he’s hooked up to his Jaeger’s Conn-Pod system, his spinal clamp will connect his spine not only to the Jaeger’s spine, but to Felix’s spine as well. “How’s it feel?”

“All good,” Dimitri reports, twisting his hips a little back and forth. It’s not an unpleasant feeling, but it will feel infinitely better once he’s hooked into Areadbhar Aegis. It won’t feel as if he has a gaping hole in his back; he’ll be _connected_.

Byleth steps into the room. “You’re not as pale as last time,” they remark, accepting a helmet from one of the technicians as they depart, finished with their job for now.

“Please, Professor,” Dimitri says with a weak laugh, “I’m not sure if I’m up for your jokes today.”

Byleth smiles gently, holding the helmet out to him. “You’ll be fine, Dimitri,” they say as he accepts it, turning it slowly around in his hands. “We’ve come this far.”

Dimitri thinks of Lysithea’s practical optimism. “Yes, we have.”

“I know you’re already aware of this, but I wanted to give you a reminder,” Byleth continues. “This will be Felix’s very first time drifting for real, outside of the practice simulators. You only have two drifts more than him under your belt, but you at least know what it feels like and what to expect. When you’re in there, I want you to walk him through it.”

“If he’ll let me,” Dimitri begins, imagining how little Felix will care for Dimitri’s direction, but Byleth shakes their head.

“Do it anyway.”

“Very well,” Dimitri says, taking a deep breath, in and out.

“This is just a test,” Byleth says, “we won’t even be launching you into the ocean for maneuvering today like we did with Dedue. I have Sylvain and Ingrid on standby to be ready for combat if we get an alarm while this is going on.”

“Alright,” Dimitri says, breathing out once more. “Thank you.”

“We need this to work,” Byleth reminds him, but they’re still gentle. “Felix wouldn’t still be here if he wasn’t willing to try this with you.”

“You’re right,” Dimitri admits, giving them a slight smile, “as always, Professor.”

Byleth smiles back. “I’ll be up in LOCCENT.”

“Then I’ll hear from you shortly,” Dimitri says, and Byleth nods before leaving, disappearing back the way they came in.

Dimitri exits the room from the opposite way, moving forward through a short hallway and stepping through the hatch at the end and into the Conn-Pod. Felix is already inside, standing with his helmet tucked under one arm and examining the control panel in front of the Drivesuit connectors. The Drivesuits leave little to the imagination when it comes to the shape of someone’s body, and Dimitri can’t help the treacherous, traitorous thought of how _good_ Felix looks in his.

“Which side would you prefer?” he asks, and Felix looks up quickly, like he’d been so absorbed he hadn’t heard Dimitri come in.

“I’ll take the left,” he says after a moment, eyes darting away again, and moves over to the left side of the Conn-Pod.

“Very well.” Dimitri steps into the right side, fitting his boots down into the clamps that will lock his feet into place. Two technicians duck into the Conn-Pod and help lower the apparatus that will serve as their physical connection to the Jaeger and each other. Dimitri feels it drill into his back, and there’s a jolt as it connects to his spinal clamp, while on his right, one of the technicians hooks his arm into the rig, giving him control of Areadbhar Aegis’ right side. Another cable connects to the back of his helmet, hooking him into the Conn-Pod’s life support system and giving him a steady supply of oxygen.

The technician helping hook Felix into the left side of Areadbhar Aegis finishes as well, and Dimitri waits until they’ve both left and the hatch to the Conn-Pod has slammed shut before he speaks.

“I’m sure you remember the practice simulations,” he says. In a way, he likes having Felix to his left because he can still see him out of the corner of his eye; if Felix was to his right, he’d be out of sight unless Dimitri turned his head. “None of them can really fully prepare you for the first drift.”

“I know,” Felix says, but he doesn’t sound as biting as usual. He slips his helmet on, and Dimitri does the same, the clear visor panel in the front framing his face.

“It’s going to be a rush of thoughts,” Dimitri says, “and at first, it’s overwhelming. You have to fight to stay afloat.”

“I know not to chase the rabbit,” Felix says tersely, and Dimitri nods.

“Yes,” he agrees. “Don’t latch onto anything. Let it all flow by you. Don’t try to make sense of the noise, you’ll just be dragged down.”

“Okay,” Felix says, and Dimitri can see his jaw clench. “Dimitri.”

“Yes?” Dimitri turns his head to look at him full-on rather than just from the side.

“No matter what you hear or see in my head,” Felix says, staring straight ahead at the darkened landscape camera screen in front of them, “you should know that I still hate you.”

“Ah,” Dimitri says softly, “I see.”

“Alriiiiight you two,” Hilda’s voice comes to life through the communicators built into the helmets. Hailing from the Leicester Alliance, she’s been a chief officer in LOCCENT for the past five years, recommended to the position by Claude personally. “All systems are in the green, so let’s get this show on the road, shall we? Prepare for Relay Gel in three...two...one...yum yum!”

A viscous, yellow liquid floods Dimitri’s helmet, filling up around his face and flowing into his mouth and nose for a split second. It’s a knee-jerk reaction to want to gag, and dimly Dimitri hears Felix sputter, but it’s over in a flash, draining out the bottom of his helmet and disappearing back into his circuitry suit. The gel is like a Concoction on steroids, developed to relay the electrical impulses of his brain to Felix’s, which will allow them to move in perfect synchronicity.

Already Dimitri is... _aware_ of Felix. When Felix experimentally lifts his left arm, flexing it against the rig, Dimitri feels the motion too, like an extension of himself, and lifts his left arm as well, mirroring him exactly. Dimitri shifts his weight between one foot and the other, swaying just a little, and Felix moves with him, perfectly in step. They’re in sync.

“I’ve always wanted to see what that gel tastes like,” Hilda remarks.

“Focus, Hilda,” Byleth’s voice says calmly into the comm.

“Aye aye, Professor,” Hilda says cheerily, completely unabashed, and Dimitri feels the Conn-Pod shudder. “Pilot-to-pilot connection is engaged. Brace for the drop.”

The Conn-Pod drops, straight down like an elevator that’s had its cables cut. Dimitri bends his knees and braces for the impact, which comes a second later, the Conn-Podd juddering to a halt as it makes connection with Areadbhar Aegis’ main body. It locks into place with a series of loud mechanical crunches as the machinery melds itself together.

A low hum fills the Conn-Pod as the Jaeger’s systems come online. Dimitri’s control panels light up, situated in front of him and to his immediate right, all within easy reach while he’s locked into place. The heads up displays flicker on, giving them a nearly 360-degree view of their surroundings on the outside of the Jaeger; not that there’s much to see, as they’re only in the hangar. It’s an odd sensation, knowing physically his right eye is gone, and yet still having such a wide range of view on the screen in front of them because of Felix’s vision being compounded with his own thanks to the Pons system inside their helmets; it allows them both to "see" what the Jaeger does through its interface and allows them to pick up telemetry from whichever of the sensors, built into the outside of the Jaeger, are in the direction they happen to look.

“Areadbhar Aegis connection is steady,” Hilda announces over the channel. “Pilot vitals are steady. Ready to initiate neural handshake and Crest activation on your mark, Professor.”

“Felix?” Byleth asks.

“I’m ready,” Felix confirms, his voice steady.

“Dimitri?”

“Ready,” Dimitri echoes.

“Neural handshake in three...two...one...now.”

When Dimitri drifted with Dedue, melding their minds felt like an electric shock. With Felix, it’s like being struck by lightning.

Instantly his vision goes white, the Conn-Pod and the display screen obliterated from view as his mind scrambles. Memories that are not his own yet are intimately familiar anyway swirl around him, their shared childhood echoing between them in flashes—running through the long halls of the royal palace—one of Felix’s boots slipping into the creek behind the Fraldarius manor they used cross by hopping across the rocks—their first horseback riding lesson at the royal stables—a sleepover, one of hundreds, curled beneath the sheets of Dimitri’s wide bed with a flashlight and pouring over a picture book detailing the adventures of Kyphon and Loog—

Felix’s utter _adoration_ , crashing into Dimitri like a wave, every single memory woven together with a childhood crush accelerating into more as the years flicker by and _oh_ , if only Felix could see how Dimitri felt-feels in return—

Dimitri forces himself back from the vortex of memories, letting them swirl around him like a gust of wind but no longer looking at them head-on. He comes back to himself, physically in the present, slowly but surely, his vision clearing as his mind stabilizes and the drift settles like a pond after a rock’s been dropped into the center. Calm. Calm.

“—neural handshake is nice and steady,” Hilda is saying in his ear, supremely satisfied. “And strong, too. How are we feeling, boys?”

“I’m good,” Dimitri reports, though he still feels slightly off-kilter.

“I’m fine,” Felix says half a moment later, his voice slightly hoarse. Dimitri can _feel_ him thinking, thoughts flashing lightning-quick as they both restabilize. It’s like an extra awareness, tacked onto how Dimitri is already aware of Felix to begin with.

Dimitri doesn’t need their minds to be melded for a large portion of his brain to be centered on Felix, _Felix-Felix-Felix_ , as he’s spent the better part of everyday thinking about Felix, even when he was gone; is he safe, is he well, does he think of m—

 _Stop it,_ Felix thinks, loud and clear though there’s a faint tremor between them, one Dimitri can feel him desperately trying to quell.

 _I can’t help it,_ Dimitri thinks back helplessly, because everything’s been amplified a thousand times over, a _million_ times over, with their minds connected. All of Dimitri’s regard for Felix is right here for Felix to feel, every thought Dimitri’s ever had about Felix right here for Felix to see. There’s no hiding in the drift, everything ripped open wide and on display.

Felix still tries, though, because of course he does. _Stay back_ , he snaps, pulling back as far as he can from Dimitri’s consciousness, as if he means to keep Dimitri blocked out of his head even while they’re connected. Dimitri can feel Felix’s agitation, his _anxiety_ , and of course. Of course.

 _I’m not going to take your thoughts from you,_ Dimitri thinks gently, not reaching out to the brilliant brightness of Felix’s mind on the horizon of his own. _I know I don’t deserve to know your thoughts, but if we’re to do this, you have to let me in._

 _I hate you,_ Felix thinks angrily, and Dimitri thinks of the childhood crush and utter adoration he was just flooded with when they first connected, and understands.

 _I know,_ he thinks softly, and Felix answers with another flash of anger but then his thoughts flow back into Dimitri like the tide, unstoppable and inevitable, and Dimitri nearly drowns in Felix’s broken heart.

“Everything okay down there?” Hilda’s voice is saying in Dimitri’s ear when he floats back to himself, and her tone suggests it’s possibly not the first time she’s asked this. “The neural handshake is still strong and steady, Professor, but they’re being awfully quiet and I’m detecting no motion.”

“Give them time,” Byleth says calmly. “Let them adjust.”

“Don’t say a word,” Felix growls through gritted teeth, and Dimitri can feel how tightly his hands are clenched.

“I won’t,” Dimitri says, even though there are so many things he could.

“There you are!” Hilda says brightly. “Are we done working out our angst?”

“Hilda,” Byleth says to her reprovingly, but their tone is mild. “Felix, Dimitri, are you both okay to continue?”

“Yes,” Dimitri says, looking across at Felix.

Felix looks back at him. His anger is still there, but he’s calming, reassured—begrudgingly—by how Dimitri’s remaining calm and not causing a scene by what they’re reading from each other’s minds. “Yes,” he says, holding Dimitri’s gaze unflinchingly even while through the drift Dimitri can hear his instincts screaming at him to look away.

It’s so purely _Felix_ , contradictory despite himself, that Dimitri marvels at how he didn’t see it before. It’s so obvious, in hindsight, especially now that he’s privy to every single one of Felix’s thoughts and memories, but all the same Dimitri can’t believe he didn’t realize it sooner. He should have known Felix even without the drift.

 _We’re going to talk after this,_ Dimitri thinks at him, and Felix’s lip curls back in a snarl.

 _Fuck off,_ he says, turning his head away at last, _I have nothing to say to you._

 _Well,_ Dimitri thinks, mostly to himself but he knows Felix will hear him whether he wants to or not, _I have some things to say to **you.**_

“Excellent,” Byleth says, unaware of their silent exchange that had only taken a fraction of a second this time. “Let’s go through some basic motions, then, at your leisure.”

Areadbhar Aegis doesn’t have a mind of its own, but Dimitri can feel the Jaeger waiting, in a sense; a vast presence just on the edge of his consciousness not as tangible as Felix’s mind. He knows without asking Felix can feel it too, and wordlessly they reach out together with their intent as one, willing the giant machine to move, all three of them together as one, his Blaiddyd Crest and Felix’s Fraldarius Crest blazing.

Dimitri and Felix lift their right arms, extending them out into the empty air of the Conn-Pod in front of them in perfect sync, and Areadbhar Aegis does the same, brandishing its lance out into the main hangar. Instinctively Dimitri wants to give it a twirl, but Felix immediately cuts him off— _there’s no room, idiot_ —so they settle for spinning the shaft in their hands, the deadly tip twisting into a blur, and the watching crowd below applauds.

“Very nice,” Byleth says neutrally, likely watching the readings from their neural handshake like a hawk. “How’s everything feel?”

“Fluid,” Dimitri reports as they revert back to their original stance. He can feel the lance in his hand, even though Areadbhar Aegis is the one holding it. There’s a slight resistance to push against when they move, but that’s to be expected when one is moving several thousand tons of metal robot.

“All diagnostics reporting back green,” Hilda reports. “Your weapons are all fully charged too, but do us a favor and don’t test them out right now.”

“Felix, I’m sending you an input command sequence,” Byleth says, and a moment later the hologram monitor on Felix’s side lights up with the incoming message. Dimitri reads it through Felix’s eyes. “Give it a try.”

Felix makes a considering sound out loud as he realizes what it is. “I see,” he says aloud, tapping the sequence into his control board, and together they lift their and Areadbhar Aegis’ left arm.

A wide shield extends out of the sides of the Jaeger’s forearm, enormous metal plates sliding out in the blink of an eye. Felix swings his arm up in front of himself, Dimitri and Areadbhar Aegis’ arm following suit, and brings the shield up in defensive position, flexing his arm a little to test the weight and give. Dimitri uses his right arm to move Areadbhar Aegis’ lance up to a defensive position as well, the shaft of the lance resting lightly against the side of the shield with the tip pointing forward through the air at an invisible enemy, and he and Felix bend their knees together instinctively into a loose crouch, as if they’re ready to leap into action at any moment.

“Excellent,” Byleth says again as far below, Dimitri can hear the crowd clapping appreciatively. “The shield’s not entirely a new addition, Felix, but we have increased the width and made it bigger. It’s added some weight and might slow you down a tad, but we wanted to give Areadbhar Aegis a little more defensive power.”

Dimitri swallows. “Thank you, Professor.” He knows the modified shield isn’t just for Felix—it’s for his peace of mind too, knowing his copilot will be well-protected this time around.

“It was Ashe who came up with the new design,” Byleth says, and Dimitri can hear the small smile in their voice.

“I’ll remember to thank him too.”

“What’s next?” Felix asks flatly, and Dimitri can feel rather than see his projected eyeroll.

“Why don’t you try—” Byleth starts to say, but then there’s a small pause before they continue, “Ah, Rodrigue, welcome back.”

Instantly, Felix’s thoughts take on a poisonous tone, blackening like storm clouds over the sea. “He’s back,” he mutters, and Dimitri has to blink to remember the anger isn’t his own.

“Yes, it’s Dimitri and Felix,” Byleth says, and Rodrigue must say something in reply because then they go, “Yes, everything’s running smoothly. The neural handshake is steady and the drift is strong.”

“Dimitri,” Rodrigue’s voice comes through their headsets a moment later, after someone must have gotten him a communicator, “Felix. I’m so proud to see you both in a Conn-Pod together.”

“Thank you,” Dimitri says politely, keeping his voice light while Felix’s stewing anger only pitches deeper. It’s jarring to juggle both emotions at once without sounding strained. “I’m glad you’re back—I heard your trip was a success?”

“Yes, my meeting with Rhea went very well,” Rodrigue confirms, “and we can expect the Church’s Jaeger to arrive within the next day or so. It’s quite formidable, she allowed me a glimpse of it before I left. But with you two piloting together...ah, it brings back memories.”

“Cut the shit,” Felix snaps, reaching his boiling point. “This isn’t some happy little reunion.”

“Felix,” Rodrigue says, “I merely mean to say it’s a happy day for Faerghus to once again have a Blaiddyd and a Fraldarius drifting together to pilot a Jaeger.”

Dimitri wouldn’t even need to be mind-melded with Felix to know this is the exact wrong thing to say. “Because that’s all that matters, isn’t it,” Felix snarls, and a tremor runs through the drift, the shockwave buffeting Dimitri and making him flinch. “You don’t care about anything except our family’s history with the royal line—”

“This is about Glenn, isn’t it,” Rodrigue says gravely, and at the mention of his brother’s name, Felix’s rage goes white-hot and Dimitri is slammed with another quake in the drift.

“ _What else would it be about!_ ” Felix shouts, a jagged strike of lightning lancing through the drift, and Dimitri’s head swims. Something gives a lurch.

“Whoa, hold on!” Hilda says, alarmed, but her voice sounds distant and far away. “Professor, the drift is unstable! The neural handshake is starting to break down!”

“Felix,” Dimitri mumbles, struggling to reorder his thoughts. A memory blooms between them, unbidden, dragged forth by the mention of Glenn: it’s Dimitri’s, because he can’t help but think of Glenn, the very last time he ever saw him alive, right before—

“No,” Felix chokes out, or maybe Dimitri does, or maybe they both do together. Areadbhar Aegis lurches again, and Dimitri can taste saltwater in his mouth, and Byleth is saying something but their voice is so far away—

“ _Felix_ ,” Dimitri says, pulling himself back out of the memory with monumental effort. The taste of saltwater goes away. His vision clears, and the Conn-Pod comes back into view again, no longer obscured by memory, but when he looks across at Felix, Felix has gone ramrod straight where he’s locked into the rig, staring up at nothing with wide eyes as the memory consumes him. “Felix! Felix! It’s not real! It’s just a memory!”

“Professor, he’s chasing the rabbit,” Hilda says tensely.

“I know,” Byleth says, still calm. “Dimitri, you have to get him to let it go.”

“I’m trying,” Dimitri answers, aware of how helpless it sounds. He tries to reach over for Felix, but he’s locked in the rig too, and he can’t reach him unless Felix were to reach back. “Felix!”

The drift is quaking continuously now, making it hard to hold onto. Dimitri’s vision keeps splitting, giving him a strange, distorted view of what he can see—the real, physical world, where Felix stands stiff as a board in place where he’s trapped—and what Felix is seeing in Dimitri’s memory: another Conn-Pod, nearly similar in design, swamped with seawater as it starts to sink after the Jaeger it belonged to was torn in half by a Kaiju.

“Come on, Dimitri,” Glenn says, overlaid in the memory on top of Felix’s place, and Dimitri jerks in place, recoiling. “You have to unhook yourself and get into the escape pod, alright? You go first, I’ll hold it steady and then I’ll follow. Can you do that?”

“No,” Dimitri says numbly, because he’s seen this play out so many times now. Then he remembers. “Felix, you have to let g—”

“Yes you can,” Glenn says, because he’s just a memory and has no way to react to Dimitri’s change in script. “Don’t be scared. The Kaiju isn't going to go after an escape pod. It won’t even notice you, I promise.”

“Felix, _please,_ ” Dimitri begs, spotting him at last. He’s hard to make out in the dim, emergency lighting of the Conn-Pod in the memory, standing just past Glenn and off to the side like an observing specter. He stares at his brother, frozen in abject horror, so caught up in the memory he doesn’t even react to Dimitri at all. “Felix, you don’t want to see this, you’re chasing the rabbit, you have to let it go!”

The Conn-Pod shakes, followed by an ear-splitting screech of tearing metal. More alarms blare. Glenn whips his head back around to Dimitri. “Dimitri, you have to go now!” he shouts, and the Conn-Pod rattles violently, the whole world shaking. Outside the Kaiju roars, and Dimitri feels terror straight down to the marrow of his bones.

Then everything falls eerily still. It’s just for a split second, but it hangs for a small eternity as he and Glenn look at each other, suspended in time.

Glenn opens his mouth. “Tell Felix I—”

The Kaiju tears through the hull of the Conn-Pod, ripping open a gaping hole. Its jaws flash down, and in a single, bloody crunch, Glenn is gone.

Dimitri and Felix _scream._

Dimitri’s still screaming when he’s kicked out of the memory as the drift shatters completely, thrown back into reality. Several people are yelling his and Felix’s names, their voices a confusing jumble in his ears as he struggles to reorient himself and pull his thoughts back together into one place, his brain jumbled and confused.

“—cuate the room! Evacuate the room! Run!”

Gasping for air like he’s sprinted for miles, Dimitri blinks his vision back into some semblance of order and looks over. Across from him in the rig, Felix is still frozen in place, only he’s lifted his left arm up into the air, aimed directly for the exact spot the Kaiju tore a hole in the Conn-Pod in Dimitri’s memory.

Areadbhar Aegis’ left arm is raised too, its hand cannon fully charged and ready to fire, directly at what’s currently in front of them: LOCCENT Mission Control.

“Felix!” Dimitri lunges for him automatically, only to slam ineffectively against the rig, still locked in place. Fumbling with the controls, he scrambles for the release. Felix doesn’t react, eyes still wide and unseeing, heedless of the tear tracks down his cheeks. He’s still locked in the memory, trapped in the horrors of the past. “Felix, come back! Come back! Don’t shoot!”

Finally he frees himself, and Dimitri staggers forward, ripping off his helmet. He slams his hand on Felix’s control panel, dialing down the hand cannon until it’s powered down completely, and then hits the release on Felix’s Drivesuit as well, unhooking him from the rig. Felix’s legs fold immediately, and Dimitri catches him before he can collapse, lowering him down to the ground as Areadbhar Aegis powers down around them.

“It was just a memory,” Dimitri says, dimly aware his own face is wet with tears too. He pulls Felix’s helmet off as well, tossing it aside. “Come back to me, Fee.”

Felix’s eyes remain blank for a moment longer, but then he blinks, shaking in Dimitri’s grip as he comes back to reality. As soon as he realizes where he is, he jolts, flinching back, but Dimitri stops him from struggling away or rocketing up to his feet.

“Don’t move yet,” he says, his voice ragged and raw. “It’s alright. Just breathe.” He swallows. “I’m sorry. It’s my fault.”

“No,” Felix says. His voice sounds like it’s been torn out of his throat. He’s still shaking, and his eyes are still impossibly wide. “It’s mine.”

Dimitri swallows again. It hurts, his throat like sandpaper. “I’m sorry anyway. I never wanted you to see that.” He’s never wanted Felix to know every excruciating detail of his brother’s death, what it feels like to have been in Glenn’s head when a Kaiju’s teeth tore him apart. Dimitri’s lived with it in his head for five years now, and he’d never wish it on anyone. Least of all Felix.

Felix pushes him away, and this time Dimitri lets him, rocking back on his heels as Felix turns his back to him, hunched over his legs in a tight ball. His hair is loose and almost falling out of its tie completely, matted down with sweat.

“Are you two okay in there?” Byleth’s voice comes through the commlink in Felix’s helmet nearby, their voice tinny. “Status?”

Dimitri picks up the helmet, lifting it to speak closer to the mic. “Yes, we’re both okay.” His voice sounds wooden. “No injuries.”

“Good. Stand by, we’ll get a crew up to you to get you out.”

“Understood,” Dimitri says, and then after a pause, he adds, “I’m sorry, Professor.”

“Don’t be,” they advise him calmly, “we expected something like this might happen, given your history and the circumstances. Just sit tight. We can discuss this after you’ve both decompressed.”

Dimitri lowers the helmet slowly, setting it back down on the floor. Felix is motionless where he sits, head lowered, and Dimitri wants very badly to reach out to him again but knows it would be unwise to, now more than ever.

“At least no one was hurt,” he offers into the heavy silence, because he knows Felix would never forgive himself if he’d really blasted a shot off straight into LOCCENT or the Shatterdome. Dimitri would never forgive _himself_ if he hadn’t stopped Felix in time, relieved he’d been able to prevent him from doing the unthinkable; not just for the sake of their friends, but for Felix himself. Dimitri doesn’t want him to have that kind of burden.

“Dimitri,” Felix says in a hollow, bone-tired voice Dimitri feels echoed in every line of his own body, “just shut up.”


	5. Chapter 5

Surprisingly, no one has much of anything to say to Felix, negative or otherwise, after the little show in the hangar that put on display just how much of a mess he and Dimitri are and just how little help they’ll be when it comes to saving Faerghus. He doesn’t earn so much as a single snide remark when he goes down to the cafeteria later that evening only long enough to grab a tray of food, ignoring Annette and Mercedes trying to wave him over to their table, and everyone he passes on the way back to his quarters hardly spares him a glance.

Perhaps it’s not so surprising. By now everyone must know the Church is sending a Jaeger and two pilots from Garreg Mach, so it’s of little consequence if he and Dimitri won’t be of any use. They still have Lamine Crusher and Daphnel Ruin to rely on in the meantime. There’s no use dwelling on two pilots who have failed when there are far more important things to worry about.

Felix can feel the ghost of teeth closing down on him in Glenn’s place.

He doesn’t sleep well that night.

As soon as it’s early enough to be considered morning, Felix gets up and makes his way down to the bowels of the Shatterdome. There are plenty of people already awake, technicians and engineers always on the go with the nearly endless list of repairs and problems to solve, but just like last night no one spares Felix a second glance as he slips past them all. He winds his way through the lower levels of the base, through a rusty door and a dark, narrow staircase until he emerges out onto a wide platform that hangs precariously out from the cliffside the Shatterdome sits on top of, only a few yards above the waves crashing into the rocks below.

The wind is cold and biting but Felix welcomes the feel of it, harsh against his cheeks as he makes his way across the thin, metal grating serving as the platform’s floor over to the railing. The noise of the waves hitting the jagged rocks below is loud, a huge rush of energy crashing against the cliffside, the water white and frothing as it churns, some of the spray almost reaching Felix where he stands. There’s no sign of any life, not even birds, though Felix can’t imagine how anything could survive in such inhospitable conditions.

He stays leaning against the railing looking out far across the horizon as more and more light trickles into the sky. He can feel the cold seeping in through his clothes but he doesn’t move, letting it soak down to his bones and thinking of nothing at all, letting the wind whip at him as if it really could scour bits of him away.

Sylvain tracks him down, because he’s always had an uncanny ability to find him. “Seiros, it’s fucking freezing down here,” he says, clattering across the platform to join Felix at the railing. “Thought you might be out here. This is where Dimitri used to lurk endlessly, you know, after what happened.”

Felix only glances at him briefly. “Why are you here,” he says, not in the mood for a round of teasing about yesterday.

“What even is this platform for?” Sylvain wonders, ignoring him. He leans his elbows on the railing. “Observation deck for Jaeger launches maybe? It’s kind of a weird angle but I guess you could catch them from behind.”

“Ask Annette.” The Shatterdome sits on land graciously donated back to the crown by Baron Dominic, after all, as his territory borders the ocean right where it was most strategic to place the Shatterdome. The Baron and his household had also overseen its construction, and Felix remembers Annette knowing a lot of shortcuts back in their trainee days.

“Yeah, good idea,” Sylvain says agreeably, and he’s using the pleasant sort of voice Felix knows he always uses when he’s about to swoop down for the kill. “So. Yesterday sucked.”

Felix whirls to face him, glaring. “If you came down here to mock me—”

“I didn’t,” Sylvain cuts him off, holding up a hand, and Felix stops. “I came down here to check on you, because after I checked on Dimitri, he explained that you relived the exact moments of your brother’s horrific death and I wanted to make sure you’re okay. Because I’m your friend, Felix, in case you’ve forgotten. I’m starting to think you have.”

Felix huffs out a shaky breath, turning back to face the ocean. Every muscle in his body is tense, ready for a fight. “Sorry,” he mutters after a pause.

“You should be,” Sylvain tells him calmly, “but it’s alright.”

They’re quiet again for another few moments. The sea crashes against the rocks below, and Felix can feel the platform swaying slightly in the wind.

“No one blames you for chasing the rabbit like that,” Sylvain says eventually. “In fact, it was the first thing Dimitri agonized over when the Professor brought up tracking you down to bring you back on as his copilot. He didn’t want you to see what he saw that day.”

“I’m not stupid,” Felix says stiffly, “I knew there would be a chance I’d see something if we drifted.”

“It was your dad, huh,” Sylvain says, and Felix slowly lets his shoulders loosen.

“Yeah.”

“I thought so. It was going pretty well till he showed up.”

Felix doesn’t say anything to that. He’s aware Sylvain is studying him, his gaze heavy on the side of Felix’s face as the wind whips his bright hair back and forth. Sylvain is a lot more canny than he usually likes to let on to, but Felix has known him forever; he knows what hides behind Sylvain’s lighthearted teasing and laidback smiles.

Still, this isn’t something Sylvain is going to parse out just by looking at Felix.

So he says, “Do you know what he said to me after Glenn died?”

“No,” Sylvain says slowly, still watching him carefully.

“‘He died a true knight,’” Felix says, the words acid in his mouth. Even now, five years later, it makes him sick. Now that he’s had a front row seat to Glenn’s death, and felt what his brother felt in his final moments, all his regret, all his _fear,_ as he died via his connection to Dimitri…

“Easy,” Sylvain says, catching him by the elbow as Felix leans over the railing and pukes, emptying his stomach. “Fuck. I’m sorry, Felix.”

“You heard what he said yesterday,” Felix says, still leaning over the railing and sick with _emotion_ , “it’s a _happy_ day for Faerghus to have a Blaiddyd and a Fraldarius back in a Jaeger—”

“Don’t,” Sylvain says gently, but he’s frowning, light brown eyes worried. His hand has moved from Felix’s elbow to his back, resting in the center comfortingly.

Felix turns his head away, spitting down towards the waves. He watches it fall for as long as he can, until it disappears into the churning ocean water, assimilated into the greater whole.

“Is that why you’re so angry with Dimitri too,” Sylvain says, almost hesitantly, “because Glenn died?”

“No.” Felix straightens, shrugging Sylvain’s hand off. He wipes his mouth on the back of his sleeve. “It wasn’t Dimitri’s fault. I knew that five years ago. I didn’t need to see his memory of it to tell me that.” He gives Sylvain a look. “I’m not so callous as to blame him for something that was out of his control.”

“I understand. Sorry.” Sylvain’s studying him again. “Then why—”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Felix says flatly, and Sylvain lifts his hands in a peacemaking gesture.

“Alright, alright,” he says, but he’s still giving Felix a curious look. “So what’s next?”

Felix looks away again. “I don’t know.”

“Fair enough,” Sylvain says easily, like the fate of Faerghus isn’t tangentially involved. “Why don’t you come train with me and Ingrid? Hitting things with your practice sword always makes you feel better, right?”

Felix eyes him out of the corner of his eye, tempted to tell him to shove it. But...it’s an olive branch, one he might not even entirely deserve. “Fine.”

Sylvain grins. His eyes are knowing, like he knows Felix considered telling him no. “Atta boy. Now c’mon, let’s get the hell out of this wind.”

Following Sylvain back up the stairs into the Shatterdome, Felix is quiet until they’ve caught the lift back up into the active levels of the base. “Sylvain.”

“Yeah?” Sylvain leans casually against the far side of the lift, the picture of carefree even though Felix knows he’s anything but.

Felix pauses again, but takes a breath. Makes himself continue. “Thank you.”

From the edge of his vision, he sees Sylvain smile. “Anytime, buddy,” he says, and they spend the rest of the rumbling elevator ride in comfortable silence after that.

The Kwoon Combat Room is filled with a few other people squeezing in a workout routine or a friendly spar in between their duties, everyone too absorbed in what they’re doing to pay them any attention as Sylvain leads Felix over to where Ingrid already waits. She doesn’t seem surprised to see Felix tagging along as she tosses Sylvain a lance.

“Good morning,” she greets them, already flushed from a warmup.

“I thought we might trade off today,” Sylvain suggests as Felix retrieves a practice sword. “Get a little variation in the mix.”

Ingrid nods. “That’s acceptable. You two warm up, I’m going to get some water.”

Felix falls into the familiar motions of his warmups, letting rote muscle memory carry him through the forms. Since he’s training with Ingrid and Sylvain, he probably should have picked up a lance as well, but he’s never been as strong in his lancework as he is with a sword. He’s always liked swords better. Glenn liked swords too.

“Alright?” Sylvain asks him lightly when Felix stops, pausing in the middle of his footwork and not completing the follow-through that goes with it.

“I’m fine,” Felix says, clenching his teeth and resuming. Fortunately, Sylvain lets it go.

Ingrid rejoins them, and once she deems Felix and Sylvain sufficiently warmed up enough, they get to training. Felix has sparred with them countless times before, back when they were all trainees together, but it’s been awhile and they’ve obviously had time to improve their technique in the five years Felix has been gone. Ingrid knocks him off his feet in the first few minutes of their first match, but after that he starts to relearn their patterns and holds his own.

His only advantage is how eerily similar they both move, even when he’s facing off against them separately—they’ve been drifting together for a long time now, so it stands to reason their motions and techniques have bled into each other. It’s like he’s fighting the same person in two separate bodies. Felix wonders if they’ve noticed it when they spar each other.

He’s taking a break on the sidelines, allowing Sylvain and Ingrid to get in a round against each other before they go for a 3-person match, when Dimitri appears in the doorway to the room. He’s hard to miss, Felix’s attention drawn to him like a moth to flame even though everyone else in the room is still too absorbed in their workouts to notice him yet. For a moment they make eye contact before Dimitri clears his throat.

“Everyone out of the room, please,” Dimitri says loudly enough to carry, in a powerful, authoritative voice Felix has never heard him use before. He freezes, staring at Dimitri uncomprehendingly, but everyone else only pauses for a fraction of a second, looking around to find the source, before they realize it’s Dimitri. Then they begin to file out of the room, putting away their equipment and telling Dimitri not to worry about it as he offers them his apologies as they pass by him on their way out.

The room empties out quickly, though Sylvain and Ingrid linger. “Hey, Dimitri,” Sylvain says breezily, twirling the shaft of his lance idly. “What’s this about?”

“Hello, Sylvain, Ingrid,” Dimitri says calmly, yet to move from his position in the doorway. “If you could please leave too, I would appreciate it.”

“Of course,” Ingrid says, tugging Sylvain’s arm, “we’ll go.”

Sylvain doesn’t budge. “Everything alright?” he asks, still calm and pleasant.

“Yes,” Dimitri says, and does not elaborate.

Sylvain looks back to Felix. “You good?”

Felix is still staring at Dimitri, yet to look away from him. “I’m fine.”

Sylvain glances between the two of them again. “Okay. As long as everybody’s fine.”

“Thank you, Sylvain,” Dimitri says pointedly, and Ingrid pulls Sylvain’s arm again. This time he allows her to lead him out of the room, though not before giving Felix one last speculative look.

Then they’re gone, and the room is empty. Dimitri steps the rest of the way into the room and pulls the doors shut. Felix watches him do it, rooted to the spot in the center of the sparring mat.

“What are you doing,” he says blankly, finding his voice at last.

Dimitri doesn’t answer at first, moving over to where the practice swords are kept and selecting one, drawing it out slowly and examining it. “I’m apologizing.”

“What the fuck,” Felix snaps as Dimitri steps onto the mat towards him. “What the _fuck_ is this—”

“Felix,” Dimitri says solemnly, holding his wooden practice sword in the ready position. It looks like a toothpick in his hands, almost comically tiny in comparison to his massive size. “I’m sorry.”

For a moment Felix is so overcome with fury he can’t even speak. He snatches up his own sword, gripping it with both hands and lifting it up high over his head to bring it smashing down against Dimitri’s sword as hard as he can, nearly knocking it loose from Dimitri’s grip entirely. “You should have picked up a lance,” he snarls, swinging at Dimitri again. Dimitri barely blocks him. “You don’t stand a _fucking_ chance against me with a sword.”

“I know,” Dimitri says, and then parries him again when Felix tries to stab him in the gut. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Felix says, his voice rising into practically a shout. He swings at Dimitri again, forcing him to take a step back, and then another. “If you think I want to hear _anything_ from _you_ —”

“I know,” Dimitri says grimly, “but I want you to listen anyway.”

“I don’t care about yesterday,” Felix snaps, so frustrated he could stamp a foot. He doesn’t want to listen to Dimitri castigate himself over the past. “I know Glenn died and you were there and there was nothing you could have done—”

“Felix,” Dimitri says, almost gentle, “I’m not apologizing for yesterday. I’m apologizing for what I said to you five years ago. Before you left.”

Felix feels every single muscle of his body lock into place. “No.”

“I want you to understand—” Dimitri begins, but Felix lunges at him, sword flashing through the air.

“What more is there to understand,” he snarls, “you made yourself perfectly clear back then.”

“At the time, I meant what I said to you five years ago,” Dimitri says, staying on the defensive and parrying Felix’s swipes, “but it was also a lie.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean,” Felix snaps, livid. He hacks at Dimitri, wanting to tear into him so _badly_ , but Dimitri merely fends him off. “Attack me back, you coward!”

“No,” Dimitri says quietly. “I told you I would never drift with you. That I would never see you as an equal, or a partner—”

“You want to talk about this?” Felix shouts. He slams his sword across Dimitri’s, swiping him across the chest before Dimitri’s able to get his blade back up again to fend him off. “Fine! Let’s fucking talk about it! You came back from that nightmare of a mission, you and my dear old dad, the only two survivors, and the second you were lucid enough to speak you told me I would never be a good enough— _replacement—for—my—dead—brother!_ ”

He punctuates each of the last five words of his tirade with a blow from his sword, smashing it down against Dimitri’s again and again as his fury burns him from the inside out. His entire world had crumbled when Glenn died, and the one small consolation had been that Dimitri had made it back, Dimitri had survived, Dimitri who he lo—

“So now you’re telling me you really meant it?” Felix snarls, slicing at Dimitri only to have his sword just barely knocked back. “You meant it when you basically told me you hated my fucking guts? _Thank you_ for the confirmation, I can _finally_ sleep at night—”

“I meant it at the time because I thought it was the only way to keep you safe,” Dimitri says, so sad and pained it only makes Felix angrier. “After that mission, I was terrified of the same thing happening again, only with you. I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t _bear it,_ Felix. So I lied and told you I’d never drift with you.”

“Oh, so you thought you were keeping me safe,” Felix hisses, thrusting his sword at the opening on Dimitri’s left and scraping up his arm to the elbow before Dimitri backs up more to get away. “Like it was your choice to make in the first place.” Another slice Dimitri barely fends off. “Like I was a child that needed coddling.”

“I was wrong,” Dimitri says heavily, keeping his sword in a defensive position and still not attacking Felix back. “It was selfish of me to—”

His anger hits the breaking point, and for a moment his vision goes entirely red with rage. Felix tucks his chin and barrels into Dimitri with a guttural cry, foregoing his sword entirely and attacking him head on. Dimitri doesn’t do anything to stop him, and their collision is enough to send him toppling backwards onto the mat, landing hard on his back with an ugly thud. Felix doesn’t waste any time leaping on top of him, straddling his chest and completely uncaring about how compromising the position looks, shoving his sword right up against Dimitri’s throat, holding the blade horizontally with both hands nearly close enough to choke him.

Dimitri lies limp and still beneath him, his empty hands spread open on either side of his head. “I was wrong, Felix,” Dimitri says, looking up at him, and Felix hates how gentle he sounds, _hates him_ , “and I’m so, so sorry.”

Felix doesn’t answer him at first, panting raggedly as he holds his position above him. He thinks he might be shaking, trembling with exhaustion and adrenaline and anger, five years of emotions jumbling inside him, pitching and roiling like the ocean in a storm, and threatening to spill out across the mat to drown them both.

He’d been devastated when Dimitri had rejected him. It had been the end of his entire world.

It makes him so angry he’d been naive enough to think it was his whole world to begin with.

Catching his breath, Felix finally opens his mouth to tell Dimitri exactly what he thinks of this five-years-too-late-and-piss-poor-for-it apology, but instead what comes out is, “Why did you do that to me?” His voice trembles, _weak_ , but it’s just all too much. He and Dimitri had spent _years_ planning on being copilots, every waking moment striving towards that ultimate goal.

But then Dimitri had been graduated from the training program early. It had been a political move, a decision made by Dimitri’s father, King Lambert, in hopes of bolstering the public’s confidence in the Jaeger program at the time. What could be more patriotic than both the king and his son, both Jaeger pilots, fighting against the Kaiju threat to protect the citizens of Faerghus personally?

Felix had begged to be promoted as well. He and Dimitri were a match. Every training simulation they’d ever done together confirmed it.

His father, Duke of Faerghus and copilot to the king, had a different view. Felix’s older brother Glenn had already graduated the training program, and was a fully promoted pilot. He would be compatible with Dimitri because of _course_ he would be—that’s how the Fraldarius family and Blaiddyd family are; have been for centuries. Compatible. There was no need to push Felix to promotion when Glenn was already right there.

“Sorry,” Glenn had said to Felix, and the worst part is he probably actually meant it. “You know how Dad gets.”

Felix hadn’t wanted to hear it at the time. Then a Kaiju had emerged from the sea, the very first Category IV, and the king and his father had gone out to face it, with Dimitri and Glenn as their backup on their inaugural drift. Only Rodrigue and Dimitri had returned.

“Why did you do that to me?” Felix repeats, and maybe he’s starting to become hysterical now. He doesn’t know. He’s truly shaking now, a full body tremor where he still sits on top of Dimitri like a predator over prey. “My brother fucking _died_ , and you told me I was _worthless_ to you—”

Dimitri lifts his hands, glacially slow, like he thinks any sudden motions will provoke Felix into attacking. Carefully, he reaches past the sword at his throat, grasping gently onto Felix’s wrists, all the while peering up into Felix’s eyes with his own wide blue one. It’s nearly unbearable. Felix can’t look away.

“Because I was scared,” Dimitri says softly, “and it’s no excuse, but my mind was fractured at the time. You’ve seen how Glenn died now. You know how it felt. I’m sorry it was him, but if it had been you, instead…” He trails off, and Felix watches his throat bob as he swallows. “I would have died too, Fee.”

Felix can only stare down at him, breathing jaggedly as he shakes. Somehow Dimitri gets his fingers beneath Felix’s, loosening Felix’s grip on the sword and gently sliding it out from beneath them, putting it aside. Felix doesn’t even fight when next Dimitri gently pulls him down, until Felix is lying on top of his chest on his side, one ear pressed right up against Dimitri’s heartbeat.

“You’ve been in my head,” Dimitri says, his voice still quiet, but his chest vibrates with every word, reverberating through Felix in turn, “so surely you must know. I’ve always loved you, Felix. I still love you now.”

Slowly, Felix’s breathing evens out, no longer ragged and frantic. He can feel his heartbeat slowing, almost like it’s trying to match Dimitri’s. He can feel one of Dimitri’s hands in his hair, tentatively stroking the side of his head, while the other splays out across Felix’s hip to help keep him in place.

“I understand if you no longer feel the same way,” Dimitri continues, “but I couldn’t let this continue to fester and rot between us. I shouldn’t have driven you away. I was wrong. I’m sorry, Felix. I’m so sorry.”

“Stop,” Felix says, his voice raw, but he doesn’t try to get up or struggle away, remaining lying where he is on top of Dimitri. He doesn’t have the strength or energy to move.

“Alright,” Dimitri says, lying still beneath him, his hand still softly stroking Felix’s hair.

In the silence, Felix closes his eyes. His anger has burnt out, from a wildfire to ashy remains, and in its wake he feels hollowed out and empty. He knows every word that’s come out of Dimitri’s mouth is heartfelt and true, because Dimitri is right: Felix has been in his head. He’s seen all of it—ever since their disastrous test drift yesterday, from the moment their minds first connected, he’s known everything.

Unfortunately, this means the reverse is true as well. It would be mortifying if it weren’t just stupid Dimitri.

“I was in love with you,” Felix says, his voice low. At least in this position, he can’t even see Dimitri’s face let alone have to make eye contact with him. “You broke my fucking heart.”

Dimitri takes an unsteady breath, his chest rising and falling unevenly beneath Felix’s head, but he doesn’t say anything. He just keeps stroking Felix’s hair, soft and slow.

“I was blindsided by Glenn’s death,” Felix says, and he has to drag the words out from between his own teeth, a monumental effort that has him tensing up where he lies, but if he stops now he’s afraid he’ll never open his mouth again. “That wasn’t supposed to happen. But I was so relieved you came back. That you were alive. I never blamed you. Not once.”

“I know,” Dimitri says hoarsely, sounding as if he’s about to cry.

“Then you said all that to me,” Felix says, and stops. He can’t continue.

“I know,” Dimitri says again, his voice still thick. Felix knows he understands, which is enough.

Felix shudders, and the hand on his hip tightens for a moment to keep him from slipping. “I’ve been in your head now,” he says, switching tracks, “I understand why you thought you were protecting me by pushing me away.”

“I’ve been in your head too,” Dimitri reminds him grimly, “I’ve seen how much my words destroyed you. I should have pulled you closer. You’d just lost your brother.”

“You’d just lost your father,” Felix says. “And you’d felt Glenn die in your head.” He has all of Dimitri’s memories now, absorbed from the drift as if they’re his own. Dimitri had reeled for _months_ after Glenn had died, like half of his mind had been torn away with him. That, coupled with the loss of his own father, the king, had nearly been enough to drive Dimitri mad.

And Felix hadn’t been there. He’d left the Shatterdome after Dimitri had told him he’d never be a good enough replacement for Glenn, unable to bear the loss of both his brother and Dimitri.

“All this time I thought you’d been piloting,” Felix says quietly. “I didn’t know you hadn’t piloted with anyone until I spoke to Dedue.”

“Yes, well,” Dimitri says, rueful, “my head was too much of a mess for a long time. And Felix, you _must_ know. You’re my only true compatible match. Even drifting with Dedue was nothing like our drift yesterday.”

“I know.” Felix listens to Dimitri’s heartbeat for several counts. “What was your turning point?”

“The Professor,” Dimitri answers, understanding him at once. “They and Jeralt went out on a mission and Jeralt was killed only minutes into the battle.”

“I remember the news,” Felix says, because it had been all they’d talked about for weeks.

Byleth’s survival had been remarkable. It’s possible for one half of a Jaeger pilot team to survive a lost battle with a Kaiju—Dimitri and Rodrigue are testament to that. Normally single pilots survive by making it into an escape pod in time while the Kaiju destroys the Jaeger, while their copilot is either already dead, or doesn’t make it out in time.

After Jeralt had been killed, however, Byleth had not used an escape pod. Byleth had continued to fight the Kaiju, piloting their Jaeger entirely by themself, which is supposed to be impossible. There’s a reason, after all, Jaegers are always piloted by two people and not one; the mental strain is impossible for a single mind to uphold. It’s the whole reason the concept of the drift was created, so two minds could join together and work in tandem. The physical strain on Byleth’s Crest alone must have been astronomical as well.

But not only had Byleth piloted their Jaeger solo, they’d done it long enough to defeat the Kaiju they’d been fighting and in doing so had saved countless lives. Byleth had walked the Jaeger all the way back to shore and promptly collapsed, finally losing consciousness. When they’d been retrieved from the Conn-Pod, it had been discovered their hair had somehow changed from navy blue to a shocking neon green, something which even Byleth, after they’d come out of their coma a week later, had no explanation for.

To this day, Byleth remains the only person capable of piloting a Jaeger solo, though Felix has heard every doctor worth their salt has strongly cautioned them against ever setting foot in a Conn-Pod again. Even with a copilot, it’s impossible to tell whether Byleth’s mind would even be able to hold the drift for very long, or whether their Crest would be able to withstand the physical strain either.

“We nearly lost the Professor that day,” Dimitri says, “and it was like a wakeup call. The Professor is our leader here in the Shatterdome. If we really had lost them, what would have happened? Things were already beginning to grow tenuous with El and the Adrestians by then. I couldn’t just keep going on as I had.”

Felix doesn’t say anything at first, tracing back through Dimitri’s memories as he follows along. It’s an odd juxtaposition, to have them beside his own. “Then you wanted to pilot again?”

“Not at first. I just wanted to be actively involved again. I knew I needed to step up, be more present as it is, given my position. I took up a dispatch position in LOCCENT, and helped monitor launches and battles. But then once the Adrestians left, well. You know the rest.”

“Yes.”

They lie in silence again. Dimitri has to be getting uncomfortable, with Felix’s dead weight on top of him and Felix’s shoulder practically digging into his sternum, but all he does is continue to stroke Felix’s hair. Felix himself doesn’t know why he hasn’t moved. It would be easy to break Dimitri’s hold on him. Dimitri would let him go.

Finally he pushes himself up, careful not to crush the air out of Dimitri’s lungs. He twists to the side, so they’re face-to-face now, stomachs and chests pressed together. The hand on Felix’s hip slides to rest on his lower back instead, while Dimitri’s other hand drops carefully away from the side of his face, palm open on the floor.

Felix looks down at Dimitri intently. “If the Adrestians hadn’t left, would you have ever spoken to me again?”

Dimitri gazes up at him. “Felix, I…” he trails off. His brow furrows briefly, before smoothing out as he continues to look up at Felix steadily, not shying away. “I know I regret not going with the Professor to ask you to come back, but—”

“That’s not what I’m asking you,” Felix interrupts him, though not harshly. “You can’t change the past. I probably would have said no if you’d come.” Dimitri lets out a small, rueful chuckle at that, but Felix presses on. “I’m asking if you never needed me as a pilot at all, and you defeated the Kaiju without me, would you have told me all this anyway?”

He feels stupid as soon as he’s said it. He’s said far too much, left himself too raw and exposed for Dimitri to see, even though he hasn’t said all of what he’s trying to say anyway. But Dimitri’s already seen all of him, and Felix’s heart is beating in his chest in time with Dimitri’s, perfectly in sync.

“Oh, Felix,” Dimitri says, his single eye lighting as he realizes what Felix is really asking. It’s too much, and Felix turns his head to look away, but Dimitri gently reaches up to turn Felix’s face back towards him by the chin, his fingers featherlight. “Of course I would have come to find you,” he says, cutting straight to exactly what Felix needs to hear him say like a well-aimed lance, even without their minds connected. “How could I not? But without the drift it would be harder even than fighting a Kaiju, I imagine, to convince you to listen to me long enough to apologize—”

“Shut up,” Felix tells him, but there’s no bite to his words and Dimitri knows it, giving him a tiny grin. “You’re an idiot.”

“But I would have found a way, just like I did this time,” Dimitri says, still smiling but his tone is serious, as if he’s making an oath. “I would tell you the truth, just like I have now. I would tell you that I love you.” He pauses, and Felix hates how his face heats but Dimitri doesn’t tease him for it, merely peering up at him solemnly. “I would tell you that I was wrong, and that I need you at my side, now and always, if you were willing.”

Felix feels as if he could squirm right out of his own skin with some unnamed emotion that makes his chest seem tight enough to burst, but Dimitri’s hand on his back is solid and grounding where it holds him in place. His expression must be doing something terrible, because Dimitri lifts his fingers from Felix’s chin and uses his hand to gently cup Felix’s cheek.

“You don’t have to respond,” he says softly. “It’s alright if you can’t right now.”

“You already know how I feel about you,” Felix bites out, quivering on top of him, but he doesn’t pull away; Dimitri has anchored him in place, and it’s not against his will.

“Yes,” Dimitri says gently, “I do.”

Felix had tried with all his might not to let Dimitri see, but in the end it had been inevitable. Their minds were connected in the drift; if Felix could instantly see and understand Dimitri’s reasoning behind the terrible things he’d said five years ago and how he feels now, then Dimitri too could see everything Felix has ever thought or felt about him as well. There’s no hiding it.

“It’s good enough for me, for now,” Dimitri continues into the silence. He strokes the soft skin just beneath Felix’s eye slowly with his thumb. “One day, I would like to hear you say it, if the way you feel doesn’t change. But only when you want to. Only when you’re ready.”

“You’re the worst,” Felix breathes, and Dimitri laughs, smiling so widely and brightly it’s hard to look at him again. Somehow Felix manages, though he has a fleeting thought that one day it may actually be his cause of death.

“Well,” Dimitri says, the corners of his lips still curling up with amusement, “I’m glad you’re here to remind me of it.”

Felix snorts, the tightness in his chest easing just a little, and the door to the Combat Room opens. He tenses automatically, suddenly hyper-aware of his position on top of Dimitri and what they must look like, but it’s only the Professor, their expression not so much as flickering as they take in Felix and Dimitri on the floor as they shut the door again behind them.

Byleth walks across the mat where they lay frozen and then surprises Felix by sinking down to sit beside them, crossing their legs neatly. “How are you doing, Felix?”

Felix stares at them for a full ten seconds before remembering to answer. “Fine.”

“I’m glad,” Byleth says calmly, unperturbed. “I’m sorry Rodrigue surprised us yesterday. Originally he wasn’t scheduled to return until later yesterday evening, so he was earlier than expected. I thought we’d be able to get in the test run before that.”

Felix scowls, sliding sideways off of Dimitri. Dimitri helps him off, and together they both sit up, mirroring the Professor and sitting with their legs crossed like this is some kind of group session for kindergarteners. “Trying to coddle me?”

“Only in the sense of trying to avoid bringing up the exact memory you unfortunately witnessed,” Byleth answers, and Dimitri winces. “Dimitri, it’s not your fault.”

“You knew that would happen?” Felix asks, too shocked to remember to be angry.

Byleth shakes their head. “I guessed. Rodrigue had mentioned to me once before that he and you didn’t part on good terms when you left five years ago, so I made the assumption that his presence would be...upsetting, given the context.”

“I should have controlled my thoughts better,” Dimitri begins, but Felix cuts him off.

“Shut up, Dimitri,” he says firmly, “it was my fault. I’m the one who lost control.” He meets Byleth’s luminous gaze squarely. “It won’t happen again.”

Byleth smiles. “I know.”

“What about Rodrigue?” Dimitri asks.

“It doesn’t matter,” Felix says dismissively, before Dimitri can get any ideas in his head like sending Rodrigue away or other such nonsense. “The worst has already happened. I saw Glenn die. There’s nothing else my old man can bring up that could do any worse.”

“Ah,” Dimitri says. Tentatively, he reaches out and sets a hand on Felix’s knee closest to him, and Felix gives him a look because the Professor is _right there_ but still can’t quite bring himself to brush him off. “Then we go forward.”

“I’m glad to see you two getting along again,” Byleth says with another smile. Mortifyingly, it’s more fond than amused. “It’ll be just like old times.”

“Don’t push it,” Felix warns them, while Dimitri beams.

“I truly hope so, Professor.”

Byleth lets out a small laugh. “I’m proud of you both,” they say, growing serious but still fond. “You were two of my best and brightest. If we can pull this off, Faerghus will be in good hands.”

“Thank you, Professor,” Dimitri says solemnly, “I can only hope to prove you right.”

“You will,” Byleth answers, like everything is set in stone and they need no convincing. “Aside from that, I’m glad to see you both happy.”

“Ugh,” Felix says in disgust, but Dimitri smiles, giving Felix’s knee a small squeeze.

“Thank you, Professor.”

The door to the Combat Room bursts open, flung open so hard it slams against the wall with a loud bang that makes them all swivel around to look, startled. A split second later Lysithea sprints into the room at full throttle, her hair askew and her eyes huge as she skids to a stop.

“Professor, Professor, you have to come quick!” she shouts, half out of breath. “It’s Marianne! I told her not to, I swear, but she went ahead and did it anyway and now she’s—”

“Slow down,” Byleth says, climbing quickly to their feet. Felix and Dimitri follow suit. “Take a breath. What did Marianne do?”

“There’s no time!” Lysithea cries, beginning to tear up, and her next words are the last Felix ever expected to hear in order, beyond the realm of what he believed possible. “She drifted with a Kaiju brain!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please reference again art by **RoSue** [here on twitter](https://twitter.com/RoBo9623/status/1320099239452618754?s=20)!


	6. Chapter 6

“I’ve never seen anything like this before,” Manuela says for the fourth or fifth time. “It’s the _oddest_ thing.”

“You’re certain her vitals are normal?” Byleth asks where they stand on the opposite side of the makeshift bed they’ve constructed for Marianne, standing over her prone, limp form.

“Positive,” Manuela says, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “She’s in quite good health, aside from the fact that she appears to be in a coma.”

“Will she ever wake up?” Lysithea demands, her voice somewhat shrill, and Dimitri puts a hand on her shoulder. It’s testament to how worried she is that she doesn’t immediately shrug him off and voice her independence.

“Unfortunately, I couldn’t say,” Manuela answers, though she does sound troubled. “I’ve never seen anyone’s Crest do that, either.”

Dimitri follows her line of gaze down along with everyone else. Marianne looks as if she’s sleeping peacefully where she lies, even if it happens to be in the middle of her half of the lab she shares with Lysithea. All around them, covering nearly every available surface, all kinds of Kaiju samples float in various-sized glass containers, suspended in preserving solution and illuminated by different colored lights such that they all seem to give off the same radioactive glow they do when still alive. It makes the dim lab seem cave-like and eerie, Marianne herself pale and washed out in the blue glow of a nearby tank containing a Kaiju’s fourth heart chamber.

On her forehead, however, her Crest glows bright red, emblazoned across her skin like a tattoo.

“What’s her Crest again?” Byleth asks, and Manuela flicks her finger across the glass screen of her tablet, most likely looking through Marianne’s medical records.

“I have noted that she told me she had a Crest, but she wasn’t sure what it was,” she reports after a moment of skimming. “So I just have it marked down as Mystery Crest.”

“I see,” Byleth says pensively. “Lysithea, please walk me through everything.”

Lysithea folds her arms tightly. “She’s been talking about this _theory_ of hers for a few weeks now, but I didn’t think she was serious. I thought she was just, like, spitballing. To be honest, I didn’t think she would be brave enough to go through with it either, even if it _was_ plausible. But anyway, she’s mentioned a few times now that it might be possible for someone to drift with a Kaiju brain. She claimed it might be a way for us to gather intel on the enemy.”

“How would that even work?” Felix asks skeptically from where he stands beside a specimen jar nearly as tall as he is containing what looks like a Kaiju liver. Or maybe a pancreas? “Kaiju are beasts. They don’t have thoughts.”

“That’s what I always told her,” Lysithea answers, “but she was insistent. It has to do with her whole thing that all of the Kaiju are actually the same.”

“The same,” Dimitri repeats slowly.

“Marianne thinks all the Kaiju are clones,” Lysithea explains. “She doesn’t have much to work with, given how difficult it is to harvest all the kinds of, uh, parts she needs in order to run her tests, and Kaiju flesh doesn’t exactly stay fresh for long. But she’s almost certain that every single Kaiju that’s ever attacked us is exactly the same, genetically speaking.”

“I’m not following,” Manuela admits.

Lysithea lets out an impatient huff. “Look, I think it’s a little far-fetched too, alright? I’m just doing my best to explain her theory. Basically think of it like this. We have Category I, II, III, and IV Kaiju right now, right? Everyone pretty much assumes sooner or later we’ll be seeing Category V, too. But each category we’ve seen is stronger than the last, tougher to take down in a fight and with different abilities than before. I’m sure you all remember the jump between Category I and II when they suddenly started being able to spit acid.”

“Yes,” Dimitri says, nodding. Category I Kaiju, though seemingly impossible to defeat at the time when they’d first emerged, now seem like little more than giant bulldozers now. He’d give anything to only have to fight the likes of a Category I compared to a Category III or IV.

“Well, the general school of thought is that the Kaiju are evolving to be stronger since we’re giving such a strong pushback and stopping them from mowing down the continent. But Marianne thinks that the time frame for evolution is too short. She thinks there’s no way the Kaiju could be evolving at such a fast rate, even back when the attacks were months apart. Instead, she thinks that the Kaiju are being modified and improved by whoever created them in the first place to be stronger.”

“She thinks they’re technology,” Byleth says, “just like the Jaegers.”

“Exactly,” Lysithea says with a nod, “only they’re organic as opposed to being machinery.”

“So Marianne believes all Kaiju are the same basic model,” Dimitri says carefully, to make sure he’s understanding correctly, “but then someone is tweaking them each time before they come out of the breach? Giving them faster reflexes, or thicker skin, or bigger claws?”

“They’re innovating their weapon,” Felix says, “making it stronger and better every time, until we won’t be able to beat them. Question is, who are they?”

“That’s what we don’t know,” Lysithea admits. “Marianne thinks it could be the same person or people who cast the magic that created the portal for the breach. Which if that’s the case,” she adds slightly begrudgingly, “it would make sense.”

“And what do you think?” Byleth asks her.

Lysithea hesitates. “I don’t know. Like I said, before this I thought Marianne was just spitballing ideas and trying to make some kind of headway. I’ve never heard of anyone being able to create giant, battle-ready _creatures_ on short order before, but then again, Marianne’s genetic tests don’t lie. All the Kaiju samples she’s ever been able to test are a perfect match, I’ve seen her data myself. And furthermore…” She looks down at Marianne, her mouth twisting. “She believed it strongly enough to actually go through with the craziest part of her theory.”

“How was she even able to drift with the brain?” Dimitri wonders. The brain itself sits in the center of the lab, in a container large enough to be a tub. The lid is cracked open, and a long cable snakes down into the preservation solution, connected to a device stuck into the folds of the brain’s grey matter. The other end of the cable connects to an older model version of the same helmets Jaeger pilots wear in the Conn-Pod to drift. Marianne must have salvaged it at some point.

“Same way you’re able to drift with him, more or less,” Lysithea says, nodding at Felix. “She stuck that neural spike into the brain and then connected it to the helmet. The neural spike can interface with the brain directly, and the helmet has the same Pons tech you guys use when you drift. All she had to do was turn the power on.”

“And _why_ exactly did she want to drift with it?” Felix asks. “You said she thought it would be a good way to gather intel, but I don’t get the logic of that.”

“Her best-case scenario was that the Kaiju would be some kind of hivemind,” Lysithea answers, “so all of their brains would be connected, which would mean if she drifted with this one, she’d be able to see them all. She thought it could be plausible if they were clones, and if true, it would be an invaluable look at how the enemy moves and plans. More realistically, she hoped to be able to at least access its memories, and see if she could see any detail or information about anything before the Kaiju came out of the breach.”

“She wanted to see what’s on the other side,” Dimitri says, and Lysithea nods.

“I have to admit, it’s the most solid part of her plan. I want to see what’s on the other side of that portal too, and see where that magic comes from.”

“Do you think she was even able to see anything?” Manuela asks, casting a dubious look at the giant Kaiju brain. “It’s not human. It may not even be able to process things in a way that makes sense for a human to understand.”

“She’ll only be able to tell us when she wakes up,” Byleth says calmly. “I’d like you to do everything in your power to make sure that happens.”

“Oh, of course,” Manuela says, tucking her tablet under her arm. “We’re not losing anyone in this Shatterdome on my watch. I have a contact back in the Empire, too, who’s considered something of an expert on Crests. Hanneman von Essar. I’ll reach out to him and see if he can be of any help with whatever her Crest is doing. If we can figure that out, it could help her wake up.”

It suddenly occurs to Dimitri that Manuela is from Adrestria too, but hadn’t left when the rest of her countrymen had returned along with Edelgard. Instead she’s stayed on as their chief medic, and she’s done an excellent job of nursing Dedue back to health and seeing to the other various injuries that tend to rack up in the Shatterdome. There are plenty of doctors in Faerghus they could have recruited to replace her, but it means a lot that she’s stayed here to see things through to the end despite it all.

“Excellent,” Byleth says with a nod. “Work as quickly as you can, for the sake of Marianne’s health, but let’s also operate under the assumption that she’s gathered valuable information.”

“So you believe it too, Professor?” Lysithea asks, her mouth an unhappy slant.

“Giant monsters are crawling out of the ocean,” Byleth says to her gently, “I can’t afford to discount anything right now. It’s why we have Marianne doing her research on them in the first place.”

“I understand.”

“Have you made any progress on your end of things?” Dimitri asks her, and Lysithea casts one last look at Marianne as Manuela radios for one of her nurse aids to wheel down a stretcher, before waving for them to follow her out back into her side of the lab. Dimitri can’t say he’s entirely sorry to leave all of the floating Kaiju samples behind.

“Nothing worth really getting excited over,” Lysithea says, leading Dimitri, Byleth, and Felix over to her big monitor depicting the structure of the breach. “I’ve narrowed down that the portal is made out of dark magic, which isn’t all that surprising, but the structure of the spellwork isn’t anything I’ve ever seen before.” She hesitates a beat, and then admits, “I’m not even sure it’s human.”

“What does that mean?” Dimitri asks. “The Kaiju are casting the spell?”

“I don’t know. They’ve never used magic in battle, but maybe that just means they save all their magical power for the portal, to hold the breach open?” Lysithea shakes her head. “I know they tell stories about demonic beasts cropping up throughout history that are able to use magic, but I don’t think the Kaiju are the same.”

“So running with Marianne’s theory, whoever is casting the spell is whoever is creating the Kaiju and sending them out,” Byleth says.

“I guess so.”

“To what purpose?” Felix demands. “If it is someone doing this, why are they attacking us? Why are they trying to destroy Faerghus?”

“Not just Faerghus,” Dimitri reminds him, and Felix rolls his eyes.

“We seem to be taking the brunt of the assault.”

“That could just be chalked up to the location of the trench,” Byleth suggests, “but either way, it’s a valid question. If the Kaiju aren’t just a natural phenomena, and someone is behind this, then we need to determine why.”

“Do you think it’s possible to negotiate at this point? To stop the attacks?” Even as he asks, Dimitri can’t imagine it being possible, not this late in the game. It’s been years, and the onslaught has been relentless. If the other side were truly interested in negotiation, they would have sent some kind of message with their terms by now.

“No,” Byleth says after a pause, confirming Dimitri’s line of thought. “I don’t think they want to talk.”

Felix snorts. “They want to annihilate us.”

“We need to know what Marianne’s seen, if she’s seen anything at all,” Byleth says, pensive once more. “Even just a scrap or hint of insight could tip you into the right direction for figuring out the magic aspect, Lysithea.”

“You’re right,” Lysithea says with a resigned sigh. “But if I’d known she was actually going to do it, I still would have stopped her.” She glares at them, small but fierce. “No piece of intel is worth her life, or anyone else’s.”

“Agreed,” Dimitri says solemnly. “But what’s done is done.” He offers her a small smile. “We can only carry on.”

“Ugh,” Lysithea says, “my own advice parroted back at me.” The corners of her lips twitch though, and she gives Dimitri a sly look. “I guess you could say that—”

Behind her, the model of the breach on the monitor screen lights up red, and an alarm chimes. Lysithea whirls around, tapping furiously at her keyboard. The portal begins to expand, widening, its heat signature growing hotter and hotter.

“Shit,” Lysithea says, and slams a fist on a small panel off to the side of her keyboard.

The Shatterdome’s Kaiju Alarm begins to blare loudly, ringing out through the entire facility so everyone can hear it and alerting them to the worst: a Kaiju is emerging from the breach.

Dimitri exchanges a look with Felix. “Professor, should we—?”

“No,” Byleth says swiftly, “Ingrid and Sylvain are on standby this week. They’ll handle this. You two need at least one more practice run before you scramble for a real fight.”

“Um, Professor?” Lysithea says in a shocked, distant voice, staring up at her screen with wide eyes. “There’s...there’s two.”

“Are you sure?” Byleth asks intently, turning back at once and leaning towards the monitor.

Lysithea taps on a white hot spot of heat slowly coalescing from the shimmering surface of the portal. Dimitri imagines it must represent a Kaiju emerging through the breach, coming out of the passageway and into the cold, dark ocean water. “One.” She taps on another similar spot to the left of it, less focused at first but growing sharper by the second as they watch. “Two.”

Byleth doesn’t hesitate. “Get a lock on them and transmit all data to LOCCENT,” they say, whirling on their heel and heading out of the lab at a steady run.

Dimitri and Felix follow in their wake, leaving the lab behind as well and sprinting down the hall to catch up with them at the elevator. Byleth is already speaking into their communicator, giving the order for Annette and Mercedes to sortie, and Dimitri feels a tension in his chest tight enough to make his lungs ache. Two Kaiju.

“How can there be two?” Felix asks as the elevator rises. “This is sooner than Lysithea or Marianne predicted.”

“I don’t know,” Byleth says grimly.

“It’s like they’re escalating,” Dimitri says slowly, his thoughts churning at a million miles an hour. “The projected schedule made sense. We should have seen Kaiju more and more frequently, until we were at a point where one a day was emerging. Only after that should we have seen multiple breaches at once. But this is a reaction. Something’s happened to make them change things.”

“Marianne?” Byleth says, eyeing him consideringly.

“If she really had a successful drift with that Kaiju brain, then she’s seen things,” Felix says, “but that also means whoever’s on the other side saw _her_ too.”

“They really are a hivemind,” Dimitri says, and the elevator comes to a stop.

“Focus,” Byleth reminds them, “we don’t have any solid facts to back it up right now. Let’s deal with the Kaiju first.”

“Right, Professor,” Dimitri says, and Felix nods.

LOCCENT Control looks like any other wartime mission control room, a hive of activity complete with three rows of holoscreens all manned by technicians monitoring the scrolling feeds of diagnostics as two separate Jaegers prepare for launch. Byleth leads them directly over to the front of the room, covered with more holoscreens in front of the wide panel of windows that give a bird’s eye, panoramic view of the hangar and its Jaeger bays. More technicians and engineers swarm on the ground below, everyone following the protocols they’ve been given to do when the Kaiju Alarm has gone off: everyone has a job to do, and it takes everyone doing their jobs in perfect tandem to get the Jaegers launched in seven minutes flat.

Hilda sits in the center of the front row of holoscreens, and she swivels around in her chair at their entrance. “Professor on deck,” she announces, and gives Dimitri and Felix a wink. “Howdy boys.”

“Status?” Byleth asks, coming to a stop beside her chair.

Hilda spins around again. “Daphnel Ruin ready to go in two minutes,” she reports, calm and cool, “neural handshake is stable and all systems are green.”

“Annette and Mercedes?”

“About to drop.”

“Good,” Byleth says. “Launch as soon as they’re ready.”

“Aye, aye, Professor.” Hilda leans into the mic set up in front of her main screen. “Paging Ingrid and Sylvain. T-minus 90 seconds to launch.”

“Yeehaw,” Sylvain answers cheerily.

“Ready,” Ingrid confirms.

Dimitri rests his hands on the desk, leaning down towards the mic as well so they’ll hear him. “Be careful,” he tells them, “there’s two this time.”

“Two?” Ingrid asks in alarm.

“We’re sending Lamine Crusher out right behind you,” Byleth says calmly, “so it will be an even fight. Just watch each other’s backs, and you’ll be able to wrap this up without problem.”

“Oh come on, we could totally take them both out before Annie and Mercie get there,” Sylvain says jokingly, but Felix leans down next to Dimitri, their shoulders brushing, and Dimitri feels a jolt run down his spine.

“Dumbass,” Felix enunciates clearly into the mic, and Sylvain laughs.

“Aw, did you come to watch me kick ass, Fee?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“You’re not exactly inspiring, you know that? Don’t you have anything nice to say before we go off into life and death combat?”

“Be safe Ingrid.”

“Thank you, Felix,” Ingrid says, her grin evident in her voice while Sylvain makes wounded noises.

The giant bay door of the hangar opens at last and Daphnel Ruin launches, leaping out of the side of the Shatterdome and landing in the ocean with a splash that sprays water several hundred feet into the air. Hilda taps in a command and a few of LOCCENT’s window panels flicker, reverting to a live feed of the Jaeger’s Conn-Pod so they can see exactly what Sylvain and Ingrid are seeing as they begin to walk forward, away from the coast.

“Helicopter is launching in five,” Hilda says, “so we’ll have an aerial view shortly.”

“Get it up on screen here as soon as they’re in the air,” Byleth commands. “What’s Lamine Crusher’s status?”

“Drop successful,” Hilda answers, “patching into the ’Pod now. Afternoon, ladies.”

“Hello, Hilda,” Mercedes says serenely.

“We’re ready for launch!” Annette says, a bit more impatiently. “Are the Kaiju here yet? We’re not too late, are we?”

“Yeah, Ingrid and I are already having roast Kaiju,” Sylvain answers.

“That’s disgusting.”

“Launch,” Byleth orders, and a moment later Lamine Crusher leaps out of the Shatterdome as well to join Daphnel Ruin in the sea. “Don’t spread out too far, but give each other some room and then hold position. Lamine Crusher, you take the north, in case one of them tries to slip up into the river. Daphnel Ruin, you’re the bulwark for the Shatterdome.”

LOCCENT’s window panels flicker again, and Lamine Crusher’s Conn-Pod view is added to the left of Daphnel Ruin’s as the two Jaegers move into position. A moment later, the last of the window panels revert to an overhead shot of the Jaegers, courtesy of the chopper hovering high above them overhead so they can have a clear view of the scene below. The sea is rough, white caps marking the crest of every wave, but the two Jaegers are hardly buffeted as they wade through the water.

“Thank you, eye in the sky,” Hilda says, leaning back in her chair. “All systems still green, Professor. Neural bridges are steady. We got any intel on the Kaiju yet?”

“Incoming packet from Lysithea,” one of the technicians from the back says, and a moment later it pops up on Hilda’s screen, to the side of her two neural bridge feeds.

“Two Kaiju incoming,” Hilda reports, scanning through the data lightning-quick, “both are Category IV.”

Dimitri’s gut clenches, but he forces himself to take a breath and remain calm. It will be fine. Both Ingrid and Sylvain as well as Annette and Mercedes are experienced pilots. They’ve taken down countless Category IV Kaiju before. It’s two-on-two.

“Relax,” Felix mutters at him, his eyes trained on the aerial shot of the two Jaegers waiting in the ocean. His body is one line of tension.

“Are you worried, Felix?” Dimitri asks him.

“Don’t ask stupid questions,” Felix says without tearing his eyes away from the screen. He raises his voice. “Professor, are you sure we—”

“Have a little faith in them,” Byleth says lightly. “They can do this. Your time to join the fight will be here soon enough.”

Felix doesn’t argue, but Dimitri sees his jaw clench. He knows Felix hates feeling so helpless, unable to do anything but watch. Even when he’d been unable to drift at all after Glenn’s death, Dimitri had hated it too. He still doesn’t like it now, but he understands the Professor’s caution.

The elevator doors slide open and Rodrigue steps into the command center. He walks up as quickly as he can to join them at the front, leaning on his cane when he comes to a stop. His left leg never fully healed properly from the day Lambert and Glenn died, though aside from the limp he seems spry as he ever has to Dimitri.

“Dimitri, Felix,” he greets them, sounding pleased to see them both.

“Hello, Rodrigue,” Dimitri returns with a nod. He hasn’t spoken to him since the disastrous test run, but now’s not exactly the time to discuss it.

Felix, for his part, straightens from where he’d been leaned down next to Dimitri, and Dimitri can’t help but immediately mourn the loss of his proximity. “What are you doing here?” he asks, folding his arms.

“I’m here to oversee the mission,” Rodrigue answers. If he’s perturbed by his son’s brusqueness, he doesn’t show it. Even so, Dimitri’s somewhat relieved when Rodrigue turns to Byleth instead of attempting to pursue any more conversation. “Byleth, I heard there were two?”

“Yes,” Byleth answers, “we should be engaging shortly.”

“I’m not seeing anything,” Sylvain says, “and our sensors aren’t picking up anything either. You guys have anything?”

“No,” Mercedes answers. “Professor, are the Kaiju close?”

“Lysithea is tracking them,” Byleth answers. They tap one of the holoscreens and pull up the radar Lysithea set up, following the Kaiju’s heat signatures. “They’re ten miles out and closing fast.”

“We’re lucky they can’t move as fast as they swim,” Hilda mutters, scrolling through a weapons diagnostic report on Lamine Crusher. “One hundred miles in ten minutes is insane.”

“There’s an underwater current that helps them, too, unfortunately,” Byleth says absently, watching the two dots move closer and closer to the coast. “It’s like a slipstream that jets them here, along with their swimming prowess. That’s why it seems like they always make a beeline straight here.”

“What just happened?” Dimitri asks as the two dots suddenly blink out of existence, disappearing off the screen. They don’t reappear, the radar remaining blank and empty.

“I don’t know,” Byleth says. “Patch me down to Lysithea.”

“Sure thing,” Hilda says, tapping a command.

“I’ve lost them too,” Lysithea says without preamble as soon as she picks up her comm. “The spell is still working just fine, though, I’ve triple checked. I don’t understand what’s going on or why they’ve disappeared. I’m sorry, Professor.”

“Don’t worry. Just keep trying.”

“I will.”

“Look sharp,” Byleth says to the Jaegers, “we’ve lost the Kaiju on our radar, but they should be on you any minute now.”

“Do you think it’s a new...feature?” Dimitri asks Felix in a low voice as Sylvain, Ingrid, Annette, and Mercedes all give their affirmatives. “A new tweak to the model?”

“It could be.” Felix keeps his arms folded tightly, a defense against his own uneasiness. “Not a good sign if they’re getting advanced enough to repel magic.”

Grimly, Dimitri looks back at the blank radar. If they can cloak themselves from being detected, then how long until perhaps they can hide their emergence from the breach altogether? One attack on the Shatterdome without forewarning or any time for preparation would be the end of it. Then the Kaiju would be able to destroy the rest of Faerghus at will.

But that has to be impossible. The magical energy output from the portal is just too enormous to cloak. Lysithea will always be able to monitor it, and warn them of incoming Kaiju. Dimitri has to believe that as fact, or otherwise he really will lose hope.

“Still not picking up anything on our sensors,” Ingrid reports. On the screen, Daphnel Ruin paces back and forth, patrolling a wide stretch of sea a couple hundred yards out from the Shatterdome. Like Areadbhar Aegis, Daphnel Ruin carries a giant lance, as both Ingrid and Sylvain favored lances all throughout their training; a newer model than Areadbhar Aegis, Daphnel Ruin was designed and built to Ingrid and Sylvain’s specifications.

“I _hate_ waiting like this,” Annette says nervously. Lamine Crusher has taken up post in the center of the wide mouth of the River Loog, an enormous sentinel carrying a warhammer large enough to smash a bus. Like Daphnel Ruin, Lamine Crusher is a newer Jaeger model built specifically for Annette and Mercedes, so as they’re both mages, its other hand not carrying the warhammer has spells interwoven into its mechanics that amplify magic. “We’re not picking anything up either.”

“What the happ is fuckening,” Sylvain remarks idly, nonplussed. “How are Kaiju suddenly resistant to tracking?”

“Evolving again?” Mercedes guesses. “Are these perhaps precursors to Category Vs?”

“Something like that,” Byleth says, glancing at Dimitri and Felix. “We’ll fill you in later.”

“Did Lysithea assign them names yet?” Sylvain asks. Daphnel Ruin stops pacing, planting its lance into the ocean floor as the rough waves toss and turn at its knees.

“Yep,” Hilda says, opening the file on her holoscreen. “Leatherback and Otachi.”

“You know, I’ve always thought the naming system is so random and—”

“Kaiju spotted!” Ingrid interrupts, and everyone’s heads whip towards the panels with the live feed from Daphnel Ruin’s Conn-Pod.

Fifty yards out in front of the Jaeger, a large wave begins to form, rolling across the surface of the ocean above the other waves and picking up speed as it approaches. As it gets closer and closer, Dimitri can start to see the shape of the Kaiju just beneath the surface, barreling towards Ingrid and Sylvain like a freight train. Daphnel Ruin readies its lance, sinking into a ready crouch while everyone in LOCCENT collectively leans forward with bated breath where they watch.

The Kaiju bursts above the surface with a roar, leaping up at the Jaeger with an explosion of water. Ingrid and Sylvain meet it with twin yells, driving their lance forward to fend the Kaiju off. They manage to knock it back, just barely, sending the Kaiju windmilling backwards, but Dimitri notes with dismay their lance hasn’t even left a scratch on the Kaiju’s thick skin.

“Leatherback,” Hilda says, and the helicopter’s camera zooms in to give them a closer look.

Rearing up on its hind legs, Leatherback's build reminds Dimitri of a gorilla from the tropical islands of Brigid. Its front arms boast enormous fists, akin to maces, with hard protrusions covering its clawed hands resembling armor. The armor covers the rest of its arms as well, all the way up to its shoulders, and the Kaiju also has a crest-like plate that covers the top of its head. Behind the plate, Dimitri can make out bioluminescent tendrils on the back of its head that wiggle like a sea anemone as it opens its huge, hinged jaw full of teeth and roars.

“These guys get uglier every time,” Sylvain says breezily, and then he and Ingrid charge.

“Annette, Mercedes, keep your guard up,” Byleth orders as Daphnel Ruin and Leatherback exchange a series of blows. For such a heavyset Kaiju, Leatherback is startlingly fast as it pulls back a massive fist and punches the Jaeger hard enough to send it stumbling backwards. “We still have no eyes on Otachi.”

“On it, Professor,” Annette answers, her voice flinty.

“Its skin is too thick,” Ingrid says after they’ve sunk their lance tip directly into Leatherback’s right shoulder only for the Kaiju to shake it off, hardly even bleeding. “This isn’t working, Sylvain.”

“Charging the missiles,” Sylvain answers, his voice calm but clipped, “we just gotta hold this bastard off for three minutes.”

Leatherback lunges at them again, and Daphnel Ruin takes a step to the side, jabbing at the Kaiju’s face as it barrels past, carried by its own momentum. Leatherback has to make a wide loop to turn around again, churning through the waves, and Daphnel Ruin turns around to face it again, ready for the Kaiju’s next charge—

“Behind you!” Dimitri roars, but it’s too late.

The second Kaiju erupts out of the water behind Daphnel Ruin without warning, body slamming into the Jaeger like a wrecking ball. Sylvain gives a yell of pain and Ingrid screams as Otachi crushes their Jaeger down, knocking them clear off their feet and smashing them into the ocean floor. The view from their Conn-Pod is a garbled wash of bubbles as they struggle with their enemy, the water churning like it’s boiling.

“Ingrid! Sylvain!” Dimitri shouts, clenching his fists so hard his nails bite into his palms.

“We’re coming, we’re coming!” Annette cries, and on the screen Lamine Crusher takes off at a sprint from the mouth of the river, running as fast as it can towards the battle.

“Missiles charged,” Ingrid shouts, “firing now!”

An explosion goes off underwater, sending up a plume of water up into the air. Leatherback roars again, catching sight of Lamine Crusher, putting its head down like a bull and charging towards them. Kaiju and Jaeger collide, with enough force to send a noticeable shockwave through the water.

“Status!” Byleth orders. “Sylvain, Ingrid, report.”

“We’re still here,” Sylvain finally answers after a pause, his voice strained. The water is still roiling, the bubbles too thick to see through, but after a moment Daphnel Ruin emerges, standing back up. “Got a problem, though.”

“Fuck,” Felix breathes, and Dimitri echoes the sentiment wholeheartedly.

Daphnel Ruin’s right arm is gone completely, ripped away with nothing but shredded edges of steel plating from its shoulder remaining. With its arm gone, so is its lance, and Otachi surfaces about thirty yards away, still in one piece.

Otachi is built differently than Leatherback. It appears to walk on all fours rather than up on its hind legs, though it’s still tall enough to stand above the water as it prowls closer to Daphnel Ruin. The Kaiju has a long tail with bony plates along its spine, as well as three prehensile pincers on the end of its tail like a mutated scorpion. Its neck is longer than stubby Leatherback’s, with a narrow head crowned by an armored plate that looks like two horns between its forehead and snout.

“They have two more missiles ready to launch,” Hilda reports in a clipped voice, her screen scrolling so quickly through diagnostics it makes Dimitri’s eye hurt, “but it doesn’t look like the first round did much damage.”

“I think we missed,” Ingrid says as Daphnel Ruin slowly rotates on the spot to keep Otachi in front of them as the Kaiju gradually circles closer. “Sylvain, let’s try it again.”

“Where’s Leatherback?” Sylvain asks.

“Lamine Crusher has engaged,” Byleth says. On the aerial camera view, Lamine Crusher swings its warhammer at the Kaiju, but Leatherback bats it away like a fly. “Mercedes, try Ragnarok.”

“I already have, Professor,” Mercedes answers grimly, her voice strained with effort, “the magic rolled right off its skin.”

“Holy shit,” one of the techs in the back of the command room says.

“Resistant to magic,” Hilda says in disbelief.

“Impossible,” Rodrigue murmurs.

“Dimitri,” Felix says in a low voice, and Dimitri tears his eye away from the screens to look at him. Felix locks eyes with him, holding his gaze without flinching. “We have to go out there.”

“The Professor said—” Dimitri begins helplessly.

“Fire!” Ingrid shouts, and Dimitri jerks his head back towards the screens.

Daphnel Ruin’s chest plate slides open to launch a missile directly at Otachi, but in that same split second, Leatherback slams its fists down and opens two of the metal plates on its broad back to reveal a pulsating, neon blue organ on its back. A bright flash of light beams across the water like a signal flare.

As soon as it hits Daphnel Ruin, Sylvain and Ingrid cry out in unison and all their systems go dark.

“What just happened?” Byleth demands.

“I don’t know!” Hilda says frantically, her fingers flying across her keyboard. “It was like some kind of electromagnetic pulse! All of Daphnel Ruin’s electronics are disabeled!”

“Can you get them back online?”

“I’m trying, but there’s nothing! It’s not even responding to a reboot, Professor, they’re totally dead in the water!”

“Dimitri,” Felix says tensely.

“I know,” Dimitri tells him, frozen as he stares at the screens.

Otachi prowls past the frozen Daphnel Ruin, dismissing it for now and heading towards where Leatherback and Lamine Crusher are still exchanging powerful blows. As Annette and Mercedes take another swing at Leatherback, Otachi opens its mouth and lets out a spray of acid, melting the back paneling of the Jaeger in a shower of sparks and smoking metal, and both Annette and Mercedes scream in pain.

Leatherback unleashes another pulse from its back, this time aimed for Lamine Crusher, and their screams abruptly cut out.

Both Jaegers are now sitting ducks.

“ _Dimitri_ ,” Felix says, his voice just on the edge of cracking with desperation, and Dimitri knows.

“Professor,” Dimitri says, and Byleth’s gaze snaps over to him, “you have to let us go out.”

“We can’t risk it,” Byleth answers grimly. “You’ll just be disabled too.” They glance at Rodrigue. “How far out is the Church’s convoy?”

“They’re not due in until later this evening,” Rodrigue says with a shake of his head. “Even if they were ahead of schedule, their Jaeger would have to be reassembled and recalibrated.” The process takes hours.

“We won’t be disabled,” Dimitri interjects, struggling to keep his voice calm despite his screaming impatience. “Areadbhar Aegis runs analog, not digital.” Areadbhar Aegis was originally constructed for his father and Rodrigue, an entire Jaeger generation before Daphnel Ruin and Lamine Crusher.

“He’s right, Professor,” Hilda chimes in. Her face is pale but her voice is steady. “Daphnel and Lamine are both newer Jaeger models. Areadbar Aegis still has the older tech. That electromagnetic pulse won’t disrupt any of their systems.”

“It’s still unwise,” Rodrigue puts in, “we can’t risk having another Jaeger destroyed if we’re to carry out the mission on the breach.”

“No one asked you, old man,” Felix snaps, furious.

“With all due respect,” Dimitri says in a voice that trembles only slightly, looking between Rodrigue and Byleth, “I recognize the mission on the breach is paramount. But we cannot abandon Annette, Mercedes, Ingrid, and Sylvain.”

Byleth’s unreadable gaze sweeps past Dimitri for a moment, looking to Felix, before flickering back to Dimitri again. It seems like the entire room is holding its breath. “Run.”


	7. Chapter 7

Dimitri’s mind is a forest after a fire.

Parts of it still burn, ravaged by the past and everything that’s happened to Dimitri to build him into the person he’s become, but this time Felix is better prepared as the drift yawns open and their minds meld into one. Instead of resisting and rejecting, Felix allows Dimitri’s thoughts to flow into his, until he can barely tell where he ends and Dimitri begins.

He only gives a minute flinch when invisible teeth come crashing down on him, but this time he brushes the memory away, letting it fade into the background noise of all the rest. He knows Glenn died. He knows it hurts.

“Neural handshake is stable,” Hilda’s tinny voice comes through the comm in his ear as Felix’s vision clears enough to be able to see in front of him again. The bay doors have opened wide, the ocean and sky stretching on into the horizon. “All systems green. Areadbhar Aegis prepared for launch.”

“Ready,” Dimitri says from across the Conn-Pod.

“Ready,” Felix echoes him. His heart is still pounding from the mad dash of sprinting from LOCCENT to the Jaeger bay, and the harried rush of getting into his drivesuit and preparing for battle, but he makes himself calm, centering his thoughts. He picks Dimitri’s breathing to focus on, since they’re already breathing in tandem, perfectly in sync.

“Launch,” Byleth commands, and Felix and Dimitri leap in unison out of the Shatterdome.

“I don’t like this part,” Dimitri confesses in the split second as they fall, his thoughts echoing the sentiment as they drop down alongside the cliff towards the crashing waves below.

“Falling’s easy,” Felix answers as they bend their knees. “Anyone can fall.”

He feels the flash of Dimitri’s amusement just before they hit the water, legs slamming into the ground. Luckily the drop is nothing for the Jaeger, its metal legs absorbing the impact without an ounce of pain, and they straighten together. Several hundred yards away, Leatherback and Otachi are busy tearing Lamine Crusher to shreds, while Daphnel Ruin still stands frozen in place, only able to helplessly look on.

“Annette,” Felix says, the spike of his distress paired with Dimitri’s making the drift shimmer.

“She and Mercedes were able to eject,” Byleth assures them. “The escape pod release is manual, so they were able to get out even with the systems down. We have eyes on their pods, but you’d better hurry. Ingrid and Sylvain haven’t ejected, so something must be jammed.”

“Right foot first,” Dimitri says, and they move, powering Areadbhar Aegis forward into a run.

Otachi notices them first, lifting its head from tearing off Lamine Crusher’s arm and letting out a roar when it sees them coming. Leatherback is slower to react, only just beginning to turn around, but Felix and Dimitri hit their stride and then gather themselves into a leap, jumping up into the air and slamming Areadbhar Aegis’ lance down with all their might straight into Leatherback’s face.

Leatherback screams, rolling to the side while thrashing, and Otachi snakes forward to strike. Felix and Dimitri slam their left arms up, shield flaring out from the Jaeger’s forearm just in time as Otachi spits another mouthful of acid. The metal melts, but the shield holds, and with a yell, Felix pushes back against the Kaiju, fending it off as it tries to take a swipe at them with its claws.

“Dimitri!” he shouts, and Dimitri catches his thought in an instant.

“Three, two, now!” Dimitri roars, and they spin around.

Now they face opposite opponents, and the motion has caught the Kaiju off guard. Felix slams their shield up just in time to fend off a blow from Leatherback, his entire arm rattling as Leatherback pummels him. Dimitri slashes at Otachi’s face with their lance, and his aim is successful: Otachi lets out an ear-shattering shriek as the lancetip rakes across its eyes, howling as it stumbles back and away, tail writhing in all directions as it paws at its face.

“Alright, nice!” Hilda crows, and they can hear the rest of the technicians in LOCCENT Command cheering encouragingly behind her.

“I don’t know if it’s completely blinded but it should buy us some time,” Dimitri says, and Felix nods.

“Let’s deal with this bastard first,” he says, and they turn to face Leatherback fully.

Leatherback roars, charging at them through the water. Felix and Dimitri dodge right together and the Kaiju hurtles past. As it passes them, Felix reaches out and seizes the giant neon blue organ on its back, ripping it off and tossing it aside, making the Kaiju scream. Now it won’t be able to emit any more electromagnetic pulses at all.

_For our friends,_ Felix snarls, and triumphantly Dimitri echoes him, _Yes!_

Leatherback wheels around and leaps at them, this time too quickly to avoid, grabbing Areadbhar Aegis in a bearhug and spinning them around wildly before throwing them through the air. Felix’s whole world tilts and spins as they fly, their viewscreen a confusing blur of sea and sky. He and Dimitri tuck their bodies and turn it into a roll, hitting the water and somersaulting once before coming to a stop in a crouch.

Dimitri looks over at him, panting. “You good?”

“Don’t worry about me,” Felix snaps at him, also out of breath. His arm is sore from the beating it took, but he pushes the feeling away to deal with later. “It’s coming back for more.”

“Very well,” Dimitri says, readying their lance as Leatherback charges at them again.

This time they charge to meet the Kaiju, lance leveled like they’re in a jousting match. Felix flicks on their dorsal thrusters to increase their speed, burning through the water towards the Kaiju, and this time when they collide, it’s with enough force to smash the lance all the way through Leatherback’s thick armor plating. The Conn-Pod shudders, Felix and Dimitri grunting with the impact. The lance shaft snaps off as Leatherback snarls, neon Kaiju blood splattering as it pulls away from them, half of the weapon still sticking out of its chest where it’s been buried.

“Grab on!” Dimitri shouts, tossing the broken end of the lance shaft aside, and they jump forward to snatch Leatherback’s head while the Kaiju is still disorientated.

Felix balls his hand into a fist and drags his arm back to punch Leatherback as hard as he can in the head once, twice, and then on the third time Dimitri powers up the rockets stored in the Jaeger’s elbow to increase the force of Felix’s punch, and his Blaiddyd Crest sears brightly across their minds. Felix smashes his fist into Leatherback’s face and this time the blow lands with an audible crunch. Leatherback flails, its own massive fists flying, and their Jaeger is knocked backwards hard enough to fall down.

“Charge your plasma caster,” Felix snarls as they scrabble frantically in the water to stand up again before Leatherback regains its bearings.

“Plasma caster charging,” Dimitri answers, fingers flying across his control panel.

Felix’s fingers close around a boulder on the bottom of the ocean, jagged riprap from the cliffs. He picks it up as they stand, weighing it in the Jaeger’s palm. Leatherback barrels towards them, and as it readies itself to leap, Felix flings the boulder at the Kaiju with all his might, smashing the rock into its chest. Leatherback drops and they don’t hesitate, leaping on top of it and smashing it down against the ocean floor.

“How much longer!” Felix cries as Leatherback thrashes beneath them, their Jaeger pitching wildly. He slams their shield down against the Kaiju’s throat, arm straining, pushing with all his strength to keep from being thrown off.

“Fifteen seconds,” Dimitri says, holding his arm at the ready, palm exposed and fingers spread wide. The plasma cannon built into Areadbhar Aegis’ hand glows blue as it gathers energy, preparing to fire. Leatherback continues to thrash, nearly throwing them off, but they both dig in and keep their hold.

“Aim for the chest,” Felix answers, thinking of the open wound in the Kaiju’s chest where the shaft of their lance still protrudes out from. It’s the only way the cannon is going to do any kind of damage; Leatherback’s skin is too thick otherwise. _I’ll move the shield and—_

“Now!” Dimitri commands, and Felix yanks his arm and shield up while Dimitri slams his palm down straight into Leatherback’s chest.

Dimitri fires off three successive shots of the plasma caster straight into the Kaiju’s open wound, the kickback from the weapon making the entire Jaeger jerk back every time. Chunks of Kaiju flesh fly past their displayview as the cannon blows Leatherback’s chest apart, and all of a sudden it’s no longer a struggle to hold the monster down as its thrashing ceases abruptly.

Felix and Dimitri pick themselves up, standing over the half-sunken body of the ruined Kaiju. Every muscle in Felix’s body feels like it’s on fire, adrenaline and the rush of battle the only things keeping him conscious and standing.

But it’s not over yet.

Dimitri starts to turn the Jaeger to look for Otachi, but Felix is hit with a wash of memory: _the Kaiju Knifehead sinking beneath the waves, presumably dead, but then as soon as Dimitri and Glenn turned around to leave it rose up again to attack them from behind and ripped the Jaeger in half—_

“Wait,” he says, and Dimitri pauses, looking over at him. “Let’s check for a pulse.”

Felix lifts his right arm and Dimitri does with him, and together they fire off three more rounds of the plasma caster into Leatherback’s head until it’s blown off completely. There’s no possibility of it surviving now.

“No pulse,” he announces calmly, satisfied.

“Felix,” Dimitri says in a warm voice, and Felix refuses to look over at him.

_Shut up,_ he thinks loudly. Dimitri’s rush of overwhelming fondness, however, is impossible to ignore in the drift, burning like the rest of Dimitri’s feelings for him. Felix holds it all at bay. _Not right now._

_I know,_ Dimitri answers him gently as they turn Areadbhar Aegis around. _As I said earlier. You don’t have to respond. I just want you to know that I love you._

_Idiot,_ Felix thinks as their gaze zeroes in on Otachi, recovered from its thrashing and circling around Daphnel Ruin. As if Dimitri can’t see Felix’s own tangle of thoughts and feelings regarding him. As if Dimitri doesn’t already know that despite everything, Felix never stopped loving him either.

“You guys only have two shots left in your plasma caster,” Hilda says over the comm, “and your dorsal thrusters are fried from that little stunt you pulled earlier, so be careful.”

“We can do this,” Dimitri says aloud, even as he thinks, _No more lance, either._

“Tch,” Felix says, scrolling through his command set on his control panel to see what other options he has left. _We don’t need a lance._

“Stay focused,” Byleth says. “Watch out for that tail and the acid.”

“Understood, Professor,” Dimitri says, and Felix moves with him as they begin to stride towards their final opponent.

As they draw nearer, it quickly becomes apparent why Otachi has refocused onto Daphnel Ruin and is prowling around the frozen Jaeger rather than rejoining the fight and attacking Areadbhar Aegis while they were still busy with Leatherback. Sylvain and Ingrid have crawled out of their Conn-Pod, standing open and exposed on top of their Jaeger’s head in their Drivesuits, looking more like tiny flies than people.

“Those stupid assholes,” Felix snarls as Sylvain shoots off another flare in a bright flash of light. He understands what they’re doing—they’re not aiming directly at Otachi, so as to not purposefully enrage the Kaiju, but rather just to hold the Kaiju’s attention and keep it distracted.

Still, it’s unbelievably dangerous. Otachi could lunge at them any moment. Sylvain and Ingrid are wide open and exposed where they stand. The Kaiju could snap them up in a single bite, or just knock them down into the ocean where they could freeze and drown or be trampled. It could all be over in less than a second.

“They’re doing it for us,” Dimitri says, but he picks up his pace and Felix has to quicken his own to keep up.

Otachi sees them coming, opening its jaws wide to let out a roar. The entire left side of its face is ruined, eyes scratched out from Dimitri’s lance strike, but it still has remaining eyes on its right side. Its tail arches up over its back, preparing to strike, and as they run Felix lifts their shield up into a guard position.

“Come on!” Dimitri shouts as they leap forward, clearing the last of the distance and ramming into Otachi at full speed, knocking it away from Daphnel Ruin.

Felix slams the shield into the Kaiju’s face, hissing when he feels Otachi spit a mouthful of acid all over his arm and hand. They grapple furiously for a moment, Felix and Dimitri throwing punches while Otachi lashes at them with its tail, trying to latch onto the Jaeger with its pincers. Dimitri fires off a shot of the plasma caster but it’s only a glancing blow, Otachi eeling to the side and the blast only clips its shoulder.

“Watch out!” Felix shouts as Otachi gathers its breath, the sac at its neck swelling with more acid.

With a snarl, Dimitri rams his fingers right into Otachi’s throat, intending to rip the sac clean out. For a moment Felix thinks he has it, but then Otachi’s tail arches all the way down over the top of the Kaiju’s head and latches onto Areadbhar Aegis’ head, squeezing.

Felix and Dimitri both yell in pain as the pincers crush down, the Conn-Pod’s lights flickering wildly and several warning alarms blaring as Otachi tugs, trying to behead their Jaeger entirely. Felix tries to slam his shield up to knock the tail off and away, but its grip on their head is absolute, crushing tighter and tighter.

“Dimitri!” he yells, the pressure in his skull nearly unbearable, and Dimitri slams a hand on one of the panels to his right.

Areadbhar Aegis flushes all its coolants at once out of its side vents, freezing Otachi’s tail solid in a rush of chemicals. Felix rams the shield upwards once more, and this time the Kaiju’s tail shatters on impact, breaking into pieces and falling away from their head, releasing them. In the same motion, Dimitri rips out the acid sac as they fall backwards, and Otachi screams.

Felix and Dimitri land with a mighty splash, disorientated. Felix feels blood dripping from his nose as they struggle to orient and right themselves, and across from him, Dimitri’s thoughts are equally woozy and exhausted. Before they can fully recuperate and stand, something heavy lands on top of them, crushing them back down, and Felix’s neck jolts painfully as they slam into the ocean floor.

Something wraps around his middle, squeezing, and then they’re being...lifted?

“Dimitri! Felix!” someone shouts in their ears, but everything seems so far away.

Felix shakes his head, trying to get his bearings. The whole world is sideways, and he hangs limply in the rig, helpless. Across from him, Dimitri groans, trying to move but also trapped. They’re no longer touching the ground at all, and their viewscreen shows the ocean far below them, and there’s the Shatterdome, and there’s the whole rest of Faerghus—

“This thing can fly?” he chokes out, coughing, trying to right himself again but he can’t move.

“It’s the Kaiju,” Dimitri says, lifting his head, “it has wings.”

Together they try to struggle, but Otachi’s grip is firm and their Jaeger is held fast in its claws. It continues to drag them higher and higher up into the sky, breaking through the clouds, and Felix is nearly blinded for a moment when the sunlight hits them full on.

“Dimitri, Felix, can you hear me?” Byleth says urgently, but their voice is faint, like they’re losing connection. “You’re at thirty thousand feet and climbing. You’re going to run out of oxygen if—” The transmission cuts with a fizzle of static.

“They’re right,” Dimitri says, tapping his display. His oxygen levels are already in the red, soon to be depleted. “I have one shot left with the plasma caster.” He pauses, swallows. “We might not survive dropping from this height.”

Felix takes a breath, in and out. They’re still climbing higher. The temperature both outside the Jaeger and inside is dropping quickly into the negatives. He can see the curvature of the earth now, all of Fódlan laid out beneath them like a map. “It doesn’t matter. We just have to kill it so it can’t get the others.”

_It does matter,_ Dimitri’s thoughts say, betraying him as he looks at Felix. _I want you to live I want you to live I want you to live._ He nods. “Right. Right.”

They raise their right arm together in unison, trembling with the effort as the toll of the battle catches up with them. The Jaeger lurches with every downbeat of Otachi’s wings, so it’s hard to aim properly as they twist their torsos as much as they can in the harness of the rig, and Areadbhar Aegis turns with them as much as it can in Otachi’s grip. Otachi’s chest comes into view, and they aim for its ribs, straining to line up the shot.

“It’s not charging,” Dimitri says, the control panel flashing a warning as the cannon in his arm’s palm sparks weakly, power draining away. Otachi knocks their arm aside with a talon, and they grunt with pain as they spin around to the front again.

“It’s too cold,” Felix says foggily. He reaches over to his panel, head dizzy from the low oxygen.

“We’re out of options,” Dimitri says, thoughts tinted with sorrow. “I’m sorry, Felix.”

“No,” Felix says as his panel flashes green, and he keys in the release command, “we have one last option.”

The shield in Areadbhar Aegis’ left arm retracts, folding back into its forearm. A panel in its palm slides open and a long length of chain whips out, lashing back and forth in midair before snapping into place and solidifying into one solid, long line with a sharp, honed edge. Felix grips the sword in his left hand, and feels Dimitri close his fist as well. It’s not his dominant hand, but it’ll do.

“Perfect,” Dimitri breathes, looking across the Conn-Pod at Felix, his eye shining brightly. _You can do it. You can do it._

Felix smiles grimly, and they draw back their left arms as he looks over to meet Dimitri’s gaze. _We can do it._ “For Glenn.”

_For Glenn,_ Dimitri echoes him, and they both open their mouths to let out fierce battle yells as they swing around and slam the sword into Otachi’s side with all of their combined strength, pulling all the way up together and slicing the Kaiju completely in half in one final, fatal blow.

Areadbhar Aegis flips over completely in midair, the two halves of the dead Kaiju falling away from the Jaeger on either side. For a single, dreamy moment, they hang suspended in midair, like they’re floating on top of the world.

Then they too begin to fall, plummeting back down towards the planet.

“We’re falling too fast!” Dimitri shouts over the blaring alarms, every single light in the Conn-Pod flickering to red to alert them of imminent danger. “We’re not going to survive impact!”

Felix glances through the readouts spitting across his screen. “We’re heating up too much, the hull is going to overheat and burn up!”

“—Aegis come in? Areadbhar Aegis do you copy?” Byleth’s voice crackles in Felix’s helmet as the ground draws closer and closer, the shipyard and the Shatterdome visible now as they plummet towards the water; they’re back within range of the comms. “Listen to me. Loosen all shock absorbers and purge your nuclear reactor to counteract your fall speed, it’s your only chance!”

Felix looks for Dimitri’s gaze again, catching his eye and nodding. Together they reach up to key in their pilot codes to do as Byleth’s said, even as the ground draws nearer.

“Burning fuel now!” Dimitri shouts, and they slam the last release in unison.

The nuclear core in the front of Areadbhar Aegis’ chest blows outwards, the force great enough to blast them upwards again for a few short seconds and create a cushion of hot air before they begin to fall again. Felix watches their fuel levels drain to zero in a matter of seconds, but the ocean is still thousands of feet away—hundreds of feet away—

“We’re still coming in too fast,” Dimitri yells, “brace for impact, Felix, brace for im—”

They hit the water with an almighty splash, slamming straight down into the ocean floor with a bone-rattling crunch. Areadbhar Aegis holds firm, and Felix opens his eyes at the same time Dimitri does, the viewscreen a wash of bubbles as the water boils around them. The Conn-Pod is nearly fried, sparks leaping off some of the panels and a few streams of salt water leaking down from the sides, but they’re still in one piece.

They’re alive.

Together they move as one to straighten, standing up to Areadbhar Aegis’ full, towering height with a screech of abused metal. On the other end of the comms, Felix hears the whole room in LOCCENT go wild with screaming and cheering as they emerge from the waves.

They’ve won.

“Felix, Felix, talk to me,” Dimitri rasps out, sounding like he’s been put through the wringer and then some. Felix can relate. “Are you alright?”

Felix can only pant at first, trying to catch his breath. “Yeah,” he answers, throat like sandpaper and his adrenaline from the fight still coursing through his veins. He turns his head towards Dimitri, looking at him through the flickering lights. “You?”

Dimitri huffs out a weak laugh, and for a moment Felix wants to ask him if he’s lost it, but then he’s also struck by the utter _ludicrousness_ of what they’ve just done together, everything they’ve just gone through, and he finds himself laughing weakly too. Maybe it’s because of the lack of oxygen, maybe it’s the relief of being alive. Maybe it’s the relief of Dimitri being alive, here together with him in victory.

Dimitri holds out a fist and without even thinking about it Felix reaches over to tap it with his own. “Never been better,” Dimitri says, smiling at him through his helmet visor slow and curling, the flames of his mind glowing with warmth. _Did you mean it that you’ve never stopped loving me?_

“Don’t ask stupid questions,” Felix tells him, but he can’t even muster up a bite to his voice. There’s no point in hiding it anymore. Of course he’s never stopped loving Dimitri, even throughout his years spent away from the Shatterdome thinking Dimitri didn’t want anything to do with him. Back then, it’d felt like a curse, that even the pieces of his broken heart couldn’t let go of the one who’d smashed it in the first place. Now as they look at each other from across the Conn-Pod of their Jaeger, minds connected through the drift, it merely feels as inevitable as the tides.

Dimitri has always been the unstoppable force to his immovable object; the relentless ocean waves crashing again and again against Felix’s rocky cliffs, heedless of his jagged edges. He doesn’t even need a millennia to wear Felix down; Felix already has a carved out space just for him in his soul, left empty for the past five years but now slowly beginning to fill again with Dimitri’s presence.

_I’m still mad at you,_ he thinks, but there’s no real conviction behind it.

_I know,_ Dimitri answers. Overhead, the retrieval helicopters have arrived, dropping their cables that will attach to Areadbhar Aegis and lift the Jaeger back up into the Shatterdome. _You should be. But I’ll prove one day I’m worthy of your forgiveness._

He doesn’t need to, and they both know it.

They’re both quiet as Areadbhar Aegis is brought back into the Shatterdome, with nothing to do but wait for the Jaeger to be secured in its bay. Felix nearly half-dozes in his harness, kept standing only by the fact that he’s locked into place, and Dimitri’s mind is equally sluggish and weary, their adrenaline from the battle long gone.

Finally, at long last, the Conn-Pod is hauled up from the Jaeger’s shoulders and the hull doors slide open, technicians swarming in to help them disengage from their harnesses and disconnect from the rig. They’re led across the gangway and down through the Drivesuit room, out into the hall where they’re greeted with a wall of noise; an entire crowd gathered to greet them, clapping and cheering, as they emerge.

At first Felix wants to turn right back around, wanting nothing to do with this level of attention, but Annette, Mercedes, Ingrid, and Sylvain push their way up to the front, still clad in their Drivesuits as well. All here, all alive.

“You did it!” Annette squeals, and then all four of them dogpile onto Felix and Dimitri, pulling them into one massive group hug.

“I’m so glad you’re alright!” Mercedes says with a bright laugh, squeezing them both tightly.

“You’ve really come together!” Ingrid adds, beaming.

“That’s my boys!” Sylvain shouts, pounding them on the back with one arm. His right arm is already wrapped in a sling; it must have been injured in the fight.

“I’m so glad everyone’s alright,” Dimitri says emotionally, his voice thick.

“Aw, Dimitri, don’t cry at us,” Sylvain teases him, but then pulls them all into another tight hug with his good arm.

“Stop it, I can’t breathe,” Felix says, shoving at them all, but there’s no way to escape where he’s crushed with his back against Dimitri’s chest and Annette plastered against his front, with Ingrid and Mercedes crowded in on either side.

“Nope, you’re not getting out of this,” Ingrid says firmly.

“Come on Felix,” Mercedes says gently, sounding like she’s trying not to laugh as she pats his head.

“Tell us you love us,” Sylvain orders, grinning down at him from behind Annette.

“What the fuck were you thinking, shooting flare guns at a Kaiju?” Felix snaps at him, because just the mere thought of it still makes his heart stop.

“We were thinking we were keeping that Kaiju off your pert ass,” Sylvain says smugly. “Now. Go on.”

Felix sighs deeply, but still. His relief at having all four of them back safe and sound is bottomless. “I’m very glad you stupid idiots aren’t dead.”

Annette giggles, resting her chin on his shoulder. “We love you too, Felix.”

“Yeah,” Felix says, finally allowing himself to relax just a tiny bit, while against his back Dimitri’s chest vibrates pleasantly as he chuckles, “I know.”


	8. Chapter 8

Aside from being alive, there isn’t much reason to celebrate. Lamine Crusher is almost completely destroyed, and will take weeks if not months to fully repair. With no Jaeger to pilot, Annette and Mercedes are officially grounded, and won’t be able to assist in the final mission to the breach.

Daphnel Ruin is in slightly better condition. Aside from the usual wear and tear from battling giant sea monsters, the biggest repair it needs is reattaching its severed right arm, which the helicopter crews were able to retrieve. The process will take significantly less time than the repairs needed on Lamine Crusher, but the fact of the matter remains that Sylvain’s broken arm will take far longer to heal properly than anything else. With a broken arm, he can’t pilot, and without her partner, neither can Ingrid—another Jaeger team grounded.

“It just means that we can divert all the engineers to working on repairing Areadbhar Aegis first,” Byleth explains calmly, seated behind their desk. All six of them are gathered in their office, and at first Dimitri had felt like they were settling in for a lesson—and they sort of had been, at first, since Byleth had initially taken the time to fill everyone else in on what had happened with Marianne and Lysithea’s explanation of her theories regarding the Kaiju. “With more people working on it, the repairs will be done in a day, maybe less.”

“But what does it matter if Dimitri and Felix are our only active team now?” Sylvain asks, somewhat bitterly. “Let’s face it, we got our asses handed to us today. It was pure luck that Areadbhar Aegis is old enough to not be affected by that damn electromagnetic blast, but next time the Kaiju might be programmed with something else that will take them out too.”

“Not to mention if we see another double event like this,” Mercedes says, worried. “We can’t keep pitting one Jaeger against multiple Kaiju. Even Dimitri and Felix wouldn’t be able to keep that up forever.”

Dimitri glances at Felix, who merely lifts an eyebrow at him in return. They’re in agreement, then. It’s not ideal, but if it means holding the Kaiju at bay, and keeping everyone else safe, they’d do it.

“We won’t be,” Byleth answers calmly. “We’ll just accelerate our timetable. The sooner we carry out our mission to attack the breach, the sooner this will all be over for good. Dimitri and Felix won’t have to fend off multiple Kaiju attacks if we’ve destroyed the portal.”

“We can’t send them down there alone,” Ingrid protests, but Byleth shakes their head.

“The Church’s Jaeger and pilots will be arriving later tonight. Two Jaegers will be all we need, as we only have one bomb ready right now as it is. One Jaeger will carry the bomb, and the other will run defense in case Kaiju attack on the way.”

“That’s _suicidal,_ ” Annette says, her eyes wide.

“It’s all we have left,” Byleth answers. They look to Dimitri and Felix. “I think it’s safe to assume that your fighting prowess is unmatched. You’ll be running defense while the Church’s Jaeger carries the bomb.”

“Agreed,” Dimitri says, while Felix mutters, “Damn straight.”

“Good.” Byleth looks at each of them in turn, one by one. “I’m proud of all of you. More than ever, after today.”

“Come on, Professor,” Sylvain says with a huff, quirking half a smile, “we didn’t do much and now we’re out of the fight.”

“You’ve done more than enough,” Byleth replies, quiet but firm. “You’re all dismissed, but Dimitri, Felix, a moment, if you please.”

The others shuffle out of the office, murmuring their goodbyes. Dimitri remains standing beside Felix, shoulder-to-shoulder in front of the Professor’s desk. Something between them has shifted, ever since the battle. They haven’t had much of a chance to talk one-on-one ever since their return to the Shatterdome, disengaged from the drift and no longer connected mind-to-mind, but Dimitri can still sense it. It’s like an electric current, invisible to the eye but nearly tangible in the way he’s been able to feel it thrumming between them all throughout the afternoon as they’d gone through the post-battle debriefing process, and then been checked over by Manuela for any lasting injuries.

It’s a tension between them, but whereas before it had been stiff and full of Dimitri’s awkwardness and Felix’s anger, now it’s evolved into something else entirely.

Byleth waits for the door to shut before they speak again. “I’m sorry to put all of this on you both. This was supposed to be a group mission, not a last-man-standing situation.”

“We can handle it,” Felix answers, calm and steady. Dimitri loves him so much it hurts.

“I know you can,” Byleth says, with one of their slight, amused smiles. “You’ve both come so far. I know you can see this through to the end.”

Belatedly, Dimitri realizes he’s clenching his fists so tightly his nails are biting into his palms. Slowly, he loosens his fingers. “Professor,” he says, hoping Byleth understands, “thank you for believing in me, after all this time. Thank you for believing in us.”

“Everyone always has,” Byleth says simply, smiling again. “It’s been a long road for both of you up to this point. Your paths diverged for a time. But you were able to come together again, and find each other in the drift.”

Dimitri looks at Felix, peering into his fathomless golden eyes. It’s hard to imagine just two short days ago he thought Felix was unreachable, more remote than the stars. Now he’s never understood another person better, nor has he been so fully understood by someone else. It’s a heady notion, to be so _known,_ right down to his very core, but it feels indisputably right that it’s Felix. It was always supposed to be Felix.

It was always supposed to be them, together, standing against the oncoming apocalypse.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Felix mutters, eyes darting away, but he doesn’t stomp off.

_I can’t help it,_ Dimitri wants to tell him, but he knows Felix wouldn’t appreciate that in front of the Professor.

“Get some rest for the night,” Byleth advises them, “we’ll reconvene in the morning.”

“Should we wait for the Church’s envoy to arrive?” Dimitri asks. “We still need to fill the pilots in on the plan.”

“I’ll handle it,” Byleth assures him. “They should be arriving soon, but you don’t need to worry about greeting them tonight. I need you both in top form tomorrow. Go to bed.”

“Yes, Professor.” Dimitri knows an order when he hears one, and he can’t find a fault in their logic. “See you in the morning.”

“Good night,” Byleth answers, and Dimitri holds the door open for Felix on their way out.

The hallway is quiet, which Dimitri supposes shouldn’t be surprising since everyone else is down in the main hangar, working overtime to get Areadbhar Aegis back into fighting shape. It’s only early evening, so the dinner shifts should be starting soon. Sylvain and the others are probably down in the cafeteria by now, expecting Dimitri and Felix to join them. Dimitri is tired—exhausted, even, after everything that’s happened today—but he’s not ready to sleep.

He looks to Felix, who watches him unblinkingly, waiting. Still here, still with him. “Will you come with me?” he asks, not wanting to assume, not even now.

“Yes,” Felix says, arms folded, and Dimitri leads him to the elevator.

They ride down in silence, but it’s not an uncomfortable one. Felix follows Dimitri down another hall and through a single doorway, down a cramped, narrow stairway and out onto a platform hanging off the side of the cliffs below the Shatterdome, overlooking the ocean. Dimitri walks over to the rusted railing, breathing in the cold, salty air, training his eye on the horizon as the sky deepens with the twilight of sunset.

“I used to come down here often,” Dimitri says as Felix joins him, stopping a foot or two away. He doesn’t know if it's a conscious choice or not on Felix’s part, or just mere chance, but he’s stayed to Dimitri’s left side all day, where Dimitri can see him without having to turn his head.

“I know,” Felix says. “Sylvain told me.”

“Yes,” Dimitri says with a small huff, watching the waves crash against the cliffs below, “he was often the one who would come to find me.” He rests both his hands on the railing, smoothing his palms over the cold metal.

“It should have been me.” Felix’s arms are tightly folded. “I should never have left.”

Dimitri blinks. “I all but drove you away.”

“So?” Felix demands. “I shouldn’t have let that get in the way of the mission here. I should have stayed and knocked some sense into you. I shouldn’t have left and let everyone else shoulder the burden of the fight.”

Once upon a time, Dimitri knows he wouldn’t have known what to say to any of this. He wouldn’t have known what Felix is really trying to say, behind his harsh words and tense frame.

But Dimitri has been inside Felix’s head. He’s seen Felix’s terror up close at watching their friends almost being torn to pieces by Kaiju. He’s seen Felix’s regret, buried beneath the anger. He’s seen how angry Felix is, not at Dimitri, but with himself.

“Everything’s easier to see in hindsight,” Dimitri says softly. “You were seventeen. You’d—”

“And _so were you,_ ” Felix says, glaring at him, and Dimitri understands now not to look away. “Shut up and listen. You’ve said your piece. I know you’re sorry. And—and I forgive you, alright? Enough. Now let me say mine.”

“I’m listening, Felix,” Dimitri says, hardly daring to blink.

Felix takes a sharp breath, in and out. He’s incandescent in the golden glow of the sunset, the most beautiful thing Dimitri has ever seen, and every word out of his mouth looks like it costs him five years of his lifespan apiece as he keeps his eyes fixed firmly on Dimitri’s hands. “I’m sorry for leaving when you needed me. I’m sorry for not being there for you. And _don’t_ —” he snaps, lifting his gaze to meet Dimitri’s again with another glare, “—try to tell me I’m wrong or that it doesn’t matter.”

“Alright,” Dimitri says, lifting his hands in a gesture of surrender, “alright.”

Felix glares at him a moment longer, as if to make certain, and then looks back out towards the ocean, cooling off again. “That’s all.”

Carefully, Dimitri takes a step closer to him, and Felix doesn’t move away. “Maybe we could have done things differently. Perhaps we couldn’t have at all. Grief doesn’t always manifest in songworthy ways. I lost my father and your brother. You lost Glenn too. We...both lost each other.”

“When did you get so wise,” Felix says flatly, but his anger’s burnt out and there’s no bite behind it. He doesn’t pull away when Dimitri lays a hand on his folded arms.

“I had a lot of time to think, when I stood out here,” Dimitri admits. “I forgive you, Felix.”

“Yeah, well,” Felix mutters, “good.”

Dimitri smiles. “And thank you.”

“Don’t get mushy.”

“We could die tomorrow, you know,” Dimitri says gently.

“So?” At this close of range, Felix has to tilt his head back slightly to look up at Dimitri challengingly. “Are you going to ask me to sit it out?”

“No,” Dimitri says heavily, “I know we don’t have a choice.”

“But if we didn’t?” Felix demands.

“In a heartbeat,” Dimitri answers honestly, and before Felix can get mad at him he continues, “but I know better now than to stop you anyway.”

It’s almost comical, the way Felix’s expression twists from boiling anger to having the wind taken completely from his sails before he can erupt. “Why does my life matter so much more to you than all the rest?”

“Don’t ask stupid questions,” Dimitri parrots at him teasingly, and Felix scowls. “Because I love you, Felix.” He’ll say it as many times as it takes for it to sink in.

“If you do,” Felix says, an odd note to his voice, “then stop trying to keep me from your side.”

For a moment, Dimitri can hardly draw in a breath, frozen by the implication behind Felix’s words. Felix unfolds his arms, slipping them out from beneath Dimitri’s touch and raising his hands to grip Dimitri gently by the sides of his face, bringing him down until their foreheads are pressed close together. Automatically Dimitri reaches up to gently cup Felix’s face too, peering down at him in the small, scant space left between them.

“You want me to live so badly, you still won’t even take my feelings into account,” Felix says, but he sounds tired rather than angry. “There’s not a world left for me to live in without you.”

Dimitri inhales sharply. “Felix—”

“Stop trying to take on the whole thing by yourself,” Felix interrupts him, but there’s a slight tremor to his voice now, and Dimitri’s heart has never beat this fast, not even in battle, “and let me be your partner like I’m supposed to be. Yeah, we could die tomorrow. At least it’d be together.”

“ _Felix_ —”

“I _hate_ that you’re making me say this out loud instead of through the drift,” Felix overrides him again, teeth clenched, “but I love you too, you stupid asshole.”

Dimitri doesn’t know who moves first. The kiss is raw, unpracticed and a touch desperate, one of Dimitri’s hands sliding from Felix’s face to cup the back of Felix’s head while Felix pulls Dimitri down even further to his level. It’s not a kiss that’s been only five years in the making; their whole lives have been building up to this exact point, the two of them coming together at last, everything laid bare. Dimitri is no longer aware of the freezing wind or the icy-cold railing digging into his side as they lean against it for support. All that matters is Felix, all that has _ever_ mattered is Felix, FelixFelixFelix, and his mouth against Dimitri’s and his tongue under—

They break apart for air. Dimitri is panting, his heart racing, nearly soaring. His blood _sings_.

Felix is pressed full-body up against Dimitri now, and it takes him a moment to catch his breath as well. “Are we clear?” he says, though his intended waspish tone is somewhat completely ruined by his breathlessness and overall disheveled look.

Dimitri can't resist touching his face again, cupping Felix’s cheek with one hand and privately half-marveling that he’s allowed to, that Felix is warm and solid in his arms. “Yes,” he says, hoping he doesn’t sound as dopey as he fears he might, as lovestruck as he is. He clears his throat, and asks one more time, even though just looking at Felix he already knows the answer. “Will you come with me, Felix?”

Felix rolls his eyes, using a puff of breath to blow a strand of hair out of his face. “Just take me to bed.”

Dimitri’s lips curl into a slow smile, stroking his thumb across the soft skin of Felix’s cheek. “As you wish.”

Fortunately, they haven’t spent much time down on the platform, so the halls are still empty and quiet as they make their way back to the nearest elevator. Dimitri holds Felix’s hand, and it feels bold, even in the empty hallways, like a secret they’re daring to flaunt, even though, rationally, he knows hardly anyone in the Shatterdome would be surprised at two paired Jaeger pilots canoodling. They’re hardly the first set of copilots to develop deeper feelings for one another after sharing such an intimate connection as the drift.

Their feelings, however, precede the drift by a few solid years.

Stepping into the empty lift, Dimitri presses the button for the level of the pilot quarters as Felix stands beside him. The doors slide shut slowly.

As soon as the doors click shut and the elevator begins to rise, Dimitri turns abruptly and scoops Felix up off the ground, hardly giving him time to yelp in protest, pressing him back against the wall and kissing him again hungrily. Felix bats at his shoulder once in token objection but he kisses Dimitri back, settling his arms around Dimitri’s shoulders to hold onto him, fingers sliding into the hair at Dimitri’s nape to tug lightly at the strands, and Dimitri shudders.

“Control yourself, anyone could get on,” Felix says when they part, his lips shiny and his cheeks flushed. He doesn’t push Dimitri away, however, leaning back against the wall Dimitri holds him up against and comfortably limp in his arms. He’s easy to hold, fitting against Dimitri like a puzzle piece.

“You said so yourself,” Dimitri murmurs, tilting his head forward until their foreheads knock together lightly, as close as they can be without kissing, “we could die tomorrow. I don’t care if someone tries to get on.”

Felix snorts. “You just want to make out like teenagers,” he says, but leans in for another kiss.

By the time the elevator has reached their stop, luckily without interruption, Dimitri is practically dizzy with the taste of Felix and his desire for him, half-hard in his pants. Still, he’s careful as he sets Felix down again, always aware of his own strength, and sticks his head out into the hallway before taking Felix’s hand again and leading the way out.

“The coast is clear,” he announces, and Felix rolls his eyes at him again but allows himself to be led.

Dimitri’s room isn’t far. He stays in a standard-sized room for pilots, which means he and Felix barely have room to stand facing one another after Dimitri’s locked the door behind them. Dimitri has to press full-body against Felix to reach past him and click on the lamp at the desk, filling the room with a warm, ambient glow.

It makes Felix look softer, somehow, even though Dimitri knows he’s anything but. “Are you tired, Felix?” he asks, his hands ghosting along Felix’s hips.

Felix cocks an eyebrow at him. The tension between them, the electric current Dimitri has been able to feel ever since they stepped out of the Conn-Pod, is practically crackling with electricity like a livewire. “Not yet.”

“Good,” Dimitri says, reaching down to begin pulling off his boots.

Felix mirrors him, and they begin to undress. It’s a bit of an exercise in flexibility as they get out of their clothes while crowded so close together, and it’s certainly not helped by how Dimitri can hardly take his eye off Felix as more and more of his lithe, trim body is revealed. Felix sees him staring and huffs out a breath, reaching over to tug Dimitri’s shirt the rest of the way off from where he’d paused, too captivated to remember what he’d been doing.

“Hurry up,” Felix says, and Dimitri chuckles as he undoes his belt to shuck off his pants.

“We may be on a deadline tomorrow,” he says, crowding even closer to Felix once he straightens, “but right now, we have all the time in the world.”

“Sap,” Felix says, but allows Dimitri to back him up the two extra steps it takes to get to the bed and bear him down gently onto the sheets.

“Is that so bad,” Dimitri wonders as he crawls on top of Felix, looming over him. He doesn’t wait for an answer, ducking down to mouth at Felix’s throat, as he slowly lowers his body down onto Felix’s, settling atop him and pressing skin-to-skin. Felix’s legs slide apart to accommodate him, cradling Dimitri’s hips.

“Dimitri,” Felix breathes out as Dimitri trails wet, openmouthed kisses down to the juncture of his neck and shoulder. Felix lifts his arms up to slide his hands along Dimitri’s back, tilting his head just enough to the side to give Dimitri better access.

Sucking lightly at Felix’s skin, Dimitri gives a slow, experimental roll of his hips, and they both shudder as their cocks brush together, a frisson of electricity jolting up Dimitri’s spine.

“I just want to show you how much I love you,” Dimitri murmurs as he pulls away from Felix’s throat, shifting beneath Felix’s hands as they continue to rove along his back and shoulders.

“I already know,” Felix answers, looking up at him through golden, slitted eyes.

“Even so,” Dimitri says, reaching over to the rickety bedside stand and pulling open the drawer. He has to fish around inside for a moment before he’s able to retrieve the small tube of lube he’s searching for, popping the cap off with his thumb and nudging the drawer shut again. “I want to tell you again and again.”

Felix rolls his hips up, and Dimitri lurches with a small groan, his cock jumping with pleasure. Felix smirks up at him. “Then I’m listening.”

Dimitri can’t help but smile back, his heart full to bursting. “My Felix,” he says, reaching down to gently tug the tie out of his hair, so inky and black it’s nearly blue where it fans out across the sheets. “The truth is,” he admits as he squeezes out a dollop of lube and rubs it between his fingers on one hand to warm it up, “I love you even more than I could ever say.”

“We have the drift,” Felix says, shifting on the bed beneath him. When Dimitri reaches down between them to run an exploratory finger around his hole, his eyes flicker shut for a moment. “I _know_ you, Dimiri.”

It’s a heady feeling, to understand what Felix is saying, all while touching him so intimately. “Then I’ll settle for showing you,” Dimitri says, and gently slides a finger inside him.

Felix’s mouth parts as Dimitri slowly works his finger back and forth slowly, watching him from above even as he shifts to brace himself on one arm so he’s not in danger of crushing Felix beneath him. Felix goes slack, eyes half-lidded and his legs falling open wider as Dimitri touches him, adding a second finger with more slick to ease the initial burn.

“Don’t you dare stop,” Felix commands in a surprisingly strong voice when Dimitri pauses, wanting to give him a moment to process.

“As you wish,” Dimitri says, leaning down to kiss him soothingly. He scissors his fingers inside Felix gently, stretching Felix open and making him shudder, rocking against Dimitri almost mindlessly. Dimitri’s cock, caught aching with need between their bellies, smears a glistening trail of precome across their skin, and they gasp into each other’s mouths.

“Dimitri,” Felix says as Dimitri carefully adds a third finger, sounding strained, and the sound goes straight to Dimitri’s cock but he holds his wrist completely still.

“Tell me if it’s too much,” he says, but Felix digs his fingers into Dimitri’s shoulders where he holds on.

“It’s not _enough,_ ” he growls, biting at Dimitri’s lips, and Dimitri laughs into a messy kiss, pushing his fingers deeper into Felix and hooking them right against his prostate. Felix wrenches free of their kiss to swear, his hips jerking up again helplessly, fucking himself on Dimitri’s fingers, and Dimitri pants with desire as he watches Felix move.

“Fee,” he says, quivering and trying not to lose his balance and fall on top of him, “I need—I need you—”

“I’m ready,” Felix says breathlessly, twisting beneath Dimitri with his fingers still inside him. “But first—may I?”

At first Dimitri isn’t sure what he means, but then Felix shakily lifts his hands to rest on the sides of Dimitri’s face, one finger slipping carefully beneath the slim band of his eyepatch.

“Oh,” Dimitri says, carefully sliding his fingers out of Felix. Felix shivers, but he doesn’t break eye contact, looking up at Dimitri steadily even through his arousal. “I didn’t think you’d want to—it’s not pretty.”

“You don’t have to,” Felix tells him, his voice slightly hoarse. “But you don’t have to hide it from me.”

Dimitri hesitates a moment longer, then nods his head once. Carefully, Felix lifts the eyepatch off his head, and Dimitri takes it with his clean hand to set carefully on the bedside stand. Then he forces himself to meet Felix’s gaze again, trying not to hold his breath as he searches for Felix’s reaction.

Felix looks at him steadily for a few long moments, his eyes roving across Dimitri’s face. Dimitri’s not sure what he’s expecting—disgust? Revulsion? He’s avoided looking in the mirror himself without the eyepatch on just because he knows how brutal the scarring is.

“I’m glad you didn’t get a glass eye,” Felix says at length, and Dimitri blinks at him with his remaining eye.

“It doesn’t bother you?”

Felix scoffs. “Why would it? Now fuck me.”

Dimitri lets out a laugh, and even Felix quirks up the corner of his mouth as Dimitri leans down to kiss him. As they deepen the kiss, Dimitri feels Felix reach up and pull his own hair tie out too, so Dimitri’s hair falls down loose around his shoulders. Even having seen firsthand for himself just how much Felix loves him, Dimitri’s still left reeling with how lucky he feels.

Squeezing out more lube into his hand, Dimitri slicks his cock up as much as possible, gritting his teeth against the nearly overwhelming urge to come right now, all over Felix as he watches Dimitri touch himself, pupils blown wide. Dimitri lines himself up carefully with Felix’s hole, holding Felix’s legs open wide by the thighs, and then slowly but surely sinks down in.

“ _Dima,_ ” Felix gasps out as Dimitri pushes in deep, and it takes all of Dimitri’s might not to thrust down into the tight, wet heat at the sound.

“Goddess, Felix,” Dimitri groans, pressing forward until he bottoms out, his balls flush against Felix’s ass, “so tight—”

“Move,” Felix answers breathlessly, hips twitching where he’s pinned down by Dimitri’s cock buried all the way inside him, “move, I want, I need—”

His voice cuts out when Dimitri obeys, pulling back only to snap his hips forward again, making them both gasp. His movements grow steadier after that, fucking down into Felix with a steady rhythm as he drives them both closer and closer towards the edge, bracing himself with both arms on either side of Felix’s head. Felix grips Dimitri’s forearms tightly, rocking up to meet him on every thrust, and Dimitri is dizzy with both need and fulfillment all at once, his head spinning as they pant in their shared breathing space, eyes locked and unable to look away, enraptured by each other.

Dimitri thrusts forward, burying his cock as deeply as it can go even as he sits up, sliding one hand back to grip Felix’s leg and hike it up into the air. On his back beneath Dimitri, Felix quivers, vibrating with near-tangible need and gazing up at Dimitri as his lips move soundlessly, silent pleas for completion.

“I love you,” Dimitri tells him, every last bit of crackling desire sparking through his bones like lightning itself, searing with nearly overwhelming potency—he loves Felix, heart and soul, and every atom in between. He loves Felix enough to die for him, die _with_ him, tomorrow, if it comes to it.

“I know,” Felix answers, chest heaving with exertion, the soft glow of the lamplight reflected in his eyes. “It’ll never be a question again.”

Dimitri surges down to kiss him, pressed together close enough to nearly meld into one. They come together, Felix painting white stripes across both of their chests with a cry while Dimitri’s hips stutter as he shakes apart inside Felix, dropping his hold on Felix’s leg while he pushes forward to fill Felix with hot, wet come and collapsing down on top of him, completely spent. His heart races, his entire body thrumming as he pants, pressing his face into Felix’s shoulder.

For a few long moments that feel more like minutes, Dimitri can’t quite bring himself to move even though he knows he must be crushing Felix. Felix doesn’t complain, however, and eventually Dimitri feels him slide a hand up to slowly run his fingers through Dimitri’s hair idly.

Dimitri hums, listening to both of their heartbeats slowing. “Feels good.”

“Hard to breathe,” Felix answers, but he doesn’t push Dimitri off.

Dimitri turns his head sideways to nuzzle at Felix, brushing his nose against Felix’s neck and chin until Felix finally turns his head as well to kiss him, slow and lazy. Finally Dimitri carefully pushes himself up, lifting his body off of Felix’s and gently pulling out of him. A small stream of come dribbles out of Felix’s ass now that Dimitri’s cock is out of the way, and Dimitri sees him shiver at the sensation.

“I’ll get something to clean you up,” he offers, trying to maneuver himself around on the bed to get to where he can stand up, but his limbs are shaky and clumsy, and he nearly faceplants, which makes Felix snort.

“Go in a few minutes,” he says around a yawn, batting at Dimitri lightly, “just stay for a moment.”

Dimitri’s happy to oblige, sinking back down beside him on the bed and pulling him close, tangling their limbs together. “Now I’m never getting up.”

Felix huffs out a small, dry laugh. “Whatever.” His head is pillowed on Dimitri’s shoulder, his eyes already shut, curled into Dimitri as close as possible. “I’ll let you get away with it this time.”

_This time,_ Dimitri thinks as he tugs a blanket over them to keep the cold at bay. He wants to stay like this forever, loving and being loved by a Felix who can laugh and smile in his bed. _This time_ could even insinuate that there will be more times in the future, that they have many more nights just like this one ahead of them. Dimitri wants it to be so, nearly aching for it as he gently strokes Felix’s hair.

It all comes down to tomorrow, and whether or not they, or Faerghus, or even all of the rest of Fódlan, will have a future at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please reference again the _full comic_ **YinYoru** has done for a scene in this chapter [here on twitter](https://twitter.com/yin_yoru/status/1320225918632267777?s=20)!


	9. Chapter 9

Seteth is a severe man with a serious face, but his voice is calm and his handshake steady when he greets them the following morning when Felix and Dimitri report down to the main hangar at Byleth’s summons. He’s a lot older than Felix was expecting, for a pilot, but once he has this first thought, his second is to wonder if Seteth only seems so old because of the dismal survival rate of the pilot program in the first place.

On the total opposite end of the spectrum, however, is Seteth’s copilot, and, as it turns out, younger sister.

“Oh hello, I’m so very pleased to finally make your acquaintances,” Flayn says after they’ve been introduced, her smile bright enough to power half the Shatterdome. “I’m so very much looking forward to working with you on this mission.”

“Are you even old enough to be a pilot?” Felix demands.

“Felix,” Dimitri murmurs.

Flayn frowns at him, her cheeks puffing out. “It’s quite rude to ask a lady’s age, you know.”

“I’m calling you young, not old,” Felix points out. “You look like you belong in middle school.” What in Seiros’ name is the Church thinking, putting a child in a Jaeger?

Flayn _hmphs,_ folding her arms. “I’ll have you know I’m much older than you think,” she says loftily, “so you should mind your manners.”

“He meant no offense,” Dimitri intervenes, dialing up his princely charm to gag-inducing levels. “You must be very skilled to have been selected by the Church.”

Rather than listen to Dimitri schmoozing, Felix stalks over to where Seteth and Byleth stand near the railing overlooking the Church’s Jaeger. The engineering crews have pulled an overnighter in order to reassemble the Jaeger from where it had been partially deconstructed in order to transport it from the monastery to the Shatterdome, but now it stands tall and proud in the bay next door to Areadbhar Aegis’. There’s an odd, bulky pod on its back that seems out of place, its paint job not congruent with the rest of the Jaeger’s body, but then Felix realizes: it’s Byleth’s bomb, meant to be used to blow up the breach.

“—be certain that this operation will be successful?” Seteth is saying, studying Byleth piercingly.

“Our top mage has run the calculations herself,” Byleth answers. “The explosive force of the bomb will be enough to disrupt the magic of the portal. If you deploy it in the right spot, it will destroy the breach and close it.”

“The right spot,” Seteth echoes. “I assume that’s why you want to use a Jaeger to carry it down to the trench, rather than dropping it from a ship?”

“Yes,” Byleth agrees, “not to mention it’s almost certain Kaiju will emerge to protect the portal once you get close.” They smile beguilingly, eyes crinkling. “That’s what Felix and Dimitri are for.”

“I see,” Seteth says, casting a measuring look at Felix.

“Not getting cold feet, are you?” Felix asks him, folding his arms.

“Hardly,” Seteth says, almost dry. “We understand how paramount this mission is. We knew the risks when Lady Rhea asked our thoughts on volunteering.”

He sounds sincere enough for Felix’s hackles to drop, just a little. “Your sister is young.”

“My sister…” Seteth says slowly, moving his gaze to Flayn and Dimitri where they’re still having an animated conversation where Felix left them. “...knows what she is doing.” He sounds almost wistful now, a forlorn undercurrent to his words, but there’s a hint of pride as well.

“Professor!” Lysithea jogs up, slightly out of breath. “It’s happening. Two Kaiju have emerged from the portal, but I didn’t sound the alarm yet because they haven’t made any movements away from the breach. It’s like they’re guarding it.” She pauses, takes a breath. “It’s like they know.”

“Has there been any word from Manuela about Marianne?” Byleth asks, calm but intent.

“No, there’s been no change. She hasn’t woken up yet.”

“What category are the Kaiju?” Dimitri asks, he and Flayn coming over to join their gathered group. He steps up close beside Felix, slotting into the space next to him like he was made to fit there.

“Both Category IV,” Lysithea said grimly. “You’re in for a hell of a fight.”

“It’s no less than we expected,” Byleth says.

“Actually it is,” Lysithea says, chagrined, “because if we were really right, there would have been three Kaiju that emerged down there this time, since we already saw our double event last time.” She frowns. “I don’t know why there’s only two.”

“I’ll take being wrong about three if it means only two,” Byleth says, amused. Their eyes flicker across each of them one by one. “Time to suit up. There’s no point in waiting any longer. The Jaegers are ready, and so are the Kaiju.”

A thrill of anticipation runs down Felix’s spine. This is it. They’re really going to do this. One last decisive blow that could bring an end to all of it.

“Lysithea, before you sound the alarm, please call for everyone to gather in the hangar,” Dimitri says from beside Felix, solemn and tense. “If the Kaiju aren’t leaving the trench, we have a little time.”

Lysithea glances at Byleth, who nods. “You got it. Give me two minutes.” She runs off, back down the way she came from.

“Shall we?” Byleth says to Seteth and Flayn, gesturing them towards the elevator that will take them down to the ground floor of the hangar.

“What’re you doing?” Felix asks Dimitri as they follow after them, narrowing his eyes at him.

“This is our last ever mission,” Dimitri answers him quietly, setting a warm and heavy hand on Felix’s lower back, “and our success or failure will determine the fate of everyone here. It’s only right to address everyone before we leave.”

Felix can think of a snide comment or two in answer to that, but he swallows them back as they step into the lift with Byleth, Seteth, and Flayn. Dimitri is still solemn, but he seems more pensive than afraid as they begin their descent, head bowed in thought and his hand still pressed against Felix’s back. Felix watches him think, not connected to him mind-to-mind again yet but able to guess the tenor of his thoughts nonetheless.

There’s a strong possibility they won’t come back from this mission, even if Seteth and Flayn are successful. Dimitri wants to say goodbye.

It doesn’t take long for everyone in the Shatterdome to gather in the hangar once Lysithea puts out the order over the intercom. In the vast space, gathered at the feet of the towering Jaegers, the group looks tiny despite there being upwards of two hundred people; humanity’s last hope, dwarfed by their own design. Felix stands off to the side with Seteth and Flayn, allowing Dimitri and Byleth to take center stage and the forefront of everyone’s attention, eyes roving over all the familiar faces standing towards the front; Annette, Mercedes, Ingrid, Sylvain, Ashe, Hilda—

“The time has come for us to carry out our final mission,” Byleth begins, raising their voice, and the crowd instantly quiets. “Two Category IV Kaiju emerged from the breach several minutes ago, and they’re waiting for us at the portal. Our two Jaegers, and our four pilots, are prepared to make the trip down to meet them. If this mission is successful, the portal will be destroyed and we won’t have another Kaiju attack ever again.”

The crowd cheers, energy and spirits high. Byleth gestures to Dimitri, stepping back to allow him the floor, and Felix watches his shoulders straighten, proud and strong, as all faces turn to him. He’s never had a crowning ceremony, despite how his father died five years ago, but right now, in this moment, that doesn’t matter at all: Dimitri is their king.

“At the edge of our hope,” Dimitri says, his voice deep and resounding, carrying to every corner of the hangar as the crowd quiets again to listen with rapt attention, “at the edge of our time, we have chosen not only to believe in ourselves but in each other. We have persisted through terrible losses, and hard-won triumphs, and we’re all still together. And that...that has made us strong.”

Felix thinks he could hear a pin drop as everyone listens, even as his heart thuds in his chest.

“Today there’s not a single person in here that will stand alone,” Dimitri says, his voice beginning to rise in volume. “Today we will face the monsters at our door and bring the fight to them.” He lifts a fist, raising it high into the air. “Today we are cancelling the apocalypse!”

This time the crowd roars, answering his call to battle in kind, fists raised high and the Shatterdome nearly trembling with the might of their cheers. Everyone breaks into action after that, swarming to their stations to prepare the Jaegers for their last launch, and Felix finds himself swept along in the fray, shuttled off with Dimitri back to the elevator that will take them back up to the Drivesuit Room.

“Don’t laugh,” Dimitri says once the doors have slid closed, the noise outside cut off as they begin to rise. They’re alone, Seteth and Flayn already on their way up to their own Jaeger.

“I wasn’t going to,” Felix says primly, staring straight ahead.

“Oh?” Dimitri asks, and Felix doesn’t have to look at him directly to know he’s smiling. “So it wasn’t that bad? Not too cheesy?”

“Of course it was cheesy,” Felix says, rolling his eyes. “ _‘Cancelling the apocalypse?’_ Really?”

“But?” Dimitri prods, still sounding amused.

“But it was what everyone needed to hear,” Felix admits as the elevator comes to a stop. “So you get a pass for reading the room.”

“Thank you, Felix,” Dimitri says with a small chuckle, taking his hand before Felix can flow out of the elevator too fast to be caught and threading their fingers together, “that’s very generous of you.”

“Oh shut up,” Felix says as the doors slide open, and then he stops.

Rodrigue stands out in the hallway, waiting just outside the door to the Drivesuit Room, both hands resting on his cane in front of him. His eyes flicker down to their linked hands, there and gone, but he merely clears his throat and says, “Dimitri, that was a very inspired speech. Well done.” He must have remained to listen up in LOCCENT before making his way down to meet them here.

Felix feels Dimitri hesitate for a fraction of a second, perhaps waiting for Felix himself to react, but then his grip gently tightens on Felix’s hand and he steps out of the elevator with Felix in tow, hands still linked. “Thank you, Rodrigue.”

“Felix,” Rodrigue begins, somewhat more carefully, and Felix can only look at him, gripping Dimitri’s hand. “Felix. I wanted—well, what I wanted to say was—”

“It’s alright,” Felix hears himself say, and he’s surprised to find it’s true. His feelings regarding his father are a complicated swirl in his stomach, but looking at him right now, in this very moment, Felix can’t entirely bring himself to feel the same level of anger as usual. “We can talk after.”

“After,” Rodrigue repeats slowly, as if testing the word out. Felix knows he knows the percentage of their chance of survival. Rather than bring it up, Rodrigue smiles. It’s faint and rueful, but for the first time in a long time, he’s looking at Felix. Only Felix. “You know, when you’re used to the drift...there’s a point where you feel like there’s nothing to talk about. It’s not true, of course. Some things are always meant to be said out loud.”

“Okay,” Felix says. Perhaps in another time, he’d snap at him how this conversation is too little, too late, but Felix knows what a goodbye is.

Glenn never got to say goodbye to either of them. They can have this for him, even if Felix doesn’t know what to say at all.

“I’m proud of you,” Rodrigue says simply, and then steps aside so they can pass. They’re through the doorway and on their way down the hall when he calls after them, “Dimitri.”

Dimitri stops, and thus Felix is forced to pause as well, turning back to look at Rodrigue one last time where he watches them walk away.

“That’s my son you’ve got there,” Rodrigue says, chin up and shoulders straight, but his voice brims with emotion and Felix’s heart clenches in his chest. “My son.”

Dimitri bows his head low in acknowledgement. “I know,” he says, and Rodrigue nods once before leaving them, limping out of sight.

Felix doesn’t let go of Dimitri’s hand until they come to the split in the hallway, where they’ll have to part to change into their Drivesuits. “I’m fine,” he says, because he knows Dimitri wants to ask. This doesn’t change anything.

“I know you are,” Dimitri murmurs, and Felix blinks when Dimitri brushes a kiss against his brow. “I’ll see you in the Conn-Pod.”

Felix is quiet as the techs help him into his Drivesuit, allowing them to manhandle him as they need in order to get him ready. When they hand him his helmet, he doesn’t spare the room a backwards glance as he immediately makes for the narrow gangway leading out to Areadbhar Aegis’ Conn-Pod, ducking through the hatch.

He’s not surprised to find Dimitri beat him inside, still sporting his deeply contemplative look as he pretends to examine one of the control panels while his thoughts are clearly miles away. Felix marches up to him and jabs a finger into his chest, glaring at him when Dimitri looks up at him in mild surprise.

“We’re going to live,” Felix says, “so stop moping and focus.”

Dimitri smiles. “Of course. You’re right, Felix.”

“I’m always right.”

“Yes,” Dimitri agrees, a tad too solemnly, “I’m beginning to suspect you are.”

Felix socks him lightly in the chest. “We’re going to win. You and I are going to come home, and you’re going to be king.”

“And you, Felix?” Dimitri asks, gently amused, but his eyes are still serious, peering at Felix intently.

“What about me.”

“Well if I’m going to be king after all this,” Dimitri answers, “what are you going to do?”

“Don’t ask stupid questions,” Felix tells him, whirling around to stomp over to his side of the rig, and uses the excuse of having his back turned to hide his quick smile when he hears Dimitri give a small laugh.

The techs come in to help them get hooked up to the rig, performing a few last-minute adjustments. Felix puts his helmet on and breathes through the Relay Gel, and as soon as the techs leave and the hatch is sealed, he and Dimitri brace themselves for the drop. In only a matter of moments, their Jaeger is ready for battle.

“Initiating neural handshake,” Hilda announces, and this time Felix allows the drift to crest over him like a wave, pulled smoothly into the depths of Dimitri’s mind without any resistance at all.

_There you are,_ Dimitri thinks fondly, and Felix rolls his eyes but doesn’t push him away. Where once being connected to Dimitri mind-to-mind was repulsive, now it’s comforting.

Even if Dimitri is determined to be ridiculous about it.

“Nothing to do now but sit tight for 30 minutes,” Byleth says as Areadbhar Aegis gives a jolt. “We’ll be monitoring your vitals, but otherwise we’ll check in with you once you reach the drop zone.”

“Understood,” Dimitri answers, and the comm link goes quiet, the connection cut for now.

The plan, as far as it goes, is for Areadbhar Aegis and the Church’s Jaeger, Cethleann Assal, to be carried by helicopter out across the ocean to approximately where the trench lies. Once there, the Jaegers will drop from the carrying cables, and sink all the way down to the bottom of the sea. If their positioning is good, they won’t have too far to walk to reach the breach and the portal, and Areadbhar Aegis will keep the Kaiju busy while Cethleann Assal will get into position to launch the bomb into the portal to destroy it.

Simple. Foolproof.

The Kaiju waiting for them could destroy them all before they even get close to the breach.

_They won’t,_ Felix thinks fiercely at Dimitri when he catches the thought. _We can beat them._

_Together,_ Dimitri agrees. _Together we can do anything, Felix._ He reaches a hand across the Conn-Pod towards Felix. “I will see to it that you return home.”

“And you’ll be right there with me,” Felix tells him pointedly, but he reaches back, gripping Dimitri’s hand. The apparatus of the rig keeps them separated just far enough where this is the best they can reach each other while they’re hooked in, but it’s enough. _You’re going to be king. Faerghus needs you._

_And I need you,_ Dimitri thinks. _I need you at my side, now and always._

_And that’s where I’ll be,_ Felix answers. Maybe his father was right after all about it being easier to keep things in the drift rather than say them aloud, but Felix knows this much to be true: he can’t imagine any other future than one where he’s at Dimitri’s side. It’s where he’s always wanted to be.

“I love you,” Dimitri says, his single eye gleaming as he gazes across the Conn-Pod at Felix. His grip on Felix’s hand would hurt if Felix weren’t squeezing his hand back just as tightly.

Dimitri already knows Felix’s answer, can read it straight from Felix’s mind right now, but: still. “I love you too,” Felix says out loud, since it’s just the two of them, and then he’s momentarily taken aback by how Dimitri’s mind lights up like a sunrise when he hears Felix say it.

The rest of the flight out to the trench passes in a blur. True to Byleth’s word, it takes about half an hour for the helicopters to fly them across the ocean to the drop point, but to Felix the trip feels like it takes five minutes. Their viewscreens are on, giving them a near-panoramic view of the sea and sky around them, Cethleann Assal suspended by its own helicopter detail off to their right, but Felix hardly pays attention to anything other than Dimitri.

They concentrate on synching their breathing, in and out, in and out, until Felix imagines even their hearts are beating exactly in time. They clear their heads, pushing away memories, thoughts about the future, worries about the now, until it’s just the two of them, honed to the point of absolute focus and serenity.

Felix can see Dimitri down to the core, and in turn, Dimitri can see all of him. Byleth always used to tell them, back when they were cadets, that compatibility was a dialogue, not just a physical match based on their combat scores. What they never said, or perhaps left for them to find out and discover for themselves, was the level of understanding it took to see one another so wholly and completely. The drive to want to know, and be known in return.

Felix doesn’t think he could bear it if it was anyone other than Dimitri.

_It’s me,_ Dimitri confirms, his words like ripples in their pond of calm. _I’ve got you._

_I know,_ Felix answers, with something like relief.

“Two minutes out,” Byleth’s voice crackles through the comms, bringing them back to the physical. “We have a little company in LOCCENT.”

“How’s the flight been, boys?” Sylvain asks. “You ready for a little swim?”

“What he means to say is we came to wish you luck,” Ingrid butts in. “Not that we think you’ll need it.”

“Yeah, you guys will do great!” Annette adds. “You’ve already taken on two Kaiju at once, after all!”

“We’ll be right here the whole time,” Mercedes says kindly. “Everyone’s cheering you on. Dedue said to tell you good luck, too.”

“Thank you all,” Dimitri says with a smile. “I’m glad you’re here. Felix is too.”

“Is he, though?” Sylvain asks teasingly. “I don’t hear him.”

“I’m glad you’re all here,” Felix says loudly, making sure they can hear how he’s rolling his eyes.

“I just wish we could be there with you,” Annette admits. “In our Jaegers, to help with the mission.”

“Me too,” Ingrid says softly.

“It’s like the Professor said,” Felix answers as offhandedly as he can muster. Truth be told, he’s glad they’re all back in the Shatterdome. Safe. “You’ve done your part. It’s our turn now.”

“I don’t think that’s quite how it works,” Mercedes says, but she sounds amused. “Either way, please be careful.”

“We will,” Dimitri assures her, and there’s a small jolt as the Jaeger’s forward motion is stopped, the helicopters carrying them slowing to a hover. “We’ll see you all again soon.”

“Holding you to that, buddy,” Sylvain answers, and he’s trying to sound casual but Felix can hear the slight strain in his voice.

“Areadbhar Aegis, Cethleann Assal,” Byleth says, “prepare to submerge.”

Felix reaches up to flick the offput switches. “Closing all vents. All ports sealed.”

“Cethleann Assal ready,” Seteth’s voice comes over the comm. “Disengaging from transport.”

“Areadbhar Aegis disengaging from transport,” Dimitri echoes him, pressing the release button.

There’s a loud snap as the thick cables attached to their Jaeger’s body break loose, and they plunge downwards. It’s a short drop, nothing at all like the leap from the Shatterdome, and they hit the water feet first, immediately beginning to sink. At first their viewscreen is a wash of bubbles from their splash, but soon they peter out and Felix watches the world grow darker and darker outside as the light from the surface fades away as they sink down into the deep.

“Three thousand meters down to the trench,” Hilda reports. “Two Kaiju still circling the breach, and have not left the quadrant. Both Category IV, code names Scunner and Raiju.”

“Roger that,” Dimitri answers.

“Visibility is zero,” Flayn reports, “even with our floodlights. Switching to instruments.”

“Copy that,” Felix says, toggling on their own systems. Their viewscreens flicker, changing from the black, empty ocean to the radar view, giving them approximations of the rocky formations on the fast-approaching ocean floor, as well as the widening chasm that can only be the trench.

“Remember, the last two Kaiju were invisible on the radar,” Ingrid says, “so be careful.”

“We’ve been able to keep tabs on these two so far,” Hilda answers her, “so I think stealth is out this time. They’re ready for a fight.”

“All the more reason to be cautious,” Byleth says. “Keep a sharp eye.”

“Understood, Professor,” Dimitri says.

They touch down on the ocean floor with a small bump, no longer in freefall. Cethleann Assal lands not far from them, the outline of the Jaeger showing up clearly on their viewscreen, and together they begin to walk through the basalt stacks towering all around them towards the open yawn of the trench. Felix doesn’t think about all the pressure of the ocean water around them, slowing their movements and eager to crush them down to nothing in under a second at the slightest hull breach.

“You’re on the right track,” Hilda says encouragingly. “Once you reach the trench and jump down, you’re only about 700 meters or so from the portal.”

“Any sign of the Kaiju?” Annette asks tensely.

“Not picking up anything yet,” Felix says. His monitors are all clear as they follow behind Cethleann Assal, one step at a time.

“Aegis, you have movement to your 3 o’clock,” Byleth says, calm but intent, “moving fast.”

“I don’t see anything, Professor,” Dimitri says, twisting his head to look. “It’s moving too fast, I can’t see anything.”

“Now it’s to your left,” Byleth says, “it’s circling around.”

“I’ve got nothing,” Felix says, shaking his head.

“Just keep moving forward,” Seteth says tersely, “we’re almost to the drop.”

They reach the ledge of the trench, the radar showing a vast expanse of empty water stretching out before them. Cethleann Assal jumps first, vaulting over the edge and down into the trench, and Felix and Dimitri follow, hopping down after them. Their sensors beep, alerting them to a change in temperature, and when Felix switches their viewscreens back to the cameras, they’re surrounded by several active volcanic vents, glowing with heat as they dispel gas and lava into the freezing ocean.

Continuing down the craggy trench, lit by the surreal underwater fire of the hydrothermal vents, Felix and Dimitri stay a little behind Seteth and Flayn, keeping their eyes peeled for the Kaiju. Up ahead, a different kind of light slowly filters through the gloom, growing bright and brighter as they approach, until it’s nearly bright as day. The portal.

“200 meters from the drop!” Flayn reports.

“The Kaiju are stopping,” Hilda breaks in, “I repeat, the Kaiju are stopping. I don’t know why, but they’ve suddenly just stopped moving completely.”

Up ahead of them, Felix sees Cethleann Assal slow to a stop as well. The portal sits down below in a deep slice of the trench, and they’ve stopped right at the edge of it. Felix exchanges a glance with Dimitri as they come to a halt as well.

“Why are you stopping?” Sylvain demands.

“Hold on a moment,” Seteth says, “we need to know why the Kaiju are—”

“It doesn’t matter, the portal is _right there_ —”

“Wait! Wait!” a new voice cries, somewhere in the background on the comms but still loud enough to be picked up. “Don’t do it, it’s not going to work!”

“Lysithea?” Dimitri asks. “What’s going on?”

“Marianne!” Mercedes gasps. “You’re awake!”

“Someone tell us what’s going on,” Felix says loudly, even as his eyes continue to rove restlessly across the rocky canyons bathed in the yellow light of the portal for any signs of the Kaiju.

“Lysithea and Marianne just burst in,” Annette explains quickly.

“Listen,” Lysithea says, her voice suddenly clear; Byleth must have given her their comm. “Blowing up the breach isn’t going to work!”

“What do you mean it’s not going to work?” Seteth demands. “The portal is open right now and we have a bomb.”

“Just because the breach is open doesn’t mean you’re going to be able to get a bomb through,” comes Marianne’s soft voice. She sounds tired, and Felix supposes it’s probably a miracle she’s even back up on her feet right now, but there’s also a core of steel to her words. “The breach genetically reads the Kaiju like a barcode and then lets them pass. I saw all this when I drifted with the Kaiju brain.”

Seteth sputters. “You _drifted_ with a _Kaiju br_ —?”

“So the Kaiju really are created like clones?” Felix interrupts him, because they don’t have time to go over it all right now.

“Yes, yes, Marianne was right all along after all,” Lysithea says impatiently, “and it all boils down to the fact that Kaiju are the creation of an alien race that wants to terraform this planet to their liking, and the Kaiju are sort of like their attack dogs to wipe the locals out— _us_ —so they can come in and take what they want. The portal is their doing too, which is why the magic was so unknown to me—it’s _literally_ not from this planet.”

_What the fuck,_ Felix thinks, and Dimitri shushes him even though he didn’t say it out loud.

“But the point is, you’re going to have to fool the breach into thinking that you have the same code as the Kaiju,” Marianne says, “or otherwise it’s never going to let the bomb through.”

“How are we supposed to do that?” Flayn wonders.

“By making it think you _are_ a Kaiju,” Marianne answers. “You’re going to have to lock onto one of the Kaiju and ride it back down into the breach. The portal will then read the Kaiju’s genetic code and let you pass. If you don’t do that, then the bomb will just deflect off the portal and the mission will fail.”

“And blow up in our faces,” Felix says, and he feels Dimitri clench his fist.

“And you’re absolutely _certain_ about this?” Seteth demands.

“Yes,” Marianne answers him, calm but firm. “For most of my life, I wasn’t sure what kind of Crest I had, but while I was unconscious, Manuela and her colleague, Professor Hanneman, were able to confirm that I have a Beast Crest. It’s what allowed me to successfully drift with the Kaiju brain—it’s probably the _only_ reason I was successful. But everything I know now I saw directly from the Kaiju brain’s memories. It’s all true.”

“Lysithea, your program is detecting a third Kaiju signature,” Hilda says suddenly, “another Kaiju is emerging from the breach.”

Felix and Dimitri look over to the portal. The surface has begun to spark, boiling like lava as it churns and swirls, and as they watch, a shape slowly begins to take form.

“It’s a triple event,” Lysithea breathes in horror. “Three Kaiju at once. Oh Seiros, _I was right_.”

“How big is it?” Dimitri asks, but Felix can already see his guess.

There’s a pause of silence over the comms.

“What Category?” Dimitri asks again. They can see the Kaiju’s head now, blunt like an ax, as it rises up into the ocean from another world.

“Dimitri,” Byleth says at last, their voice grim, “it’s a Category V. The first ever.”

Up and up and up the behemoth Kaiju rises, towering over Cethleann Assal where the Jaeger stands on the edge of the cliff above the portal. Its neon blue eyes glitter with an almost sentient malice as it opens its jaws and lets out a roar, loud enough to produce an underwater shockwave that rattles Felix and Dimitri’s sensors where they stand almost a hundred yards back.

“Assal, we see him,” Dimitri says, he and Felix beginning to move forward, “we’re going to try to get around him and flank him from the left—”

Something slams into them from the side with the force of a freight train, knocking them off their feet and sending them spinning through the water. Felix’s neck wrenches as his body slams against the rig, but he forces himself to look up and straighten in time to see one of the Category IV Kaiju barreling towards them, its jaws open wide.

Yelling, he and Dimitri leap up, jumping on top of their enemy and aiming a punch for the Kaiju’s bull-like head. They slam the Kaiju to the ocean floor, smashing its face once, twice, before rolling off of it and stumbling to their feet, the resistance of moving through the water with thousands of pounds of pressure weighing down on them making them clumsy.

“Dimitri, we didn’t give you your lance back, but we installed a chain sword in your arm like Felix’s,” Byleth says intently.

“I’ve got it, Professor,” Dimitri acknowledges, he and Felix lifting their right arms together as the chain sword within Areadbhar Aegis’ right arm unfolds and snaps into place, prepared to strike.

The second Category IV Kaiju barrels past them, jetting through the water like an eel, and clamps down on Dimitri’s arm with its teeth and rips it off completely without even slowing.

“Dimitri!” Ingrid shouts as they both scream, reeling as the momentum from the attack sends them into another spiral.

“Brace for impact!” Seteth shouts, and there’s an ugly crunch over the comms a second later.

They have to get up, Felix thinks, pushing his way through the pain. Seteth and Flayn have never been in combat before and are trying to hold off a Category V all on their own, and they have to get that bomb through the portal or all this will be for nothing.

The first Category IV rolls over and sinks its teeth into Felix’s leg, and they scream again as it shakes its head back and forth until there’s a loud snap. Alarms blare, indicating the leg has been crippled, but at least it’s not torn off. Bracing himself, Felix tears the leg free with a yell, dimly aware of their friends shouting his name now over the comms.

“We’re not done yet,” he snarls, lifting his left arm, and Dimitri mirrors him, clenching his teeth.

Areadbhar Aegis’ left chain sword unfolds on Felix’s side, and with a guttural noise, they launch themselves forward off their right leg, lunging forward and smashing the blade straight through the Kaiju’s head. The Kaiju screeches, flailing wildly, but they hang on with all their might, keeping it pinned to the floor like a stuck pig, and out of the corner of his eye, Felix sees the hydrothermal vent.

“Let’s get this bastard!” Dimitri roars, and little by little, they drag the Kaiju by the head towards the vent, pressing its face into the small pit and bearing down with all their weight on top of the monster as it begins to sear and then burn.

The Kaiju lets out a scream, blood billowing through the water, and it rears back. Felix and Dimitri pitch backwards, thrown off as the Kaiju shakes them loose and scrambles away, and they collapse down to their knees when their broken left leg is unable to support them. Felix throws out his arm, slamming the chain sword into the rock to keep them upright, and slowly they stand, balanced between the sword and Areadbhar Aegis’ right leg.

Already their movement has been cut down to less than half functional, and all three Kaiju are still in play. The wounded Kaiju hovers in the water before them, bleeding and burnt, but ready to fight.

“Aegis, coming up on your 12 o’clock!” Hilda shouts. “Full speed! Get out of the way!”

Felix and Dimitri look past the first Kaiju just as the second Category IV comes back into view, jetting towards them once again just like the first time. As it nears them, it unfolds its mouth and opens its jaws wide, showing no signs of slowing: it’s going to ram straight into them and rip them in half.

“Dimitri!” Felix yells, and together they thrust their left arms forward, bracing with everything they have as death barrels towards them.

The Kaiju has no time to slow or turn. It runs directly into their outstretched sword, momentum carrying it forward as the sword rips lengthwise through its entire body, Felix and Dimitri yelling as the Jaeger rattles around them and forcing their arm to stay up and steady. The two halves of the Kaiju fall apart on either side of them as they stumble forward, struggling to stay upright.

One down.

“The release is jammed!” Flayn’s voice comes over the comms, bursting with static. “We have no way to deliver the payload, Brother!” She doesn’t sound scared, but her voice is tense.

“We’re still armed!” Seteth answers, urgent but steady. “Half our systems are offline, but if we can override the—”

Flayn screams, and across the trench, Felix sees the Category V slam into Cethleann Assal with its full body, knocking them completely off their feet and slamming them through several basalt stacks as they careen across the ocean floor. Both Kaiju and Jaeger tumble head over heels through the water, taking wild swings at each other as momentum continues to carry them. Flayn and Seteth both let out yells as they try to drive one of their spiked claws through the Kaiju’s chest, but the Kaiju bats their attack away and pummels them into the ground. It dives down over them, ready to deliver a final blow.

“Now!” Seteth shouts, and Flayn screams as she thrusts her arm up again, slamming her claws directly into the Kaiju’s throat.

The Kaiju lets out an ear-splitting shriek, reeling backwards as Seteth and Flayn force themselves up beneath it, yelling with exertion as they force it back. Cethleann Assal regains its footing, standing once again as the Kaiju collapses in front of it, neon blood clouding the water.

Tilting back its head, the Kaiju opens its jaws and emits a piercing cry, shockwaves blasting through the water and causing some of the basalt stacks to crumble. In front of Felix and Dimitri, the Category IV Kaiju pauses in assessing them where they’re struggling to their feet, and turns its head to listen. A moment later, it abandons them entirely, rotating around in the water and using its enormous claws like paddles to begin swimming towards the Category V and Cethleann Assal on the other side of the trench.

“It’s calling for help,” Felix says, arm trembling with the effort of holding the Jaeger up.

“Both Kaiju converging on Assal,” Byleth says tersely.

“Hang on, Assal!” Dimitri calls, he and Felix doing their best to limp forward, but their left leg drags behind them uselessly. “We’re coming to you!”

“No!” Seteth booms, before subsiding a little. “No, Aegis. Do not come to our aid. Do you copy?”

“Hang on,” Dimitri shouts, “we’re—”

“No! Stay as far back as you can!”

“We can still reach you!” Dimitri grunts as they drag themselves forward another step. “We can still come to you!”

“No! Everyone listen to me,” Seteth orders, his tone brooking no room for argument. “Byleth, I’m sorry this is not per your original plan. But it’s the only way.”

“I understand,” Byleth says gently, “I’m sorry too.”

“What’s he saying?” Annette asks in a small voice.

“Areadbhar Aegis is nuclear,” Flayn says serenely, none of the strain from before in her voice. “You can still take her to the breach. You can still complete the mission.”

“No—” Dimitri starts.

“We understand,” Felix interrupts him. “Heading to the breach.”

Dimitri whips around to look at him, single eye wide and horrified. Felix holds his gaze, as sparks fly around them and saltwater sprays in all directions, leaking in from the damage they’ve sustained.

“You can still finish this, Dimitri,” Seteth says into the heavy silence over the comms. The Category IV Kaiju is drawing closer and closer to where he and Flayn stand, and the Category V waits.

“We’re a walking nuclear reactor,” Felix says to Dimitri, not harshly. He can feel how much this kills Dimitri, to make this sacrifice. Even if it’s necessary. Even if they have no other choice. “We can still destroy the breach.”

Dimitri holds his gaze a moment longer. Felix lets him see his regret too, that it’s come to this.

Then Dimitri nods, though his face crumples as they wheel Areadbhar Aegis around, back towards the portal. “Seteth,” he says, his voice steady for how deep his sorrow cuts, “Flayn. Thank you. We won’t let it be in vain.”

“Wait a moment,” Ingrid says, slightly panicked, “you can’t really—”

“It is our honor to clear your path,” Seteth says calmly as the two Kaiju close in on Cethleann Assal together, “may the blessings of Seiros be with us all.”

“Thank you, Father,” Flayn whispers, and then Cethleann Assal ignites in a nuclear explosion as the bomb on its back detonates.

“Hold on, Felix!” Dimitri shouts as the shockwave from the explosion blasts into them.

They pitch forward and Felix slams his sword into the ground to keep them from being blown backwards and smashed into the wall of the trench, bracing themselves against the force of the eruption. All of their sensors are going haywire, blown out entirely, and it takes several long moments for the water around them to clear and settle, all the rock and dust blasted out of the trench and into the open ocean.

“Aegis, status report,” Byleth says as the interference from the explosion dies down. “Dimitri, Felix, do you copy? Can you finish the mission?”

“All systems are critical,” Felix reports as they straighten slowly, wobbling on their single leg. “Fuel is leaking, and our right arm is gone. Left leg is crippled.” He looks across the Conn-Pod at Dimitri, who is barely hanging on where the rig holds him up in place. “Let’s finish this.”

Dimitri nods, gathering himself. “I’m right here with you,” he answers, and with effort they start dragging themselves towards the breach again. As they move forward, one of the Kaiju’s bodies comes into view, mangled where it lies on the floor of the trench, and together they reach down to grab it. “LOCCENT, we have a Kaiju carcass. We are making our way to the portal.”

“Come on, guys,” Sylvain says intently, “you’re so close. You’ve got this.”

“You can do it,” Mercedes encourages. “Just a little more.”

“You guys had better be right about this,” Felix pants as they limp towards the edge of the portal, every step taking monumental effort. They’re only 100 yards away...50...25...10…

“Almost there!” Ingrid says. “Come on, guys!”

“You’re almost there,” Annette echoes her, “just a little further!”

“Kaiju signature rising, watch out!” Lysithea cries, and Felix and Dimitri come to a staggering halt as the Category V Kaiju claws its way up onto the ledge in front of the portal with a roar.

“Oh, fuck off,” Felix says, dropping the Kaiju carcass in his hand and readying his chain sword.

“Rear jets on my mark!” Dimitri orders, keying in the command. “Three! Two! One! _Now!_ ”

Felix feels the rockets on their back light up, and then he and Dimitri launch themselves forward at the Kaiju. They slam into it at full force, knocking it backwards off the edge of the cliff, and Felix wraps his arm around the Kaiju’s neck even as it struggles and flails, slamming his sword through the back of its head and anchoring their Jaeger to its body as they fall, plunging downwards towards the sizzling portal.

“Hold on!” Dimitri is yelling, but it’s taking all of Felix’s concentration as the Kaiju claws at them in its death throes. “Hold on, Felix! Hold on!”

The Kaiju rips at the back of Areadbhar Aegis as they spiral downwards, the Conn-Pod jolting terribly with every blow, sparks flying and alarms blaring as all systems begin to fail. Dimly, Felix is aware of everyone shouting as the world spins around dizzyingly and their Jaeger is smashed again and again, but all he can do is hold onto the Kaiju with all his might, keeping his sword buried in his head as they fall.

“Hold on, Felix,” Dimitri is still yelling, “I’m going to burn this son of a bitch!” He slams a fist on his control panel and the screen lights up with WARNING just before the nuclear turbine in their chest ignites, searing a hole straight through the Kaiju’s stomach.

The Kaiju goes limp, all of its thrashing cut off at once. Felix feels himself nearly lose his grip on its body as they continue to fall, but he digs in with the last of his strength as they hit the surface of the portal. There’s a bright flash of light, and a pop like static, and then they slip through along with the Kaiju’s limp body.

They’re in.

“We made it,” he rasps, finally loosening his grip. His sword slides out of the Kaiju’s body even as they continue to fall, dreamily slow now, down through the portal. Everything around them is neon blue, crackling with electricity, the walls shimmering with the unearthly magic Lysithea wasn’t able to crack.

There’s no response. They’re far out of range of the comms being able to reach their friends, and when he looks across the Conn-Pod at Dimitri, Dimitri hangs limply in the rig, only half conscious and starting to fade fast.

“Oxygen levels critical,” Felix reads aloud from his control panel. His side of the Conn-Pod is holding steady, but Dimitri’s must have been hit harder by the flailing Kaiju and been damaged; his levels are already only at 15% capacity and dropping.

Carefully, Felix unhooks himself from the rig, the apparatus releasing him with a soft hiss. He takes his life support link and disengages that as well, reaching across to pull Dimitri’s out and hooking his up to the back of Dimitri’s Drivesuit instead.

“There,” he says aloud to no one faintly. Maybe the poor oxygen is already starting to affect him. “It’s alright, Dimitri. We did it.”

“Felix,” Dimitri murmurs, eyes half-lidded. He’s still not fully conscious, and weak from the battle.

That’s okay. That’s okay. “I can finish this alone,” Felix tells him, reaching up to press a hand against Dimitri’s helmet. His clear visor is in the way of Felix being able to touch his face, but this will do. “All I have to do is fall. Anyone can fall.”

“Felix,” Dimitri gets out with effort, trying to rouse himself, “no, Felix—”

“It’s okay,” Felix tells him, and means it. They were supposed to make it back together, but things don’t always go to plan. Someone has to finish the mission. “They need you more than they need me.” He swivels around unsteadily, already faint from lack of oxygen, and reaches for the front control panel. His entire arm is shaking with effort, but he manages to punch in the command sequence to launch Dimitri’s escape pod.

“Felix,” Dimitri murmurs sleepily, still struggling to wake even as the rig begins to carefully fold him upwards into the pod, “Felix, please—don’t—”

“I love you,” Felix tells him, and then Dimitri’s gone from sight, his escape pod sealing with a soft hiss. A moment later, there’s a thud as the hatch opens and the pod is ejected, jettisoned upwards back towards the portal they fell down through. It will blast straight through, and continue on its way back up to the surface of the ocean where Shatterdome search and rescue will be able to locate and recover Dimitri. He’s safe now.

Quietly, Dimitri’s mind slips away from Felix’s as the drift is broken and their neural handshake collapses. Only then does Felix allow himself to feel his grief.

“LOCCENT, if you can still hear me, I’m going to initiate core meltdown,” Felix announces, swaying on his feet as he turns his attention back to the control panel. Shakily, he keys in the command, only for the screen to flash a warning at him: SYSTEM FAILURE. MANUAL OVERRIDE REQUIRED.

Shit.

The Conn-Pod lurches, what’s left of the Jaeger spinning as it continues its fall through the throat of the portal. Felix hits the floor hard, grunting in pain as the air is knocked out of his lungs—air he can’t afford to lose, since he has so little of it left. Dizzily, he picks himself up, crawling across the floor to where he knows there’s a hatch—a hatch where he can manually override the core to—to—

He collapses, gasping for breath. There’s no strength left in his limbs, every muscle screaming in agony. The Jaeger is falling, falling. It must nearly be to the other side of the portal now, to wherever the Kaiju are coming from. Where they’re being created by beings who want to destroy Faerghus, destroy Fódlan, destroy the whole world, to take for themselves.

He can’t give up. He can’t stop now.

For Dimitri.

Felix drags himself over the rest of the way to the hatch, twisting the handle and wrenching it open to find the manual override switch for the nuclear core, plastered with warning labels. As soon as he twists the switch down into place, a tiny digital clock flickers into view on the tiny screen next to it, flashing to 60 and immediately beginning to count down.

Core meltdown in T-minus 60. 59. 58. 57.

Overwhelming relief floods through Felix, even as his vision swims. It’s done.

He picks himself up. Black spots dance across his vision, and everything swirls. He stumbles back over to the front control panel and keys in what he thinks is the second escape pod launch sequence. Or maybe he missed a key? Did he get it right? Something’s clamping onto the back of his Drivesuit but it’s hard to think straight, it’s hard to see, it’s hard to breathe—

Felix closes his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please reference art again by **YinYoru** [here on twitter](https://twitter.com/yin_yoru/status/1320225571914321920?s=20)!


	10. Chapter 10

Dimitri opens his eyes.

“—each has collapsed! The breach has collapsed! He did it, he did it, _the breach has collapsed!_ ”

There’s wild cheering in his ears, what sounds like a hundred people screaming and whooping as he slowly comes back to himself. He feels like he’s been beaten within an inch of his life, every muscle in his body sore, and at first his eye doesn’t even want to fully open as he tries to make sense of what he’s looking at. Blue. Blue sky.

“To the choppers,” comes a calm, authoritative voice, cutting above the sounds of everyone else celebrating. The Professor. Byleth. “I want those pods recovered ASAP. Hilda, have they reached the surface yet?”

“Yes, I’ve got satellite visuals on Dimitri’s pod,” Hilda reports. “Tracking the exact location now. Vitals are solid.”

The top hatch to Dimitri’s escape pod jettisons off, exposing him to cold but welcomingly fresh air. He sits up slowly, his head pounding. The ocean is thankfully calm today, hardly any waves at all, and his pod bobs peacefully on the surface as it begins to emit green locator fluid that will help the search and rescue teams spot him against all the deep blue.

_They need you more than they need me,_ Felix had said. _I love you._

_Felix._

“Felix,” he rasps, sitting up and tearing his helmet off.

“Dimitri!” Sylvain says with obvious relief. “You’re awake! Welcome back, bud—”

“Where’s Felix?” he demands, his throat torn raw.

“Where’s the second pod?” Byleth asks calmly.

“I’m tracking it, but I’m getting no vital signs,” Hilda answers, her voice subdued.

Shakily, Dimitri climbs to his feet. He turns slowly on the spot, looking in all directions. If the second pod is coming up, it should appear any moment now. Any moment now. His breathing is coming out harsh, panicked.

“Dimitri,” Mercedes begins gently, her voice full of sorrow.

There’s a huge splash behind him, and Dimitri whirls around. The second escape pod pops up out of the water, bobbing to the surface. Without hesitating, Dimitri dives forward, the icy water hitting him like a wall, and kicks his way over to the raft. It’s only several yards away from his own, but it feels like a mile in the cold water and the way his heart feels like it's caught in his throat.

“Dimitri, be careful!” Ingrid cries.

Dimitri grabs onto the edge of Felix’s escape pod, hauling himself up on top of it. Shaking from the cold, it takes him two tries for his fingers to hook into the latches to release the top hatch, sending it skittering out across the water.

Inside the pod is Felix, lying motionless and limp.

Dimitri rips off Felix’s helmet, tossing it aside. He presses his finger against the side of Felix’s throat, willing himself to stop trembling, and willing Felix’s heart to be beating.

There’s nothing.

“I can’t,” he says, his voice catching and threatening to crack, “I can’t find his pulse.”

“Dimitri—” Annette begins, her voice tearful.

“I don’t think he’s breathing,” Dimitri says helplessly, and takes a shuddering breath. His hands brush across Felix’s face aimlessly. “Felix? Felix?”

“Dimitri,” Byleth says, low and intent, “Listen to me. It could be that his sensors aren’t working. We can’t be sure until—”

Dimitri pulls Felix’s limp form up into his arms, hugging him tightly to his chest. He buries his face in Felix’s hair, willing himself not to cry even as he feels the tears, hot and salty, welling up. “No. No. Felix, please. Don’t go. Don’t go.”

“Dimitri,” Byleth says gently.

“Please don’t go,” Dimitri whispers, “Please. _Please._ ”

“You’re squeezing me too tight,” a muffled voice says, right against his chest.

Immediately Dimitri lifts his head, pulling back and hardly daring to hope. Felix coughs weakly, eyes fluttering open, and somehow managing a faintly sardonic look.

“I couldn’t breathe,” he says accusingly, his voice hoarse, but the corners of his lips are twitching.

He’s alive. He’s _alive._

“Felix,” Dimitri says, the name like a prayer, and then they’re both laughing, so relieved it’s all they can do, shifting forward so Dimitri can wrap his arms around Felix more comfortably and Felix can rest against him, his own arms wrapped around Dimitri too, holding each other close. On the comm line, a wild cheer goes up as everyone screams Felix’s name, celebrating all over again, joyous and exuberant.

Dimitri can only hold onto Felix, reveling in the feeling of Felix’s heart beating strong and steady against his own. They made it. They’re both here. They’re both alive.

They’ve won.

“This is Professor Byleth Eisner, Director of the Shatterdome,” Byleth announces over the comms, calm and unflappable as always. “The breach is sealed. The apocalypse is henceforth canceled.”

The cheer that goes up after that announcement, broadcasted through LOCCENT and the rest of the Shatterdome, is so loud Dimitri’s comm link nearly shorts out with a burst of static. It’s really, truly, finally over. It’s like the dawn of a new day, a new age.

“Dimitri, Felix, just stay where you are,” Byleth adds a moment later, the sounds of celebration still carrying on behind them, “we have choppers en route to pick you up.”

“Thank you, Professor,” Dimitri says. He pulls back from Felix again, just far enough to take him in. Absently, he reaches up to mute his comm, even though everyone else is surely too busy celebrating to eavesdrop. “Thank you, Felix.”

“For what?” Felix asks, lifting an eyebrow. He looks just about as exhausted as Dimitri feels, but his golden eyes burn so bright.

“For coming back,” Dimitri says simply as the drone of helicopters draws near. The future is bright, now that the threat of the Kaijus is gone forever, but it wouldn’t be nearly as incandescent if Felix weren’t here with him.

“Well,” Felix replies casually, but there’s a faint flush rising on his cheeks despite the cold, “I did promise that I would.”

Dimitri laughs softly, leaning forward to press his forehead against Felix’s, the two of them resting against each other, close and intimate. The future is already unfolding before them, bright with endless possibilities. “Yes. You promised to be at my side.”

“Yeah,” Felix says, slowly taking Dimitri’s hand and twining their fingers together like an unbreakable vow, “and that’s where I’ll always be.”


End file.
